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Monster mother in law

Lauren95 profile image
11 Replies

Does anyone else not get on with there mother in law ? I’ve recently had an argument with mine over what she thinks is right and wrong I disagree with everything she does or says she hasn’t even tried to speak to me for the sake of her grandchild either ?

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Lauren95 profile image
Lauren95
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11 Replies
Annh17 profile image
Annh17

Hello

I haven’t got a close bond with my mother in law, never have had 1, even after 16years. She is the so nice and all my family is like she’s so cute and lovely, but we just don’t click.

Always polite too her and talk, but I can’t be bothered with her, I feel awful for it and I have got better over the years. I don’t know what it is either, she’s never done anything wrong too me, I just don’t know what it is x

Mummabear91 profile image
Mummabear91 in reply to Annh17

Always stand the ground hun. I let my ex mil walk all over me and my partner stuck up for

Me sometimes but he’s a real mummy’s boy and mummy can do no wrong in his eyes. She has ruined my self confidence and

Made me feel worthless for years, even said

I’m the reason my son had issues when he was little.

Lauren95 profile image
Lauren95 in reply to Mummabear91

My partner once choose to stay out drinking instead of coming home to look after his child as he was having her for the night and his mom shouted at me saying he had done nothing wrong ? I don’t understand how choosing alcohol over your child is thought to be ok in her eyes as a mother herself it baffles me my partner admitted it was wrong himself !

Kempton profile image
Kempton

I'm not especially close to my MIL. She's not a bad person, and neither am I, but we are just very different and I just don't gel with her. I mean my husband is great so she can't be all that bad, right.

When it comes to my child(ren) I don't need her advice and she can offer it but I won't take it if I don't think it's right for my kids. She kinda knows that too so she doesn't offer too much, thank goodness.

Try and patch things up with your MIL. It's not worth falling out as she's always going to be involved in your children's lives. Even if you have to be the bigger person, it's worth doing. Let her offer advice but be sure to tell her what you think is right for your kids. I mean they're yours at the end of the day so you'll be the one calling the shots!

Lauren95 profile image
Lauren95 in reply to Kempton

I’m not one to be the bigger person usually but I have actually messaged her and apologised I haven’t heard anything and that was over a week ago but my partner has said if she wants to see our daughter she will have to message x

Kempton profile image
Kempton in reply to Lauren95

It's good you have his support. Honestly I sometimes think older people think they can get away with acting like twits! She'll come around eventually when she realises she wants to see her grandchildren.

Sart24 profile image
Sart24

My mother in law is horrible. Before she even met me she formed horrible opinions of me and she’s just a vile person. Take no notice of her, not worth worrying over people like that they don’t change and at the end of the day it’s her that’s gonna regret it!

I wouldn't say I don't get on with mine because we definitely do, but with her - there are NO boundaries.

She thinks she can name my child once he's born, she waltzes into my house like she owns the place - and even cut her own keys without asking!!! - she walks in on me when I'm in the bath and comes to sit on the toilet to speak to me. I literally don't get a minute alone from her and feel totally trapped in my own house.

So sad that yours is the opposite though and doesn't make an effort, that must be hard :(

But definitely can relate to monster-in-laws!

JLew profile image
JLew

My mother in law is inconsistent. Sometimes she can be bothered to have her grandson. Other times she cannot be bothered. My partner loves his mum and cannot see her unreliability... Not just you, don't worry. She thought she always knew what was best for my child and she was super pushy with her ideas in the end I just said no I think this is best. Do not apologise for doing what's best for your child. She wanted to have my breastfed son overnight when he was a few weeks old. I said no. She told me to just pump as a result she is never going to have him overnight as she doesn't respect me as a mother. She keeps trying to force me to stop and says he is not screaming so he can wait for his bottle... X

AJBee profile image
AJBee

The thing is with these MIL's (or the majority I'm sure) is things (parenting mainly) was SOOOO different when they were raising babies their ideas are just so outdated and what they did when they had kids and babies just doesn't apply any more or even in some cases has been proved dangerous! I was thinking this just this morning. My MIL is in her 70s. Yes she's a mother of 3 but some of her 'suggestions' are a bit bonkers. I tend to agree with her point to her face and be like 'oo yes brilliant maybe we can try that' and then once she's gone, totally ignore it!

Im sorry you've having a tough time with your MIL Lauren, if it were me I'd be the bigger person and (certainly without actually apologising), would build that bridge, as you say, for the sake of the family, but very much stress the point thank you for your suggestions, however as their mum I know best and in going to go down this route. Easier said than done I'm sure! Good luck and just know that you're being a brilliant mum! Xx

Kh26 profile image
Kh26

I don't even have children and my mother in law really gets on my tits!! Xx

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