It's been a while since I've posted, my boy has kept me busy these past few months. Now he is about to turn 1. My baby isn't really a baby anymore 😢 my second born & last baby growing up way to fast.
But it would seem he's not my last. 3 weeks ago I took a test & it was positive. I was in complete shock & it's taken me a few weeks to get my head round it.
So here I am, 7 weeks pregnant & feeling a bit overwhelmed at the thought of 2 under 2
Congratulations! My best friend had their first in May 2016. They unexpectedly fell pregnant but didn't know until she went for a kidney scan at 21 weeks pregnant! Their youngest son was born July 2017. Although it was hard work for them both, the boys are a similar age and now play together so well. They're such lovely boys. They always say they'd never change a thing x
Thank you.
Gosh that is close in age!! And they didn't find out until 21 weeks either!!
There's just so much to worry about. My oldest will have just turned 6, I already feel guilty about her brother taking up so much of my time. My son is quite demanding, I'm hoping it's something he will grow out of because it's exhausting. I'm a self employed childminder only just getting back into work & not really earning a great deal at the mo, so not able to put aside anything for mat leave again- which in itself is rubbish.
I am slowly coming round to the idea & have waves of excitement, but then I do bath time or something with 2 & think omg this is gonna be horrific with 3, & I just wonder what the hell im doing!!
It's a bit of a roller coaster
I know Hun. Everyone was shocked really! Went for the scan and said did you know you were pregnant? She nearly fell through the floor.
I know what you mean Hun. With their boys being a similar age, they did everything together. So they have bath time together and have done since their youngest was born.
I see what you mean with your eldest but if having this baby is something that you want to do then maybe make time for just you and her. Maybe a cinema date once a month or something. Just so she gets quality time too.
I'm sure you'll work out what's best for you Hun. Our friends found it hard but loved it. Especially now the boys are 2 and 3 so they play together x
I'm not sure I'd trust Joseph in the bath with another baby, he's crackers 😂
Thank you so much. Your reassurance means alot.
I know in the long run we will be fine. It's just very daunting x
I found out I was pregnant with my second a few weeks before my son's first birthday. We were trying so I was really happy, but I was a bit anxious about having two under 2.
Someone told me about this book and it's really made me feel so much less stressed. I really recommend it. It's called the second baby book, by Sarah Ockwell-Smith. Check it out. It covers the fears you might have and suggests ways to make it easier for your firstborn to adjust to life with another baby.
I'm due in less than 10 weeks and I'm so excited now. I can't guarantee my baby will be ok with the new baby in the house, but I feel more confident about my ability to make it less stressful for him, as well as my ability to cope as a mum to two young children.
Hope you have an easy pregnancy. It's been very tiring with my toddler, but I feel like it's preparation for life in the future.
Sorry should have said I know this isn't your second baby, but I think it's still helpful. Good luck.
Thank you so much. I'll definitely be looking into that book.
The age gap currently is 4.5 years so my daughter adapted so well to a sibling, along with the start of reception a few weeks later so there was a lot of change in such a short time. I'm so proud of her.
I'm not sure how Joseph will be. He's certainly not as chilled as his big sis, but although he's clingy at the mo, he's not possessive over me- I'm a childminder & he doesn't seem overly fussed about sharing me with others. So he could go either way lol
I wonder whether it’s a boy/girl thing. My daughter (No2) finds change easy. My firstborn, also called Joseph, finds it really hard.
Naa I don't think it's a boy/girl thing. My friends 5 year old adapted brilliant to both his siblings too, he was really protective over his first sister, used to get a bit upset with everyone holding her shouting that it was his baby lol
It’s beharre but in every way is my newborn the same as his brother and both are totally different to their sister!
I hope it goes smoothly. One of the things Sarah Ockwell-Smith stresses is that there shouldn't be any major changes to Joseph's life after you are 6 months gone or the newborn is 3 months old, otherwise they may come to associate that with the new baby and feel rejection. So nursery / changing into his own room, etc, should happen before or after that time.
Wishing you well.
Aww fab, thanks so much. I'll keep all that in mind xx
To be honest, I think it’s a bit of myth, the whole ‘2 under 2’ or ‘3 under 5’.
It really depends on the children and unless you have a huge age gap where your older ones are hugely older, it’s always going to be hard to have more than one. For example my 5 year old recently went through a (for him) emotionally difficult time and started to play up at school and wake up every single night. Yes I didn’t have to change his nappy and he can talk. But that doesn’t mean he can express himself at times, he still needs hugs, support, cuddles and reassurance.
My now 5 year old was 19 months old when my daughter was born. It was planned. It wasn’t easy as he absolutely hated her. “Baby to daddy”, he kept saying. He’s cry when she cried, he wanted to be carried etc etc. I thought it was because he didn’t understand and questioned whether we’d made the right decision. He slept well at night but obviously I had two at home, two in nappies and so on.
HOWEVER, three months ago we had baby No3. So my son is 5, and whilst he adores his baby brother, he again found it hard to deal with the change. Whilst he’s slept beautifully for years, aged 5 he is now coming through every night. So for us it didn’t make a difference whether the older one was still young or older, it was difficult to accept.
My Baby No2 is currently 4 and has adapted to No3 beautifully. No jealousy whatsoever, just a lot of love.
Having 3 kids? Not that easy at times, I won’t lie! No 3 is 3 months old, No2 currently quite sick and only mummynwill do, No1 feels neglected. I have NO idea who to prioritise as they all need me, but of course the baby really needs me...
So my older two are 19 months apart, currently 4 and 5, and whilst they can argue like hell, they have an amazing bond because they are so close in age. They’re close enough to have the same interests and play so much together! The early days? Not so easy, but like I said I think they never are, regardless of age. But now I’m happy they are so close in age and have this lovely friendship. They are like best friends. Poor No3 is 4 years younger than No 2. We lost a baby in January ‘18. The gap wasn’t meant to be that big, but it is what it is. But if I had the choice, I’d have them closer together in age. In the long run I think it’s a lot easier.
See there's 4 years between milly & Joseph, and it's been completely fine. He was born just before milly started in reception so even though I had to be organised for school runs, I still got time in the day 1-1 with Joseph which I've loved. So this is new territory for me. Although doing this job does give experience dealing with different age groups at once, but it's not quite the same as having your own as they don't all get picked up at 5pm 😂
We’ve got the same age gaps then, just me with No1+2 and you 3+4. My third will be exactly 5 months when my second starts Reception.
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