I’m 18 week pregnant and this week I’ve been rather worried about the birth. Mainly pain.
How painful is it?
I had pretty awful period pains when I had a coil fitted I was doubled over with pain, is it like really bad period pain or just far worse?
Is this normal to feel like this ?
Congratulations, I’m pregnant with 1st baby 27 weeks tomorrow. I have had this worry aswell. I have got into my head, it’s gonna hurt, so I’ve kinda come round to how much it’s gonna hurt, it’s the amount of time I could be in labour for that worries me the most. My mum was is labour with me for nearly 27 hours, I can’t be dealing with pain that long x
Yeah my sister was in labour for three days before they did a c section. I def don’t want Liam to last that long!
I think it is quite natural to worry about it though...
Oh definitely, everyone says the 1 thing you never forget is how painful it is. But as soon as you hold your baby, that feeling goes away. But then some people don’t feel a thing when giving a birth, I suppose it’s just 1 of those things, that is strong women have to cope with. I’m planning on only having gas and air, I know nearer the one I will be panicking. x
It’s definitely normal to feel like this but as soon as you hold baby in your arms you’ll completely forget about it. I wanted another one after a few months and I’m such a wuss when it comes to pain xx
I’m not too bad with pain, but the longer it goes on the worse I get lol x
You really cant tell one birth from the next.
My first birth was 22hrs, most of which was at home then a hospital birthing pool and the last 1 hr on pethadine. I couldn’t tolerate the gas and air it was making the room spin.
It is worth mentioning that I had practiced hypno birthing throughout pregnancy and had the cd playing throughout labour. As I felt the need to prepare myself for labour - I was bricking it!
My second was completely different, I was induced with a pessary and labour pains were constant throughout the 9 hours of labour. I couldn’t have the birthing pool in this labour and couldn’t get into the hypno birthing either in pregnancy or labour - however I was sucking on that gas and air like a mad woman, and couldn’t of done it without it.
Personally I definitely rated the hypno birthing, it helps you think about labour in a positive can do way. I brought a cd from amazon, maggy something.
And it is completely true that as soon as you give birth the pain just stops, and it’s like ‘I can’t believe you are finally here!’
Good luck ladies xxx
I have found the positive birthing company’s online pack incredibly helpful and if you buy it (About £30) you also get access to a private fb group full of positive birth stories x
Ahh man it’s hurts like hell not going to lie contractions are the worse pain I find it hard to breath I had gas & air and pethidine, pethidine is good but can’t still feel the contractions but chills you between. Births are different my first was really awful but second was pretty easy compared. I’m not looking forward to it either tbh but you have to just do it.
Hun, it hurts! There's no running away from that 🙈 but we all handle the pain differently. Neither of my labours have been particularly bad. My first was an induction, so quite intense fairly quickly. Pethidine helped at the beginning but after that wore off I was fine on gas & air. Second was natural labour with just gas & air. Breathing techniques really helped me too x
There's no denying it's extremely painful... however I was talking about having more babies within 24hrs of my little one coming into the world so Id say its very manageable!
Get yourself a tens machine and have a read about hypnobirthing. Worked wonders for me. You have loads of time to get yourself prepared. Gas and air is also pretty great! Women do it all over the world every single day and go on to have more children - you'll be fine 
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.
If the idea of labour is worrying you I would really recommend hypnobirthing. I did it and I can honestly say I didn't feel giving birth hurt. It was definitely hard work, more like exercise than anything else. I just used a tens machine at the early stages then in active labour just the pool as gas and air made me vomit.
I have to say I was quite cynical of hypnobirthing to start with but I think it really helped. I am normally the most pathetic person with any pain but I had no problems giving birth.
I start my mums to be course next week and we go over hypnobirthing, I def like the sound of that!
Do it, it’s a game changer!
So main thing every labour is different and every person tolerance to pain is different. Labour also depends on position on baby how small/big it is and lots other things I imagine, your midwife or sessions for pre labour preparation should give you an idea.
I can only speak from own experience. I’ve declined any pain killers during labour (I think I have high pain tolerance) and chosen only gas and water birth.
First stage of the labour can be painful, it started to me like mild period pains and I was managing them for a quite a few hours. Of course the more into labour you are the more painful is and worst to me was after 6-7hrs when I’ve started to open cervix for baby to be able to get out, at this point I was very tired and in so much pain...(no more details as I don’t want to scare you 😀). You progressively adjust to a pain after few hours so might be bearable to you too. But as soon as this part finished to me the midwife moved me to birthing centre and I was given gas and was able to get into pool. At this stage I’ve managed pain much better and did not need even my hubby to help which I was surprised about! This was then start off different type of pain where you encouraged to push baby out😁
I think all in all is absolutely wonderful experience it’s painful but you forget about it soon after baby arrive (I’m talking about my own experience only). My labour was 12hr
Good luck hun, you can do it. If you scared of pain you can get some painkillers they’ll help you but most of all trust your midwifes and dr they know what they do 😘
I’ve had three relatively long, induced labours (36 hours, 3 days!! And 7 hours). All were painful, all were manageable on gas and air (just- was getting tough towards 8-10 cm). The last one was back to back as well. There are a few things which helped:
- i’m Sporty and although I know others find it used, hypnobirthing didn’t appeal. However, a book called ‘birth skills’ by Juju Sundin has got me through. It covers distraction techniques and movement which are simple and allow you to focus on them to help block out the pain. There’s a real emphasis on healthy pain, like when you’re working out - this is a large muscle working, doing it’s job to get your baby out. It empowers you to act like a bit of a fool, stomping or shouting to get bigger than the pain. I found it useful
- you might be in labour for hours or days, but you won’t be in pain for all or even much of it. There is no pain in the gaps between contractions and you have to make the most of the gaps to rest
- your body is amazing; it’s built to do this. You will go into yourself in labour. You can hear other people and hold a conversation, but you’re not really with them, you’re concentrating on you and the baby
- midwives are also amazing and will talk you through everything: let you know what’s going on, get you in good positions and generally be awesome
- do your research, write a birth plan that covers everything (speak to your midwife), think about all the eventualities you don’t want to happen, inductions and c- sections included. If you’ve thought about what you want you can be in control, even when things don’t go to plan
Good luck xx
Long reply- sorry!
The thing about birth is that every woman's experience of it is different. You can ask 'how bad is it?' but no-one can answer that question for you... let's just focus on the science of a natural (unmedicated) birth-
So during labour, our bodies are pumping out oxytocin in huge amounts, it's the hormone of love, what's released when we hug or (in larger amounts) at the point of orgasm (a man-made version 'syntocynin' or 'syntometrine' is the injection women are given to induce labour). When we get scared, however, we produce adrenaline- the opposite of oxytocin- and this blocks the effects of the lovely oxytocin. This could go quite a long way towards explaining why some women experience longer, more difficult labours. For most of our history as the human race, we would have given birth in the early hours of the morning (because we're diurnal-daytime animals: nocturnal animals tend to give birth during the day) in our cave, surrounded by other women-let's be honest, the men are unlikely to wake up unless forced to!😂 So it would've been a warm, dark and familiar atmosphere and under these circumstances a woman's body is able to work at its prime. For many hours contractions can be similar to period pains, building gently in strength and feeling but remember, our amazing bodies give us those little breaks in between. Even at the end, when strong contractions are coming close together, there is always a little time to catch your breath in between.
Understanding what is going on with your body can help you to cope as well. During the first stage- this is the bit that can last for a long time- the contractions are working hard to flatten and pull open your cervix. The more relaxed you can remain during these first hours, the better. If you are awoken by contractions then it's best to try to get a bit more sleep if possible. When they get too intense to rest then moving around can help. I danced to reggae for several hours when having my third and then felt really hungry, ate a big yummy lunch and then the contractions really intensified! It was as though my body was waiting gor some fuel to push on through the final stretch.
So, somewhere you feel safe, movement and maybe some food, if you feel like some are three things that can help you through the first part of your labour. Towards the end of the first stage (i.e. when you're cervix is a good few centimetres dilated) the contractions will become closer together and stronger and this will be the time to head to hospital, if that's where you choose to have your baby. It's worth noting here that at home remains the safest place for low-risk mothers to birth their babies and even if your choice is a hospital birth there's no reason not to stay in your home until you feel you can't cope there any longer. The best thing about planning for a home birth is that you'll have two midwives with ypu constantly- even if they decide to transfer you to hospital for whatever reason, they'll come with you, meaning that you get a continuity of care that will be unlikely in a hospital setting.
When your contractions are coming quick and fast, if you've managed to get this far without medication, you should enter a state of consciousness sometimes referred to as 'labour land' and it's similar to when we're about to fall asleep. At some point it's natural to feel like you really can't do it aby more- like there's no way you can get this tiny human out of your body and like you want to give up but hold on-this is hopefully what's known as 'transition' while the super contractions work to pull your cervix open those last few centimetres, providing the exit for your little one. This is when gas and air can be most helpful-particularly if you've managed to get this far without any medication. It's amazing for taking your mind off the next contraction and allowing you to feel a bit numb in between. This is also the time that many women (particularly in a hospital setting) will seek out pethidine but if you can just hold out a bit longer then you'll soon be meeting your baby and those first few hours post-birth will be so much more memorable and exciting if you (and your baby) haven't taken any opiates. Pethidine is only meant to be administered if there are likely to be several hours left of labour(to give baby time to work it through their system a bit so they're not born 'smacked up' which can make it difficult to rouse them for feeds and effects the chances of successful breast feeding being established) and yet the time when you want it most is right before your baby arrives! So once your cervix has been fully opened by these incredible and powerful contractions, and when you feel like you're almost broken, the contractions change direction and now, instead of pulling your cervix open, they start to push your baby out and you feel overwhelmed by the need to help. And so you will. With every sinew of your body and working at 'peak woman' you will go through the incredible experience of birth and at the same moment that your baby is born, a mother will be born. And the rush that you will feel -whatever your birth experience has been like- will be the most indescribable sensation you've ever felt.
The things to remember are that you are a woman, we are incredible, and you can do this. Every woman in your ancestry has successfully birthed at least one child or you wouldn't be here. Interventions genrally lead to more interventions so being induced, having a stretch and sweep (if you're overdue), having your waters broken, all of these things make an instrumental birth (forceps) or a caesarean more likely. And whilst it's wonderful that these interventions are available to us should we NEED them, steer clear unless yoy're told they're absolutely necessary because stitches or major abdominal surgery isn't the easiest start to the roller coaster that is motherhood.
I second all of the comments above about hypnobirthing and if you're really nervous and can afford it then I'd highly recommend looking into having a doula. Look around for someone who you feel comfortable with and she can help you through your labour, offering words of encouragement and helping you not to feel alone in the most difficult moments. As wonderful as men can be at this most sacred, most vulnerable time, it feels very natural to have other women there with you.
You can do this, you are a woman and you will find strength you never knew you had. I wish you and all other first time Mums the best of luck- you can do this!
Of course it hurts. But it's so worth it. I laboured for 14 hours and it was hard work. I only had gas and air (it made me sick but I still carrier on with it)
I literally can't remember the pain though. The the extent that my boy is 5 months old and I am 9 weeks pregnant again 🤦
The hardest part for me was actually the tiredness. I laboured through the night so I was absolutely exhausted by the time I started pushing.
Honestly though, it's a scary thought but try not to stress about it as the more you stress, the bigger an ordeal it will become.
My biggest worry was 3rd degree tears but my boy was 8lb 5 and I didn't tear at all. Again every woman's body is different but for me it was a completely unnecessary worry!
Try not to think about it too much!! I’m not going to lie, it was bad I can’t even describe the pain, people described it to me like period pains and they lied! I was induced with my daughter with the drop so I never got a build up of contractions so I hope it was just that, but you know what even though it was bad I do it over and over again as having kids is one of the best things and my daughter has changed my life for the better. Also there are plenty of pain relief options and they don’t make you suffer through the pain if you can’t cope so don’t think you’ll just be helpless for hours xxxxxxxx
Everyone is different...
Just to say, a quick birth doesn’t have to mean less pain. My second came within 16 minutes. But this also meant that i had to dilate from 2cm to 10cm in 16 min. I thought I was dying, literally. I just thought just let it be over.
I’m usually good with pain and I’m also someone who doesn’t want to cause a fuss but my husband confirmed that I was screaming as if I were about to die.
As she came so quickly there was no time for pain relief and I ripped all over the place... I was still bleeding going to the loo 4 months later... every time I had to go ‘properly’ it ripped open again.
Having said all that, I’ve always wanted two kids. And yet, the moment I held my daughter in my arm I thought “oh a third might be nice...”. That thought never went away and I’m currently expecting No3.
I won’t lie, I’m shitting myself about birth. Both experiences have been traumatic for me, my firstborn got stuck and my placenta didn’t come out either...
I’ll be looking into hypnobirthing soon. Both mine came quite quickly, no idea how quickly No3 will make his entrance!
It really depends on your birth. My 1st and only birth was 44 hours and she was back to back. I originally planned to have gas and air. However with back to back 1st birth you tend to be slow to progress and they wont let you have anything until 4cm. So for the first 18 hours managed with cocodamol, next 17 with cocodamol plus my husband hired a tens machine from tesco. Then I told my midwife I was going to kill myself as I couldn't put up with the pain anymore. So she examined me and said I was 4cm. She recommended an epidural as I couldn't even walk due to the agony. Suddenly, gas and air was given to me while the anaesthetist was on his way (I still had the tens machine on my back until the last moment). I ended up needing a spinal as I have hypermobility syndrome so anesthetics don't work properly on me, but it was a big relief. In all honesty having such a painful birth, which was continuous-no break between contractions-made the 1st month difficult to bond with my daughter. Plus I couldn't breastfeed as my body didn't produce milk either. I can remember the pain like it was an hour ago and my little girl is 6 and a half. I'd never have another unless I'd be guaranteed a c section.
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