So my baby boy arrived a week today and I’m absolutely besotted with him. In love so much it hurts. I had a failed induction and then a c-section so just resting up at the moment.
On another note, any advice on mother in laws who can’t resist turning up unannounced, literally door bell goes and she’s at the door, no phone call or text! She turned up at 8.30 this evening😬😬 also telling me what to do,’ you should breast feed’ ‘what have you eaten today’ You should eat this and eat that! I nearly lost my rag tonight and when she left I spoke to hubby who just can’t see where I’m coming from and ended up with me crying my eyes out. I appreciate she’s excited as it’s her first grand child etc but I just want to find my feet and bond with baby my own way. Hubby just doesn’t get it 😬😬😬
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destiny121
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Huge congratulations on your little boy 💙 exciting times ahead for the 3 of you 😍
The mother in law is a tricky one. If I was in that situation I would have a chat with my hubby & agree to visiting hours with scheduled times . Right now you want to find your own feet. It’s meant well but I can see why you are feeling like that. I think after such a difficult time to get pregnant we want enjoy every second! I’m hoping others have better advice than mine it’s not a situation I’ve dealt with! I’m sure there is a way for everyone to be happy here, she will have an important part to play in your sons life you will be glad to have the support💗 Do whatever feels right for your precious baby you are his mummy & know what is best for him, trust your mummy instincts 💗🌟 Again congratulations on his safe arrival 💙 xoxo
Thx for your advice Jess... very much appreciated. I’m going to see how it goes over the next couple of weeks and maybe she’ll slow down on the visits... if not, then I will say something. Gosh... I thought getting pregnant and having a baby was the most important thing and I didn’t once think about what could happen after 😊😊how are you getting on? Xx
Amazing news!! Congratulations! Try and enjoy these precious moments and try to not let the mother in law get you down.
I think you should talk to your husband again and get him to tell his mother that she needs to ask you if it’s ok to come round/schedule in a time. Once you start getting into a routine you don’t want her rocking up that late! I mean, yes it would be lovely if she was being helpful but she clearly isn’t. 🙈
But, try not to let this get to you too much at this special time xxx
Congratulations! Perhaps you could use your MIL to your advantage. Could you say something like, "it's really nice of you to keep stopping by, it would be great if you could come at this time because....". I used to find I really needed to go back to bed and so my mum would come over at 8 am and I'd have a bottle of expressed milk ready. I'd go back to bed while she watched baby and she'd look after him and give him a feed when he wanted it. I could have a shower and eat something, have a hot cuppa, knowing baby was being tended to.
Get her to come when it suits you! And then if she can't fit in to help you out, either get your hubby to do it or just be clear and explain you are tying to find your own way and it's hard so please don't turn up unannounced. As for her offering advice, I think MILs are designed to p*ss you off so just nod and smile. Lol.
Wishing you all the best. Get as much rest as you can at the beginning when you have people watching baby. It'll really help with your recovery!
Congratulations! I certainly second having times when she’s ok to visit when it will be convenient for you (so not 8:30 at night! Now mine is 4 1/2 months I go to bed with her at 8pm to maximise sleep time so I certainly wouldn’t be entertaining visitors!) Give it a few weeks and she may find she ends up popping round when you are out taking baby for a walk and wasting her time if she doesn’t phone first. My MIL’s solution for everything is cooled boiled water 😋 x
Congratulations on your baby boy! My induction failed too and I had to have a c section. Our little girl is our world. On the MIL side I would suggest she kindly back off and let you enjoy your first child xx
Congratulations! Write a list of jobs that need doing and give them to your MIL next time she turns up, everything, washing up, folding the washing, tell her to bring a meal every time she comes... She wants to feel useful. X
My in laws are very pushy often saying things I should do instead. I have a similar problem. Just say you are going to start putting him down to bed at a certain time so they need be mindful of the time or ask before coming over.
They wanted my son now 15 weeks old. At 3 and 5 weeks old overnight and I breastfeed (now combi feed). They told me to just express and I said no night feeds are the best for supply and that I may as well stop breastfeeding because there is no point now (helps him a lot with bowel movements).
It is true when they people only opinion that matters is your own. Tell her I appreciate that, but this is working for me so I am going to continue with my routine. Also I would suggest saying he is in bed from 7pm or something and say you don't want any visitors after 5pm because you start setting him for bed. To be honest I am about to do the same because she brought him back at 9pm the other night...
Wow! Your MIL would do my head in! I think your husband really needs to tell her that she needs to make a time to come round. I couldn’t cope with unexpected guests.
In terms of her telling you what to do, try deflecting by turning the conversation to something else (eg oh did my husband have long eyelashes when he was a baby etc etc) rather than responding to her well-meaning but unwanted advice.
I know exactly how you feel with the MIL situation. We live with my MIL and I’m due in 3 weeks. I’m all for help and advice but it’s got to the point where I’m being told how I should raise my baby when she gets here. Things I should definitely not be doing, for example I shouldn’t just breastfeed as it’s not good when you stop and go onto bottles. I thanked her for the “advice” and told her I would breastfeed anyway and she didn’t like that I had my own opinion on the matter and stormed out.
I always have comments made towards me about what I eat and drink, for example I have a craving to eat ice. So I normally have my breakfast and a glass of ice & water and she will always make some kind of comment about how that isn’t good enough....
it makes me feel worthless honestly. But at the same time, this isn’t her baby. Just the same way your little one is YOUR little one. You need to set boundaries even if hubby doesn’t understand. My partner is a mummy’s boy so I can’t say anything without him sticking up for her so I know how you feel! Just tell her yourself how you feel as difficult as it may seem. You’ll feel better for it xxxx
Congratulations!! How amazing. Enjoy every second 💙 I’m expecting a boy due in July and I think my mother in law is going to be exactly the same. She already fusses round me and I hate/don’t need fuss! X
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