Mood during pregnancy

[kirstyblue]

Hi,

I am 18+5. My moods are absolutely awful at the moment and I am so short tempered. I’m not very tolerant of people at all and I’m worried soon its going to start to show around people. It took us around 2 years to fall pregnant and I think it’s made me feel very bitter..and I know that I now finally have my happy ending but I still feel bitter about what I went through to get here. I really hope I don’t upset anyone as I do think of myself as lucky to fall with first round of ivf and I know some people go through a much tougher time.

My outlook on life has changed and I feel I have changed but my personality isn’t as happy and sociable as I used to be.. does anyone else feel this way? X

[destiny121]

Hi my lovely.... I’m not sure what to say to this tbh as I too fell with my second cycle of ivf. I think the worry and anxiety never leaves us and the pain of infertility will stay with me forever. However, I have felt the total opposite and I’m so happy and feel like I’m getting back to how I was before infertility. I just want to say enjoy your pregnancy.... you’ve done it..... it’s over.... your baby will be here soon. Perhaps when your holding your lil bundle of joy your short temper and bitterness will go away I’m sure of it. Relish in your pregnancy... be happy because your nearing the end of the battle. Xxx

[kirstyblue in reply to destiny121]

Thank you for your message. Your so right and I should just snap out of it. I don’t want to drive friends away by my negativity. I think also as well before my ivf I used to party alot and it’s silly but I feel like I’m trying to prove that things are so different now and I’m ready to be a family. Sounds silly I know xx

[destiny121 in reply to kirstyblue]

I think our journey changes us and we look at life more seriously. But life is so precious we need to enjoy our selves... so once baby comes and you’re comfortable you can start going out again and enjoying yourself. I remember partying and thinking I have nothing to go home to accept my partner.... but soon very soon and I can go out enjoy myself and look forward to going home to see my lil one. All my friends had children already so I always felt empty... but look forward to what’s ahead of you and you’ll soon have that spring in your step. Seriously, I think ivf and fertility makes us more serious, we don’t take things for granted and perhaps that makes us better people.... but don’t forget to live a little xxx

[kirstyblue in reply to destiny121]

That’s so true. I should be making the most of not having responsibly for the next few months. Definitely going to take this all on board. I hope your doing okay x

[EvaK82 in reply to kirstyblue]

I think it’s ok to be a little low and sad/ serious for a little while - especially when going through life changing events. Be open to your good friends about it and they will understand. If they were to be this easily driven away then perhaps the friendship was a little shallow to start with? xx

[KittyK]

I felt the same when I fell pregnant with my daughter with our third cycle. I was very bitter, I tried not to be but I did get my moments. Also when she was born I had such bad depression, everything I felt I was doing wrong and was like "I tried so hard to get this, why aren't I a better mum" and things like that. I think the journey we've been through it's to be expected but just try your hardest to remain positive, that's my advice. If I let that cloud take me over it always made me feel worse so try to catch yourself if you can xxx

[kirstyblue in reply to KittyK]

Thank you for your message. Seem like you were pretty hard on yourself but that’s so understandable. I hope your doing okay now. X

[KittyK in reply to kirstyblue]

Im in a much better place now. I do still have relapses but it does get better. Don't beat yourself and think you're alone in this you aren't xxx

[MissSaoPaulo]

Hi hon. Like you, I was lucky enough to get pregnant from the first round of IVF but it was a long struggle to get there and the scars will stay with us even though we're well on the way to getting our dream now.

Don't put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way, that'll only make you feel frustrated. You're pregnant and hormones are all over the place so bear that in mind too. Are you feeling the baby yet? I'm just a little bit behind you and I still haven't felt anything but I do think that will be a bit of a game changer in how anxious we are feeling about the baby in there and maybe that's something that has been contributing to your short temper?

[kirstyblue in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thank you. Definitely going to blame the hormones. I haven’t yet felt movement but I don’t even know if I will realise that’s what it is when it does happen. How many weeks are you? X

[MissSaoPaulo]

Being pregnant is great, you can blame everything on hormones and get out of doing stuff you don't want to- or is that just me? Hahaha

I'm 17+6, just a week behind you and looking forward to the next scan xxx

[kirstyblue in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Haha that is so true. When’s your scan? Mines on 7th! Can’t wait to find out the sex! Are you going to find out? X

[MissSaoPaulo in reply to kirstyblue]

Haven't booked it yet but I'm seeing my Dr in week 19 and scan in week 20, so in just over 2 weeks. I think mine's a boy and I'm talking to him/her like a boy so I really need to find out for definite before I get much further along!!

[kirstyblue in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

What makes you think boy? We also think We’r having a boy. In fact I will be so soo shocked if they say girl. Everyone seems to be guessing boy for us x

[MissSaoPaulo in reply to kirstyblue]

I just have a feeling, maybe because like you everyone is saying boy and also on the 12 week scan I think it looked like my OH (maybe just cos of the big head!!). I will be really surprised too if mine's a girl and that's why I want to find out so I can change the chip before he/she gets here

[kirstyblue in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Can’t wait to see if We’r right 😊 I also can’t help but refer to bump as “he” “him” etc.

Did you have any sickness? X

[MissSaoPaulo in reply to kirstyblue]

Not much, felt a bit of nausea now and again but was never actually sick - very lucky. People say you get more sick with a girl don't they

[ChrisWest1983 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Nearly 100% of people during the early scan think they saw boys bits as genitals are swollen.x

[MissSaoPaulo in reply to ChrisWest1983]

My mother in law was convinced she saw a willy in the scan pictures but it was the other leg!!! I just think the profile and head shape looked quite masculine and looked like my husband but all the proportions will change so much I know that's not a guide to what baby will look like.

I live in Brazil and in Portuguese the words for embryo, foetus and baby are all masculine so when I'm speaking Portuguese I say 'he' and 'him' by default and I wonder if that's influencing me too...

[laurafig]

Last week I had such a temper tantrum because I was stressed with my work but I also think it was heightened with my hormones. I have nothing to feel angry about but I was fuming that one of my clients was telling me how busy they were and another going on holiday. Haha.

I’m 20 weeks and I have hardly felt any teary emotions so i’m sure I’ll have more mood swings to come.

Take a breather and laugh it off... you're going to have a baby and they’re going to love you! Nothing else matters. 💓

[kirstyblue in reply to laurafig]

Thank you for your message 💗 it’s not just me then haha. I came home from work tonight and could have cried just over how tired I felt 🙈 I hope your having a better week so far x

[Sfarre]

I have to say YES to feeling the same way you are describing! I've been pretty hard to be around lately, due to being so moody/hormonal/blooming tired! My OH yesterday complained that I'm always glaring at him now lol. I don't mean to be like that, but the fatigue and pregnancy symptoms are a bit of a shocker! It's really a struggle to get through each day, and isn't the second trimester meant to be the easier part??? I do feel a tad bit of resentment about having to do the IVF, with all of what that brought -- including the OHSS which still remains a factor. I think it is natural to feel a bit bitter about the whole thing - the process is hard, and infertility is unfair when so many couples only have to look at each other before falling pregnant. I also don't love knowing that having a second baby is definitely going to cost us upwards of £4k as well...

Honestly, I find what people say to often be quite irritating / mildly offensive as well. I keep getting told to 'enjoy the pregnancy' and 'make the most of being pregnant'? I mean...what does that even mean, I am genuinely quite puzzled! Obviously I am delighted and happy to be having a baby finally, but I don't find much about pregnancy very enjoyable. Between the nausea, abdominal pain, pelvic pains, insomnia, headaches, heartburn etc etc...pregnancy is bloody hard work! I also hate it when people say that 'well if you think you're tired now, wait until you have a newborn'. These statements feel like little digs sometimes.

But hey, at least its a temporary state. I have a feeling that once it is over and the baby is here, your personality and mood will go back to where it was before. My fingers are crossed that mine does!

[EvaK82 in reply to Sfarre]

I totally agree on the digs - or at least I perceive most comments as digs, as well meant as they are! But for some reason, everyone has opinions about everything and feels like they have the right to get involved!! I hate judgemental behaviour but for some reason pregnancy really attracts it and the “whole village” gets involved — must be in our tribal genes 😅

[EvaK82]

I’m 18+5 exactly like you and I am snappy and short fused and impatient and raise my voice quickly 😳🙈

I conceived naturally and quickly but my whole pregnancy has been accompanied by pain; mild sciatica and severe sickness first, then Severe sciatic making me bed bound and requiring strong opiate therapy and spinal injections.

I thought it’s the drugs but I think it’s also the hormones and the facts that I feel like I have to go through all of this and don’t have the time to waste my little energy on people too lazy to think or look for things themselves but Constantly needing me to get involved. The main people getting the brunt are my husband who seems very helpless without me, and my mother who asks me how I am multiple times a day and whether I have come of the pain meds yet — as if chronic things like this change overnight and as if I fancy taking opiates while pregnant...

And here you see how quickly I get ranting again 😅

I’m banking on the fact that once we delivered those cute babies 👶🏼 end of July that all will be forgiven and forgotten 😜