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Pointless Inductions

I'm writing this as my poor wife is next to me on a ball having contractions in a ward full of people making noise!

Her pregnancy has been trouble free, but due to her age,42, its a donor ivf pregnancy and its her first, they have been itching to get her induced.

At our last midwife appt, everything looked normal and we were booked to see the doctor at 40+2. He basically scared my wife into booking an induction if a sweep didn't get things going. He did a sweep (nothing happened) and the next morning we went to the hospital for our induction. She's in perfect health, the baby is too, but tickboxing dictates you induce for ivf/mature mums.

We've been on a crowded ward with hardly no room, lots of light and noise for 2 days now, she had a pessary when we arrived and a second one, 24 hours later. Thats seemed to really kicked things off, we see the doctor (hopefully) this afternoon for the next steps.

My wife really wanted a natural birth, midwife led, water birth, all that's out of the window.

I just wish we had stuck with our guns, we foolishly thought we'd be in our room, the hospital made a big thing on its tour of all these private rooms in the labour ward and told us as long as their was no complications we could use one of their special water birth rooms complete with calming wall covered pictures.

My wife has never been ill, never stayed a night in hospital and I'm desperately trying to make this a good experience, but its impossible. At one point last night we were locked in the bathroom, her in the bath, listening to calming music , me sat next to a toilet , trying to make this a 'magical experience' from a nightmare.

This morning a pregnant teenager is opposite her with her mate and I've had to talk to them twice to stop shouting as they call their mates on facetime.

How the hell is putting women in crowded antenatal wards going to help them feel safe and relaxed and speed along labour?? The attitude seems to be, the drugs will do all the work, which is a crazy attitude to something women have been doing for thousands of years.

If we had even the slightest idea it would be like this, we would have stayed home and taken the 1 in thousands risk of going past due past and wait for our baby to come naturally.

Unless literally the mother and baby is in dire medical danger, why the hell do the NHS keep pushing women to be induced just a day or 2 past their due date, especially if they have to end up with a nightmare experience like this. i wouldn't wish the last couple of days on my worst enemy.

We would just have refused and waited till she was in full labour and just gone in, sure give regular checks after due date, but it seems to make a medical problem out of nothing.

rant over lol!!!

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I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m 40 and going to be discussing induction with my consultant at my 36 week check up today. I know there is a greater risk of stillbirth at my age but you’ve given me some good questions to ask, eg whether I can still have a water birth if I just have a pessary (my community midwife seemed to think only a drip stops this) and whether I can go home after pessary is inserted rather than stay on the ward. Thank you for posting as you’ve clarified some of the questions I’ll be asking. I hope your wife is transferred to a private delivery room soon x

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Hi, yes, we were told the same, but since we've checked in, it seems like getting a drip is a certain thing: 24 'allowed' for 1st pessary to work, 24 hours 'allowed' for 2nd, then onto breaking the waters and drip

- also you are very wise to get assurances you can go home if you get a pessary, we aren't 'allowed' to go home, and had to stay in what feels like a warzone.

And that's the thing, they made it sound on our 40+2 meeting that unless we go in for an induction, we were reckless , which is of course nonsense. We were so geared up for her due date, I think the 2 days overdue knocked our confidence and 'doctor knows best'.

If we had been allowed home after the first pessary and now the second one given yesterday, it would have made a huge difference. My poor wife is trying to get the contractions going in a busy, loud atmosphere with little privacy, the exact opposite atmosphere what the very same hospital advise you to be in to go into labour, the antenatal classes kept banging on about not going to the hospital early in labour and home was best, blah blah.

In your discussion with the consultant I would raise all this, at the very least assuming (which I'm sure you will be) all looks good at 40weeks+, they'll just monitor you and induce when you reach say 42 weeks. If we were at 42 weeks, I think we could take all this much better, but the back of mind both sets of our parents think 40+3 days is bloody early be induced because the text book says so, and theirs actually no danger to baby

Best of luck

xxx

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Oh dear. What a horrible experience for you both after everything you have been through. I hope it changes soon and you are shortly at home with your little bundle of joy xx

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thank u! I'm so glad your scan went well, looking forward to hearing of your healthy delivery in a few months !

xx

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Thank you. I do hope your wife is ok? Any further movement or improvement yet? Xx

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Thanks for your concern. Thanks goodness its got a bit more sane on the ward now, a few people have gone this morning and we finally have empty beds all around us, so its nice to talk without knowing everyone can hear, and us hearing them with their bloody visitors -

She's having pretty regular contractions and the doctor is due to examine here in a a few hours, if she decides to break waters we'll go straight to our own room in labour ward, if my wife is dilated enough, its the same, so the midwives think we should be out of here (into our own space) at some point today.

She's doing brilliantly considering the circumstances, eye mask and headphones and massages from me, trying to protect her from all this negativity.

xxxx

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You are a great husband to wifey. Trying to make it as comfortable for her as possible and standing your ground when you need to. It wont be long now when the both of you can enjoy your little one at home and put this horrid hospital experience behind you. Thanks for the update and keep us posted.

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So sorry to hear of your experience at the hospital Billy. I hope they get their act together and give your Mrs a private room. Thats disgusting. Its stupid how the hospitals give tours at week 28 or something when you have to make a choice well before that as to which hospital you want to give birth in. Good luck to you both with the birth. Hopefully your miracle will make an entrance really soon

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Thanx so much!

And congrats on your good news, hope you have a stress free pregnancy and a peaceful delivery of your baby!

xxx

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I should add the midwives here are doing their best and the doctors covering a large number of ladies are also. I did complain and they explained my wife has to be in full labour to get into the labour ward.

I'm just a bit miffed that our consultant played the stillbirth card and scared my wife into agreeing to induction, although both baby and mother were in perfect health, but baby had dared to go 2 days past her due date.

When we arrived at the hospital we were geared up to go to the labour ward, not a crowded maternity ward where there are babies a day old with mothers recovering, some mums in pre-term with problems and everything in-between.

Especially as my wife's birth plan states how she wants things as natural as safely possible, being a IVF mum over 40 in itself is not a medical emergency.

Thanks for your support, its good to see names I know from the fertility site, and wishing you all the best for whatever stage of journey you're at.

xx

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What a shame you both felt pressured into doing this. My hospital have left it down to me to decide whether or not I have an induction. They are happy to monitor me and not do anything unless the baby or I are at risk. It seems to vary so much from hospital to hospital. It must be really tough for you both waiting for something happen in such an un-calming environment, and I'm sorry I can't offer any words of wisdom. I really hope things progress soon and you can get onto the labour ward. Also, thanks for highlighting this - I'm sure it will help other women to decide what to do if they are faced with the same dilemma.

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Thanks Jojo.

xxx

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Sorry to hear you feel you’ve been led to make a decision that wasn’t the right one for you. My advice is going to be based on still getting an experience she’s comfortable with now. If you’re not happy with her treatment you definitely should feed this back to the department in due course but I’d recommend for now concentrating on how to help her feel comfortable and in control rather than thinking about what could have been.

1) It depends how it’s going. If she’s had a couple of pessaries and her waters haven’t spontaneously broken, you might be able to get her the option of going home to rest. They don’t like people to go home with the pessaries in as they prefer to monitor baby after carrying out an intervention. I had two lots of 2 pessaries and 2 gels before they were even able to break my waters(!) but I did go home between the cycles ie after 2 pessaries and a gel and also went home for a day before they broke my waters. This was the best thing I could have done as I was rested and ready for labour. At this point I even discussed doing home and waiting to see if spontaneous labour started rather than getting waters broken however I did choose to come back for waters breaking.

2) If the above isn’t appropriate, get off the ward if you can. They might want you to stay in the hospital but even getting to the hospital cafe if there is one is away from the ward and might be more relaxing. I was a bit naughty and went out for dinner and to an art gallery with my pessaries in but I was in a city centre hospital so these places were literally just over the road. I work at the hospital too so was very familiar with how to get back to the ward.

3) Speak to the staff about wireless monitoring if she would like to be mobile during labour. I only really laid on the bed for intermittent monitoring and for the final stages of labour to help get baby out as it was taking a while and he was getting a bit distressed. She should get a private room once her waters have broken naturally or if they are artificially broken.

4) Have you done hypnobirthing? If so, use it. Don’t think that because she’s getting induced things like that have gone out the window. I used it and it really helped. My midwife couldn’t believe how calm I was (no screaming or shouting to waste my energy) and I was able to avoid an epidural which was something I really did not want.

Hope you take this advice as it’s intended which is how to make the best of a situation that you’d hoped not to find yourself in (I’m not saying you’re wrong to question whether this was the right decision). Easy for me to say as I had no desire for a water birth, always planned to give birth in hospital and am very comfortable in a hospital environment, but even though I had a week being induced and ended up with a ventouse & episiotomy (which I obviously would’ve preferred not to have) I’m totally happy with how things turned out. I think that’s because I still felt in control with my hypnobirthing and wireless monitoring.

Good luck. Hopefully you’ll get to meet your little one really soon! x

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Also we did do a hypnobirthing course, its the only thing keeping her sane, the tapes from the course, the music, we even set up lights around the bed ( bit useless as lights are on everywhere.

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This is great advice, and timely as we've just come back from a light walk around the hospital and the grounds, we're just waiting for the doctor and I will go through all these points, basically either we're going to our room or going home.

Thanks again, I'm just showing your reply to my wife.

Many thanks

xxx

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Hi yes that is quite a rant. I’m mature and ivf and was induced and wanted everything natural. But actually what I wanted more than anything was my baby delivered safe - whilst frustrating an induction at 40 weeks prevents the risk of the placenta failing. It’s a small risk but having gone through all that to get where you are why would you risk it?

Speaking truthfully labour is a lottery and it all depends on what cards you are dealt. Some get the water birth and music and some have to go to hell and back to get the job done. The NHS are stretched and it’s available for everyone from all walks of life - the teenagers have every right to be there.

It sounds to me like you have an amazing situation going on and you are being well cared for and very soon your bundle of joy will be in your arms and that’s all that matters. Wishing you and your wife all the best.

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Do you know what the evidence of placenta failing in a healthy pregnancy for a woman aged 40 between 40 and 42 weeks?? The midwife here told me moments ago it’s a joke that my wife is here, it’s exactly the teenager I worry about , we are taking up beds for a risk that is insignificant

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There is a link between ivf and placenta failing. Your consultant should have shared details of the scientific evidence.

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Hi Dolly,

I hope I didn't come off as reckless or arrogant. I agree for IVF and women over 40 there are risks that increase. I think my point is we went along with our consultant and shoved in a ward where most of the women are not being induced, we were stupid in not researching enough when we agreed to be induced ( that we would not be in a labour ward with a dedicated midwife, own room, etc, but a ward with women who are pregnant and ill, just had their babies AND are being induced.

I agree everyone's labour can go from a waterbirth dream to a bloody nightmare, but the point is my wife isn't in labour, she is trying to get into labour by the doctors and midwives, the best place for this ( universally understood) is a calm atmosphere. And we've been here since Saturday and as she cries behind a curtain with the noise, complete lack of privacy, all they can offer is more drugs and upping the ante.

I'm not against anyone taking the medical advice to be induced, but it makes sense (to me) these women should be in labour wards, our hospital has space in the labour ward, but a 4cm dilated entry bar!

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Have you asked for a private room? Be pushy and offer to pay for one.

Your wife will soon be in labour and if anything like me, being induced can cause problems so it’s safer to be at arms length from the deliver rooms. My babies heart rate dropped very suddenly and had my waters broke within minutes.

It’s all frustrating and uncomfortable unless you pay to go to a lovely private hospital.

I really hope you get there smooth and safe and soon :)

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Thanks Dolly, they wanted to break her waters and have one more night in the crowded ward as she wasn't really progressing with labour from two pessary over the last few days. As it was gone 4pm and there were no private rooms ( we asked about this from day 1) they wanted us to stay one more night and come up in the morning to the labour ward for breaking waters ( we couldnt sleep in the labour ward neither, due to staff) so we went home. We'll be back first thing as we're booked, they weren't happy, but we live pretty much next to the hospital.

I totally understand what you're saying, but mothers instinct is important and my wife in the very least needed a nights sleep after zero since Friday night.

xxxx

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Sorry to hear this billywhizz10 😕 my birth was great but the aftercare for breastfeeding etc when we got home I felt was non existent and we resorted to bottle with me trying to pump as well. To top it off our baby started screaming for 1-3hrs after feeds, midwives told us it was normal, just colicky, not so, she couldn’t tolerate the formula we were giving her, we switched to hypoallergenic without asking and she’s been a normal newborn since. The final straw was the phonecall at day 7 and appointment at day 10 neither which had happened as the midwife ‘forgot’ to put us in the diary, same one that didn’t cancel my 40 week midwife appointment at the surgery for me so I had them check why I’d missed an appointment and I’ve had to get the mark for this taken off my record! (I’ve never not turned up for any appointments) I’ve had to ring and get them to come out today, day 11 🙄 Good news is, baby is fine and we’ve now been discharged to health visitor.

Anyway what I mean by all of this rant is go with your gut, do what’s right for you as well as taking their advice and when baby does arrive enjoy! I remember you well from the fertility forum, your wife is a very lucky lady as you seem to do your utmost to support her x

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Thanx Lovefood! Glad the little one is fine! Its good to rant, and you feel so much better out rather than in!! xxx

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Oh goodness! This sounds so stressful for you and your poor wife. But you sound like a marvellous team together and keeping her as calm as can be, keep on thinking those calming happy thoughts, and soon you'll get to meet your little darling. Sending lots of love your way xxx

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Thanks All, for all the advice and comments.

In the end we spoke to the consultant and agreed a compromise, we are home now (bliss) and they have arranged for us to go in to the labour ward in the morning for my wife waters to be broken, my wife signed a discharge form against his wishes, but she's so relieved to be home now. They said we'll have at least 6 hours after the waters are broken to progress the delivery before they introduce the drip.

hopefully, tomorrow morning, with some privacy and all the hypno birth techniques we have a smooth delivery, even if we use the hormone and even if things go pear shaped and we end up with a c section( something my wife was very worried of) , we think after the past 3 days, we will do the best to stay calm and hopefully have a happy mother and baby.

Thanks for your support!

x

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You must be so pleased to go home. I hope you both get a really really good night's sleep xx

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Glad she’s going home for some rest. That’s exactly what I did and it was definitely much better than getting no sleep on the ante natal ward then going through labour the next day.

Bit of a shame they’ve done it as a discharge against medical advice - as far as I know the pessaries just ripen the cervix so cant think what the risk is once they’ve come out. My doctors actually encouraged me to go home after the first round of pessaries and were more than happy for me to go for a night before breaking waters so it wasn’t against their advice at all and it sounds like a very similar situation.

But at least you know that you’ll get to meet your baby very soon, and however it ends up happening,all you’ll want is for mum and baby to be safe and well. You’ll never know what would have happened if you’d opted to wait. One of my friends (not ivf pregnancy) wanted a home water birth and pushed to be allowed to go as far over as possible without induction. She went 2 weeks overdue but ended up with irregular contractions for over a week, waters breaking with no onset of labour and a c-section. But she and baby were fine and in the end that was all that mattered rather than what it said on the birth plan.

Keep us updated! x

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fingers crossed for tomorrow, thanks again for your great advice. If we had the service of your hospital, it would be a complete different story and we wouldn't have a major issue with induction, as you say, all that's matters is happy mum and baby xx

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What a nightmare! Hopefully get some rest and things will progress well tomorrow and youll get your own space as things progress and to deliver at least you'll have a story to tell !!! Lots of luck to you both xxx

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Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. Hopefully you will be home in no time with your new baby.

I’m nearly 20 weeks and also aged 42 after an egg donor round. I’ve already been told that they will induce at 37-38 weeks as my age puts me at risk of complications and ivf placentas are more likely to fail if they leave it too late. I’ve been told that survival decreases after 39 weeks.

It’s difficult to know what’s scaremongering so you tend to have to trust them.

I’m dreading the labour in our local hospital - it’s horrible but not much choice. Just hoping I won’t be there for too long.

X

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Thanks mantaray! I'm sure you'll have a great delivery.

You should read the below

nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-c...

It shows that 0.26% of women who are over 35 have tragic births when allowed to go to 42 weeks, compared to 0.08% with those induced. Thats a small difference and of course even a small difference shouldn't be ignored, but its hardly damming evidence that women who for example are healthy, but are 40 MUST be induced and their wishes completely ignored.

I guess (after a good nights sleep) we just weren't prepared we'd be on a busy ward with most women not trying to get into labour, we had expectations we'd go straight to the labour ward which has more privacy. We can go straight to labour ward this morning to break her waters.

As kt11 experience shows, they can make this a lot better process for women who are being induced, like giving them a chance to go home if they are on ward and up to the point they start active labour.

I would ask your doctors and midwives how the induction is processed, and where it happens, can you go home between treatments. All women are different, and an induction can still take a week, they've been trying to induce my wife since Saturday, its now Tuesday and she only has mild contractions.

Well, off to hospital now,

xxx

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OMG that happened to me I'm a new mum at 39 years old all this happened to me apart from I was in labour at home for 24 hours as I was told not to go to the hospital unless I hear 3 contractions in 10 mins, this didn't happen so I was at home not knowing o was in labour. By the time my waters broke my boyfriend said enough is enough and took me down to the hospital. The midwife was really rude asking me what made me think I was in labour, I was actually bleeding and after checking I was 100% dilated. I wanted a water birth but that was to late I couldn't even have any pain relief. Good luck with the birth I look at my daughter and she was well worth the stress but I did put me and my partner off the NHS.

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Many thanks! I'm glad it worked out for you in the end x

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And it will for you all xx

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Sounds like you are not having a good time of it at all. I hope your wife has managed to have a bit of rest.

I was induced at 41+5 and although I was pleased to finally be meeting my little girl I wasn’t that happy with the care. Luckily I was able to go home after my pessary and I returned that evening but my waters hadn’t broke so like your wife I was just in a general ward. They didn’t check me or baby until my waters broke and then they couldn’t find a heart beat so was rushed to labour ward. Luckily they found it and just carried on with labour. I begged and begged for diamorphine injection after a few hours (was in my notes) and they kept putting it off which really annoyed me. I finally got it. After nearly 12 hours of being fully dilated I begged for them to just get her out but I had a very stern consultant checking me and she wasn’t having any of it. Finally I did get a c section after two tries of forceps. Baby came out at 10lb 1oz so I think the consultant then realised why she wasn’t coming naturally. When I finally got home and had my first midwife appt she asked my opinion on the consultant as they had previous complaints about her manner so I told her what I thought.

If we manage to have another baby I will definitely be asking for a c section as there is no way I’m going through all that again.

Hopefully you will see your little baby soon xx

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I'm glad it worked out for you in the end. Listening to mothers is so important, my wife begged and begged to go home to sleep from Saturday night onwards and the doctor said no and it was 'dangerous', I understand nhs us under-resourced, staff are overworked and over-stretched, but it doesn't make it ok, or acceptable.

Childbirth isn't an illness , pregnant women aren't sick, but they are treated as such.

Our infant mortality rates are one of the worst in the developing world, so something is going very wrong with what we are doing now.

xxx

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They definitely need to listen more that’s for sure and you and your poor wife need the sleep ready for when baby is here so I totally understand why you wanted to go home. After the birth we were in for two more nights and you definitely don’t get sleep there so all the more important to try and be as rested as possible xx

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Hi Billy,

That does sound challenging! They will always take a blanket approach that will best fit the largest number of people but agree that you also have to be happy with what’s happening with your own care even if that means challenging the doctors recommendation.

Do remember the sheer number of women and babies who used to die in childbirth... although it may seem like a chaotic system it is very successful in terms of mother and child mortality, which is ultimately the most important thing. I don’t know what the statistics are like in terms of IVF pregnancies with women over 40 using donor eggs who have gone overdue... I can’t imagine there are enough people in that situation who have also been the subjects of clinical study to have results that are statistically significant, which I would assume is why they are taking such a risk averse approach. Although they may be wrong, I’m sure the consultants are advising you in what they think is the best way possible and you both have the same goal in mind.

Don’t decry the lack of a natural water birth too much. In my expferience everyone wants a natural water birth but nobody really gets one (except the people who progress super quickly, like my sister in law who had planned for a caesarean or at least an epidural but didn’t have time for either!) and labour at the best of times is a bit of a lucky dip and a far bigger and more challenging experience than we can imagine beforehand. The important thing is that you’re there for your wife and you’re calm (or seemingly calm) and reassuring no matter what happens. Good luck and let us know how it goes x

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I understand your rant 100%. We had a fantastic tour of the midwife led unit in the run up, and when my waters broke at 39 weeks we went on in to be checled over, my bp was reading a bit high at the check over so immediately moved me into the triage ward as i was also contracting 2 in 10 minutes. And that is where we stayed for two nights. Had a sweep the first morning, was 3cm along, not enough to warrent going to a labour room, couldn't be sent home as my bp HAD ONCE been elevated. It was normal thereafter. By the third afternoon i was a angry mess, got so fed up of the pther people in the ward, knew the hospital like the bacl of my hand from all the walks I had taken. Demanded another sweep as they weren't planning on doing any as my contractions hadnt progressed past 2 in 10 minutes, obly for them to discover I was actually 7cm dilated and technically in active labour. Got whisked away to a private labour room rather quickly at that point and good thing too as my son came naturally 4 hours later.

Push for what you want, if your wife wants to go home and there is no reason for her to be there, ie waters have broken, or lots of contractions, tell them, they can't force her to do anything. I wish I had checked out the hospital the following morning after being admitted, and gone back at the 48hr mark for my waters brealing for the antibiotics, I would have been way more comfortable, happier and actually had the energy and emotional bother to be more excited my my son arrived. Rather than just feeling glad it was all over and ready to get back to my proper bed!

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Been thinking about you both today. Hope things have progressed well and you are all ok xx

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Thanks for all your advice everyone. Unfortunately things didn't go too well, but we are grateful they could have gone a lot worse.

When we arrived in the morning after discharging ourselves we were admitted to labour ward for my wife's waters to be broken. We then went for a walk, as we were put in a induction part of the labour ward, which was tiny with other mums, the only saving grace was they were all in the same boat and there weren't visitors only mothers and birthing partners. The contractions progressed when we got back from a lovely walk discussing plans for our baby, and we finally were given our own room and could play music, had a lovely midwife and things were going well, my wife was progressing well .

Then my wife started to pass some clotted blood, within about 5 minutes a consultant came in with a gang of other doctors and decided emergency c section, my wife and I broke down as a nurse told me to strip for theatre and a doctor got my screaming wife to sign a consent form. 2 minutes later we were in theatre , I kissed my wife and tried my best to calm her as she went under. As it was a General anesthesia, I was then escorted out the theatre and told to wait in an empty recovery room, not knowing if my wife and baby were going to die.

A nurse then called me as some medics came out with my baby, alive thanks god and I was allowed to touch her hand as she was whisked away to intensive care.

I was allowed to go with them as they plugged her into wires and machines, I couldn't hold her or anything, so I went back to wait for my wife, who was still in theatre.

Eventually they came out, the consultant said everything went fine with the c section, that they had to act that instant as it looked like the placenta was coming away from the womb. In actual fact the placenta was perfect, it was a harmless old clot that was passing out, but they couldn't take the risk, they assured me my wife would make a 100% recovery, she could have future children, vaginally and everything was intact,

My wife woke and was very groggy, when she was told she couldnt see her baby she was completely devastated. She fell back to sleep and in the morning, I managed to get a wheelchair and take her up to intensive care to see her baby for the first time, around 12 hours since our baby was delivered. Neither us saw her first moments in this world, and we've only held her (albeit covered in wires and IV lines) today.

As baby was delivered by emergency c section, she had to be in intensive care, as c-section babies often have a little trouble breathing, (as they don't get to clear water from their lungs as in vaginal births)

Baby literally just now been released and given all clear and we are now in a ward for babies with close care and shes free of any wires and machines and drips. Shes doing great, hoping to be home before the weekend.

The whole experience has left us numb, wounded. I don't really question the emergency c section, these things happen, it was a fitting end to a nightmare experience. If I'm honest I don't feel bonded to the baby, everything is a bit too raw right now. My wife feels robbed of the whole birthing experience, and is trying to breast feed , doing her best as always, but i know she is in pieces, but i know she will heal. shes tougher than me. I almost feel we are having to rebuild a relationship with our baby, as everything about the delivery has been hellish, except the brief hour we had in the delivery room. I know this could have been a lot worse, but it still hurts so much to experience this.

I hope my horror birth story hasn't worried anyone, we were unlucky, but if you have been told you must induce, its worth pushing to find out how this process will work, a general maternity ward with many visitors? can you go home after each stage - prior to point when breaking your waters when you have to stay? these things can make a massive difference. its also worth preparing yourself as inductions are under doctor care- you increase your chances of a c-section if in case your hoping to avoid that, they will always go c section once induction has been started and you progress too slow.

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Hi Billy, i came on here to ask how things were to find your latest post.

Thank you for all your updates and knowledge of information. Im sure there are plenty of expectant mothers who will take something from this and ask further questions to gain more knowledge and have the clarificatiom/reassurance for when the time comes.

Im so sorry for the experience you both had but the main thing is your little one is here....congratulations! 🤱🏻👍💖🙂🤗 its such a relief to hear she is doing well now and out of icu. May she have a long, healthy and happy life.

Im sure you both cant wait to go home with your baby so you can bond better, be in your own safe, happy, comfortable environment and begin to make some awesome memories.

I wish you guys lots of joy and well deserved rest.... well as much as you can. Congrats again xx

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Firstly congratulations on your baby.

Secondly I’m so sorry of your experience it sounds awful. It’s such a shame she had to have general anaesthetic for her c section. Mine was emergency and I was given a spinal and my husband was with me the whole time. Hospital must worked differently in that respect unfortunately. It’s such a shame the baby had to go to ICU all that time as well 😔.

Please don’t let it play on your mind too much as they are now both safe and well and now you can all work on bonding and spending time as a lovely family together. But I would suggest raising your concerns with your midwife who will visit you the day after you return home. I really hope you get home soon but if she’s having any trouble breast feeding and is determined to keep it up make sure they give you the proper support especially after everything that’s happened. I think you can even request that you don’t want to go home until your happy breast feeding is going well.

Good luck xx

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I kept looking for an update, good job I came back to look at your original post. Congratulations on your little girl. Sorry to hear what you’ve all been through, I really hope you did get home this weekend so you could start enjoying yourselves as a new family. I couldn’t imagine being separated from mine when she was born, sympathies to you both and I hope you are now bonding better (time definately helps, it doesn’t just come immediately, you start to notice their personality over the first week or two) I hope the breastfeeding is going well for your wife, as mentioned I found no support once home, well I came across some nipple shields I had bought and tried them on a last ditch effort, we’re now 4 days exclusively breast fed with shields, tell your wife not to give up, she can do this! Trust your instincts, look after each other and you’ll do fine xxx

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Sorry to hear it all went so differently from your plans. But congratulations on your daughter!

Hope you can both access some post-birth counselling.

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Firstly congratulations on your baby!

I’m so sorry to read your traumatic journey. Hopefully now you have baby back with you and you all get home you will all feel better. Look after you three. Big hugs xxx

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