Follow up, re not feeling well to bad news! - NCT

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Follow up, re not feeling well to bad news!

I posted on here about 3 weeks ago regarding sickness etc... Pregnant with twins. On Tuesday at my 12 week scan I got told one of my twins died and the other baby is healthy. I'm feeling low and tearful. Don't know who to talk to? People want to start buying for the baby now, but I don't! I'm scared and worried about everything... I feel lonely x

6 Replies

So sorry to hear this it must be awful to hear about one of the twins but I’m glad the other baby is healthy. Maybe ask your midwife if there is any organisations you could talk to about it.

I don’t blame you for feeling anxious about people buying things. I had IVF and had a miscarriage after my first attempt so when we got pregnant again I was terrified. Maybe just say to people you would rather they didn’t start just yet at least until the 20 week scan maybe? Xx


Oh bless you this is sad, was there myself but unfortunately after few days also lost the other baby, as you are pass 12 week scan it’s great news the baby is ok. It will take some time to adjust to the news but with time you will better just think you still have one healthy baby and to you have to stay strong for that baby, don’t forget the baby might feel mums moods so try to get strong.

In regards to buying stuff for a baby this is definitely to early. I have not allow anyone to get any gifts until my baby shower in 3 rd trimester. If something goes wrong (not saying it will but if) have anything will make the situation so much more difficult so just asked everyone to respect that.

Good luck with your pregnancy


I know how you feel i lost one of my twins at 9 weeks and had quite a few scares with the other baby after that i just constantly worried even when had 12 week scan i wouldn't buy anything we found out at 16 weeks we are having a girl and i allowed myself to buy one outfit and i have been bombarded with ppl saying have you bought your crib etc yet and have told everyone i will not buy anything else until I've had my 20 week scan which is next monday I'm constantly anxious but try not to show it as ppl don't seem to understand why. I am excited also but not as much as i could be. It takes time to get your head around it but it can still catch me off guard the other day someone said how are the baby's i said just one she said oh I'm so sorry and i had to change the subject quickly to stop myself getting upset. It gets better slowly as more time passes and you pass each milestone x


I’m so sorry for your loss that’s heartbreaking.

When I had a miscarriage at the same scan, the next pregnancy I didn’t buy anything until the 20 week anomaly scan so I knew the baby was healthy. Due to a couple of friends experiences I didn’t want to buy things that early. Plus baby stuff is always on sale you have months of time! X


Hi Michelle. I’m sorry you are going through this. I lost one of mine at 16 weeks and it’s very hard. One min, Happy about one baby but nervous about pregnancy and still grieving the lost one :-(

I’m now 25 weeks and still won’t buy anything.

Are you under consultant care? Hopefully they’ll give you lots of scans and give you more confidence as time goes on.

A few people here have been through similar and have supported each other. If you ever want to chat feel free to PM any time xxx


I'm so sorry, if course you are nervous. It's a big blow. Can you talk to a mc support group. They will understand. You need time to grieve the loss of your baby, the loss of the twin dream, and reconnect with your baby. It's big, so pls get help. Just tell family you need space to process and not to crowd you and you will let them know when u r ready to move forward. Sending big hug and blessings for your healing heart.


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