I’m so old!!: Just had the shock of my life. I have a 1... - NCT

NCT
34,323 members12,797 posts

I’m so old!!

louisebrock
louisebrock
35 Replies

Just had the shock of my life. I have a 15 year old son already, am 43 years old and have just found out that I am pregnant!

Things get even more complicated as I also suffer from type one diabetes which has never been very well controlled. I am due to fly to Australia next Sunday for the whole of December. I haven’t told my partner yet or anyone else. I fear that my family’s response is not going to be positive.

Just looking for some reassurance really that it is possible to have a baby at this age and manage?! I’m worried that I’m already too tired (pre pregnancy) and feel like I’m 70 most days as it is! How on earth will I cope with little sleep and a newborn and then toddler to look after?! Is anyone else of a similar age and either pregnant or recently had a baby? 😊

35 Replies
oldestnewest
Pumpkins

Hi I am 42 I've never been pregnant I'm wondering how I will cope.

I PCOS not sure if I can become pregnant.

Is the diabetes in the well controledl then you'll be the same as general population

How do you did you manage diabetes with the first child

I think it'll be alright on the night

Reply
louisebrock

I’m sorry, my post must read as so insensitive. Longing for a much wanted child must be so painful and posts like mine must claw at that pain. I wish you nothing but love.

There is further context to my post. I have previously suffered two miscarriages and last year my 22 year old son, who was severely disabled and whom I had cared for all of his life, died.

My head is all over the place. My pregnancy is deemed high risk due to health complications and it has come as some what of a shock. I am still befuddled with grief at the loss of my son. There is significant risk of miscarriage with this pregnancy and I do not think I could cope with another loss.

None of that mitigates my sincere apologies for submitting a post which could cause many women, desperately trying to convince, further pain and heartache. I’m sorry and send hope, peace and what ever comfort I can, your way.

Louise x

7 likes
Reply
gcw104

I’m 39 been ttc since 37 had 3 mmc although we are still ttc I get where your coming from your body is older than in your 20’s used to sleeping only waking for wee trips to the bathroom lol I sometimes think really can I even be bothered my big kids will have left school by then time this one will be starting. Peppa pig on the telly constantly! But my partner has no kids and tbh I don’t feel we’ll be lucky enough to fall pregnant again but are trying.

Reply
louisebrock
louisebrock
in reply to gcw104

Good luck, wishing you all the very best.

1 like
Reply
Camillage

Hi

I am about to turn 43 next week and I have a 4 month old (which took 6 rounds of ivf and 7 years). You are not alone and definitely not the oldest mummy to be. Congratulations! I am so pleased for you. Happy to chat if you have any questions xxx

Reply
gcw104
gcw104
in reply to Camillage

How u getting on?

Reply
Camillage
Camillage
in reply to gcw104

Good thanks. Angus is just amazing and I still cant believe it is all true. How are you? X

Reply
gcw104
gcw104
in reply to Camillage

Aww that’s good x yeah I’m good just plodding on with life.

Reply
Camillage
Camillage
in reply to gcw104

Saw your post about amh. I think it needs to be looked at alongside fsh? But whatever clinic you go to would have their own thoughts. Xx

Reply
gcw104
gcw104
in reply to Camillage

It’s like drawing teeth I give up with the clinic you would think it’s just standard testing I suppose it doesn’t really matter the outcome I’m at the end of the line with treatment.

Reply
louisebrock

Thank you, I haven’t told anyone yet so it’s nice to share the news somewhere!

1 like
Reply
Kassy33
Kassy33
in reply to louisebrock

43 isn't too old to have babies. I do however understand your reservations. Children are such a blessing and you have another chance to raise one. Trust the process and just aim to look after you very well in regards to your health and avoid stressful situations as much as possible. The rest leave to God. Congratulations

Reply
louisebrock
louisebrock
in reply to Kassy33

xx

Reply
LCEIreland

I’m 42 and just had my second child in August. I don’t have diabetes but my older child is 3 so hard work looking after a baby and a toddler. It’s hard work but the love I get and the changes in both boys make it so worth while. Your body will cope better than you think

1 like
Reply
louisebrock

That’s so reassuring, thank you. I just don’t have the energy that I did when I was 20! A baby and a toddler must be hard work but the utter joy they must bring must be wonderful x

Reply
jowalk6

I had my 3rd son at 42. I understand how you feel. My little girl was born asleep so I was petrified all through my last pregnancy. But my gorgeous boy was my rainbow baby. Whatever age you are babies area blessing. Some people have a lot to go through to get there and my heart goes out to you all. As for you hun you will cope with it all and look forward to meeting your little one. All will work out and you will be closely monitored by midwives etc. Good luck hun x

Reply
louisebrock
louisebrock
in reply to jowalk6

Thank you so much. I’m sorry for your losses and thrilled for your success. I’m sure I’ll manage, I’m just not looking forward to my family’s ‘opinions’!

Reply
Georgielouise

Nonsense not too old...I have just had a baby at 42 , I turn 43 in February... I had to do IvF for mine so you have done very well to get pregnant . All that I can say is that you will have lots of extra appointments and scans to keep an eye on you as you will be considered a high risk . Then of course there is the risk of downs. I didn't have any tests as wanted the baby even if he had it.Luckily I had a healthy baby boy born elective c section at 37 weeks. I had no complications through the pregnancy or birth.

Yes I was tired throughout my pregnancy, yes I felt it more this time around but I have a 3 year old who was two throughout my pregnancy so that took it out of me. I also have an older child -20 , so its like starting over again. I love it though, I love being a mummy and am finding it is going well. My baby boy has been ill quite a lot with colds and coughs and so has been crying a lot and needs a lot of attention but I think being older I have a lot of patience and am very organised so am doing ok. I also have 3 horses to look after so its juggling a lot. I don't feel too old and I am sure you won't either....I am sure your family will be happy, after all its always lovely to have a newborn in the family... Best of luck x

2 likes
Reply
louisebrock

Gosh, you all sound like Wonder Women! Since the death of my son last year I’ve done bugger all except lady on the sofa and eat so I’m super out of shape. I m guess I better get my trainers on and start getting a bit fitter.

I’m dreading all the tests, all the worry and fear. I wish I could just stay in this little bubble of no one knowing!

Reply
Georgielouise

So sorry about your son, very sad . It is a worry being pregnant... I miscarried a few years ago at my first ivf attempt and then when I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 38 I did nothing but worry. This time around I was more relaxed but probably didn't have time to worry as had my little girl to look after so kept my mind busy.

Fingers crossed all is well for you.

1 like
Reply
nsha

Hey :) the very first thing is to see someone for the diabetes side of things in light of the fact you’re pregnant... ideally they like to see type 1 diabetics at preconception so would be best to see someone now for advice and about when you’ll be away. Type 1 in pregnancy makes for a v high risk pregnancy (don’t need to tell you this haha) because even the best controlled find it difficult to maintain levels especially towards the end... rather unlike type 2 or gestational diabetes most of the time.

In terms of age, you will be ok ❤️ Having a baby is never easy but people manage the most impossible situations, having triplets, having their seventh child, all sorts, and what you think now seems too hard, things will be alright. Sometimes people need time to come round but they almost always do x

1 like
Reply
louisebrock
louisebrock
in reply to nsha

Thank you for your kind understanding. I think I’m in a bit of denial. As soon as I tell anyone all the tests and the worry will begin, I’m hiding away at the moment just me and my baby. I am taking care though, testing my sugars two hourly and giving the correct insulin. I’m going to go to the doctors on Monday.

Crikey, I had thought this part of my life was over!

Reply
Noobs

Hey, I’m 43 in December and my lb is 7 months. I’m sure I don’t have as much energy as the younger me would have had but I’ve much more patience😀xx

1 like
Reply
Noobs
Noobs
in reply to Noobs

Congratulations by the way.xx

1 like
Reply
louisebrock
louisebrock
in reply to Noobs

I know it’s daft but I’m worried about getting funny looks or people thinking I’m the grandma! Glad to hear you’re happy and healthy!

1 like
Reply
Noobs
Noobs
in reply to louisebrock

It’s crossed my mind too but we’ll just have to keep looking young😬. X

Reply
louisebrock
louisebrock
in reply to Noobs

Yep, slather on the potions and lotions!

1 like
Reply
jowalk6

My eldest son was 19 when I had my little boy. He came to the hospital with me a lot when I went for ante natal checks. I remember one time a couple kept giving us strange looks and talking between themselves. I said to my son I bet they think your my toyboy and he just said stuff em mum it's their problem not yours. He just looked right at them and grinned lol. x

2 likes
Reply
louisebrock
louisebrock
in reply to jowalk6

What a fab son! x

Reply
Billybob_1

I had my little boy when I was 41, in May this year and I can’t believe how easy it has all been - the pregnancy was a breeze and my little boy is fabulous.

This is my only baby and I had no prior experience of babies, only animals, and everyone was telling me what a shock I was going to get - never get another hot cup of tea, no sleep etc - just not the case. My little one is an absolute dream, so either I’ve been really lucky or chilled out, relaxed parenting and the fact I was determined not to find this hard has rubbed off on him!!

I wish you all the luck in the world, you’ll be amazing x

3 likes
Reply
louisebrock

Thank you so so much. All you ever hear is stories of how hard being an older mum is. Thank you for the reassurance! x

Reply
Tugsgirl

Congratulations 🥳

I’m a slightly older mummy and I’ve just become a first time mum at the grand age of 39 after having three previous miscarriages and 6 rounds of ivf. I often wonder if I’d feel less tired had I been a ftm 10, even 5 years ago but it is what it is and after a difficult pregnancy and emergency c section, I have a beautiful (almost) 16 week old rainbow baby girl 💕 Yes I’m tired but yes I’ll cope. She’s worth it.

My Nan (who I named my princess after) had 13 children. Her first was at 19 and her last at 42! Don’t ask me how she coped but she did, and she was a fantastic mother and beautiful grandmother. You’ll be ok 👍🏻 xx

1 like
Reply
JojoWash

I’m desperate for another little one, I’m 40 and have had two miscarriages. Yeah I definitely will feel the difference being this age for sure! I have a 14 & 16 year old!

Good luck and try not to worry. It’s a little miracle! Going on holiday won’t affect pregnancy but pregnancy might affect your diabetes so maybe check with doc so you’re covered when on holiday x

Reply
Davies2807

I'm 43 and have a 4 and a 6 yr old because I was told I couldn't have kids lol but started menopause and fell pregnant sometimes by 8 pm I'm nackered pmsl as I have adopted my neice and nephew too but I wouldn't change it for the world xxx you will be great

1 like
Reply
SukiPook

Hi Louise, congrats and good luck! I'm 45 and pregnant for the first time. (15 weeks now .. IVF with my own eggs and husband's sperm). The first trimester was rough but feeling better now. I too am worried about tiredness as I've felt v old and tired in the last few years! Good incentive to get fit again... and yes you'll have to keep a tight eye on your diabetes but perhaps the baby will bring a new lease of life... look after yourself and take each day as it comes x

1 like
Reply

You may also like...