First time and struggling : Hi all, not sure I'm in the... - NCT

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First time and struggling

Heregosnothing profile image

Hi all, not sure I'm in the Wright place but ...I'm 25 and have been married for 7 months. I'm new here and I found this place as I wanted to vent or chat to someone other than my husband.

We have been trying for a baby for about 7 months now, I was on the pill but came off of it about 3 months before we started to try. This is something I have always wanted and with every month that I get a period it breaks my heart, and I know it can take up to a year for a couple to get pregnant but I can't help feeling down and worried.

My husband always tells me that "it can take a year" , "not rush things"or "overthink it" and my personal favourite "it will happen when it happens" I know he's trying to help but I feel alone in my frustration.

It makes it even harder seeing all my school friends with 2-3 children already, it makes me feel broken.

I know that 7 months is not a very long time in the scheme of things when it comes to trying to get pregnant however I always thought it would happen quicker than it is. I can't help but overthink every time my period it late or o get some vague symptom of pregnancy.

As much as I love my husband I don't think he understands the torture and heart break I go through every month.

Anyway thank you for reading, it feels good to get it out and hopefully have some understanding! X

15 Replies

Sorry to hear of struggle every month that goes passed without a pregnancy is too long.

I struggled to conceive - it took us 7 years due to a delayed diagnosis of endometriosis, I had 4 surgeries ( 3 were to treat endometriosis) 1 chemical pregnancy but we had our daughter last June. It was the toughest thing I’ve ever done but looking at my daughter it was the best thing I done.

There a fertility forum for those struggling to conceive. I found it very helpful & felt less “alone” talking to others who understood it better.

If you’re under 35 go to your GP after TTC for 1 year if over 35 see a GP after 6 months.

I hope it’s just a matter of time & soon you get positive test. Never give up hope it can happen. xxx

Heregosnothing profile image
Heregosnothing in reply to

Thank you, I feel silly as it hasn't been long and your story puts it into perspective! Congratulations on your baby girl I'm so happy to hear a positive ending ♥️

in reply to Heregosnothing

My story wasn’t to make you feel bad or that your struggle isn’t valid.

I can remember feeling really freaked out by 4 months that it hadn’t happened I even visited the GP who said it hadn’t been very long & made me feel silly for going to see him!

I wanted to give you hope that even after a long time of trying it can still happen. It can feel like it’ll never happen ( I felt like that) it’s very hard when others around you are falling so easily makes you feel worse about the situation. xxx

Heregosnothing profile image
Heregosnothing in reply to

I know, I didn't mean you made me feel bad, I meant that it's nice to have a story of hope and success and it has made me feel better about my situation.

No matter how long it takes I'm hopeful it will happen and your story helps a lot with the hope!

And thank you for sharing your story I really do appreciate it xxx

Hi Heregosnothing

Are you tracking your cycle? I found the app ‘Flo’ really helpful, you can record everything and help pinpoint your ovulation day. You can also get ovulation tests and thermometers to really nail it down, which a few friends of mine used. Perhaps go to Boots and ask the pharmacist for some advice?

Hope this helps x

I am, it's not the best app so I might look into Flo.

I haven't used any other means of checking ovulation, my husband thinks im overthinking it and says I'm putting pressure on myself.

Anytime I bring up anything to do with getting pregnant he dismisses it, I understand why to a point but it doesn't help.

Seb9 profile image
Seb9 in reply to Heregosnothing

Apps are good at tracking ovulation but are not always that accurate as each person is different. If you also check your cervical mucus, and track that during the month when you've got egg white mucus that's your best time to try. You can also check your temperature a this changes around ovulation (I didn't do this) I also bought ovulation sticks (a big pack from amazon) I found using the app for a rough idea, then checking for mucus and then testing for ovulation meant I could be confident I'd get the best time for trying. We tried for just over a year, I tried not to dwell on it too much when it didn't work as I knew you wouldn't get help until you had tried for the year so just kept going! Fortunately for us we got pregnant just before we were thinking of going to get checked out.

Woo19 profile image
Woo19 in reply to Heregosnothing

Hi

I too was going to say try using Flo, they have chats and secret chats too and there’s a big thread about trying to conceive so, you may find it helpful for a few reasons. Also, you haven’t long been off your pill and that can play a part too, I think it can take up to a year to get regular monthly and get the hormone out of your system ... just thought I would highlight that bit so maybe you feel less worried

Good luck x

Sorry to hear of your struggles. Try not to worry too much! I took 8 months to get pregnant when I came off the pill. Try absolutely everything you can opk strips etc. Good luck

Clear blue digital ovulation kit was pretty good at helping to track ovulation and narrow it down to your fertile window. But tracking and peeing on sticks can also take over your mind too! It would be a good idea for you to know when your window tends to be but don't stress if it doesn't happen soon, I know its easy to say, but your young, I'm assuming healthy, and it can take time. If your super worried you can always go to your gp, say youvre been trying for two years and see if they will offer you any tests? All the best ❤️ xxx

So sorry you’re feeling down. You can also buy a sperm test kit from Boots to give you some indication of that. Have you had any relaxing time just the two of you lately? I know a lot of friends who have been stressed about it and it’s not happened until they’re feeling more relaxed and happy. Also there’s an old wives tale of you both eating a banana every day, apparently the vitamins help your hormones? Just as you’ve said, 7 months isn’t long at all, especially when you have been on the pill first, try to relax and take some time with just the two of you and I’m sure it’ll happen xx

Ovulation test strips would be a good start. We took 7 years and 6 rounds of ivf before we finally welcomed our little boy to the world. There are many of us here who totally understand your feeling each month, and whether it is months or years does not take away from the pain and anguish you are going through every time your period arrives.

When I started I was really astounded by how little I knew about how to get pregnant. We get told all the time about how not to get pregnant. So, yes get an app but also go onto Amazon and you can get ovulation test strips for pennies. That way you know when you are ovulating and also that you are actually ovulating.

Try not to do much else as it can become easily all consuming.

Good luck xxx

I found the app Natural Cycles really great at tracking ovulation, it takes your temp everyday so it's more sophisticated at knowing when your ovulation starts and when to try for a baby, than apps that don't use temperature.

That being said, if you're really worried that something might be wrong, I would go to your docs :)

Wishing you all the best! xxx

Like others said perhaps try the clear blue ovulation sticks. I was surprised when I used them as I found out I ovulated late in my cycle and got pregnant after using them

Wishing you all the best xx

I relate to this post so much, I’ve been trying for 6 months and my periods due tomorrow, everything is negative so far and I’m tracking everything, peeing on so many ovulation and pregnancy sticks every time I think I’m getting somewhere, one negative pregnancy test just brings me crashing back down to earth, no one else seems to get it cos they’ve already got kids or don’t want any and my fiancé doesn’t care how long it takes but I know it’s breaking him every month we don’t get pregnant 😔 if you ever want to talk to someone in a similar boat my dms are always open and we can middle through this together xx

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