My partner does not want our baby

[Jordanlexie]

As the title says, just found out I’m pregnant, he’s adamant he does not want a baby.

We are a family of 8, I have 4 of my own children and he has 2, we are a very happy family who all love each other.

Since I told him Wednesday night I had discovered I was pregnant he has said he is now questioning our relationship as we want different things meaning this pregnancy... it was an accident however I see it as a blessing and that maybe it happened for a reason ( have had a very tough few years having 3 operations, lots of court dates for my children as ex husband not very nice and my eldest revealing to me he was sexually abused as a child by his father now going to trial) and so maybe this is our chance to really cement our family and celebrate it but he is just completely against it.

I’m in such turmoil as what to do and I think I just needed to let it out more than anything!!

[JojoWash]

Oh god. What an ordeal you are going through, I can’t imagine the stress you are all under, especially finding out about sexual abuse.

I can imagine he feels he can’t take anymore stress or worries. A mans way of dealing with stuff. You have a life inside you now, it’s done. Yes it’s going to change things and that’s what he’s worried about, or should I say scared of.

Give him some time, tell him you love him and his child growing inside of you and that you realise timing is bad but it wasn’t planned and now it’s happening. That you understand he’s scared and worried and it seems the easy answer to ‘not’ have it but the implications of ‘not’ having it is traumatic too, especially against you will. Personally I think I will destroy you if you were to terminate, you clearly want the baby, I know people who didn’t want the baby and had termination only to suffer with such sadness and guilt after for years.

Have some time to think about it, I wish you all the luck in the world with everything happening in your life right now x

[Kempton in reply to JojoWash]

This is a really good response. Sums it up really. Show your partner understanding, but ensure he realises the impact a termination would have on you - and it would be mostly on you.

Hope you can find a resolution. Best of luck with all you are dealing with.

[Titemi2007]

OMG... this must be hard for you right now but I know u r tougher than all this problems. Give ur hubby more time but terminating the baby should never be an option. It might b rough initially but I’m optimistic that this baby will be a great blessing to ur family. May the lord strengthen you. All the very best!