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Monster in law

Hey guys so need some advice I’ve been on antidepressants(safe ones for pregnancy) for a long time and me and my partner were trying for a baby and I fell pregnant. My monster in law instantly said I hope she’s not on those antidepressants cos the baby will be messed up. Regardless I stayed in them for a healthy me to stay the best for my baby. When our little fella was born he had a couple of problems(born with cataracts and low muscle tone) now she’s going on about how I’m the reason the baby’s messed up cos I was on antidepressants and I need to stop them cos she apparently seen me leaving them round the house(no hope would I do that) and my partners had a gutsfull we have given her numerous chances to grow up and stop being nasty but he’s crossed the line with him. He told her she’s not welcome at this house or to see our little one. Now she’s threatening to get legal advice. I’m a total mess I don’t want her negative bulls**t around my child but she’s going to use my anxiety against me. Does she have any rights?! I’m in victoria Australia

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I’ve not really got any advice but hopefully nothing will come of it. She’s probably just bluffing so you both give in and let her see the baby. If you’ve nothing to hide which sounds like you don’t then she’s got nothing on you and no proof of anything.

I was also worried about this but with my mother as I haven’t spoken or seen her for over three years but she had mentioned in passing to my sister she wouldn’t go quietly when it came to my baby. Luckily we haven’t heard a thing yet and my baby is 7 months but it’s always at the back of my mind.

Always blows my mind why people think they can butt in peoples lives xx

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Oh goodness sounds like you have had the threat but through the lines. She’s an alcoholic smokes likes a chimney and a gambler so she would have no hope anyway. My little boy is 6 months sometimes I wish he was older to tell her where to go 😂😂

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There we go then she will get no where so keep reminding yourself of that. I know it’s hard not to worry as our baby’s mean the world to us but we have to try and not let it get to us.

My mum is a complete nut case. She tried to stop all my nans grandchildren including me from getting our inheritance money because no one wants anything to do with her, she tried to steal my wedding dress a few years ago when I wasn’t talking to her and the list goes on!! She wouldn’t have a chance with my baby and I think she knows that plus all my family would be on my side 100%.

I just worry when my LG gets older she’ll wonder who her grandmother is and try and contact her or my mum would try and contact her. My hubby just says we need to be honest with her when she understands but I wonder if that will spike her curiosity.

Families!! Who would have them 😂😂 xx

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Oh wow sounds like you have a pretty good family too 😂 they say you can choose your friends but not your family. Like hell I’ll choose my family if there assholes haha do you

Get along with your mil

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Same here families are too much hard work. I’m glad I’ve got my own little family now. Luckily my mil lives 500 miles away so we don’t have to see her much but I can tolerate her at least 😂😂 xx

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Hahah I wish my mother in Law lived that far away. I don’t understand why people have to be nasty. My mother is so good to both myself obviously haha and she’s a better mother to my partner than his own mum

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I have no idea why people are like that. I would never dream of being like that to anyone let alone my children’s family xx

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Oh that has crossed my mind so much I keep saying to my partner if I’m a monster in law shoot me ahaha

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Ha ha same but I think we tend to learn from our parents mistakes and are more aware of it (hopefully😂) xx

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Haha let’s hope so. They say respect your elders?! How when there the assholes haha. People have obviously forgot the phrase if you ain’t

Got nothing nice to say don’t say it it all

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Not sure about australia but in uk she has no legal rights, the most she could do would be to claim you are an unfit mother which wouldnt likely work as you have your partner for support and being on antidepressants isnt a sign of an unfit mother its a sign of one doing right and seeking help when needed

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That’s really a great way to put it thank you hun. She’s a nutter that will use anything against anyone she’s a narcissist

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I shouldnt worry too much, She is probably bluffing and trying to scare you into doing as she wants. I'm on my 3rd pregnancy and have been on and off anti depressants since I was a teen and no one ever said anything to me about it making me unfit, never have I had anyone involved because i went to GP and requested my meds back.

As long as you and dad are on the same page and in agreement then not much she can do.

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You don't need her negativity. I'm not aware of a law for grandparents yet? But what your saying she is a bully! I would delete/block her number and ignore her. You and your partner should be enjoying your baby. Regardless of taking antidepressants it's your well being. I've been there and she should be supporting you. Plus if I was you I would write things down(like a diary) keep notes.

Hope all goes well,your doing a good job xxxx

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Thanks hun that’s really good advice. She really has no hope of any visitation cos she smokes in her house she’s a gambler and an alcoholic so she’s got no hope. She was probably on the turps when she was messaging us. It really is hard to go through hey?! Are you still going through it if you don’t mind me asking?! Xx

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I have 4 older boys 14,16,19,22 and I had a reversal because I'm with a new partner and just had a baby girl nearly 18 weeks old. Trust me my depression has been bad, up and down and very tearful, lucky for me my partner talks to me and understands and helps. But sometimes I still feel lonely, been in 2 previous bad relationships, 1st ex beat me and mentally abused me, 2nd was with my ex husband 14 years he took me for a fool and never allowed to have money etc. I've also had to work from my boys being baby's 6weeks old. Now I'm enjoying my relationship and daughter time ( full 9 months off) 😘 I still struggle but getting there.

All I can say is always talk to someone and plenty of walks helps me xxxx

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Wow hun sounds like you have had a horrible time but it sounds like your in a really good place now and congratulation on your little one xx

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Like I say now... things can only get better 🙂 good luck hun and take care xxx

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Grandparents have no legal rights to grandchildren, so I wouldn't worry about her getting legal advice.

Low muscle tone is just something that sometimes happens, if your meds weren't safe during and after pregnancy then your doctor (the actual expert) wouldn't prescribe them.

As for worrying about your baby maybe wanting contact in the future, I would worry about it when/ if it happens, by that time things might change all over again.

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That’s good to know thanks hun I’m just worried about the future tests and just worrying myself sick?! Do you have little ones x

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Yes, I have a 10 month old son. My biological father has never met him as he is a heavy smoker and alcoholic. He occasionally calls me to tell me he is coming to visit but never shows up, story of my childhood really, so I don't ever actually expect him to show up, he doesn't even have my address!

We dont get to pick our parents, and in the cases of those under the influence of long term alcohol abuse, I would take every thing they say woth a huge pinch of salt xx

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Sounds like your better off without him hun. It’s hurts that family is like that but as you get older it’s just like whatever I have my life to live xx

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Oh absolutly. I made my peace with the situation a long time ago xx

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That in itself is something to be proud of yourself for xx

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I think grandparents do have rights to see grandchildren sadly. I can’t believe how cruel she has been, I’m glad your partner is on your side.

Would she rather you were off anti depressants and couldn’t care for your child because somedays you might feel like you can’t even function?

I’m on antidepressants and have been a few years. And it absolutely sickens me when people make out like it’s horrendous to need a little help. I’m still on them, and will be throughout and after pregnancy. Some people are just IDIOTS.

I hope you manage to continue doing you, and being the best you can for your famiy. Good luck Mama! Xx

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Hey hun thanks for the reply I’ve looked further into it and she doesn’t have any rights if either of the parents are deceased that’s a different story thank god 😂😂 oh absolutely people are cruel do they really wanna see us without being on them we can get nasty too 😂 they are a lifesaver if we weren’t on them life would be a disaster I know

Mine would be. Good luck with everything hun strong and positive thoughts x

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Ah must be different in Scotland, as my co-worker went to court over his grandchild t be able to see her and won the case.

Glad she has no rights over there! Total batcase! Xx

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In uk a grandparent can apply for a contact order but it's no guarantees in the case of the grandmother being alcoholic and a gambler she wouldn't likely get a visitation order. Grandparents in UK still don't have automatic rights to a grandchild. And even then it's only contact rights not anything else.

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If it helps you to feel better, I was on antidepressants through my first pregnancy, and have a wonderful little boy, and I’m still on them with this pregnancy. It was actually a pregnanct consultant that put me on them, they wouldnt put you on something unsafe for the baby. I’m on Sertraline and take 200mg a day. Being on them rather than stopping them suddenly is best for you, and baby. If you didnt take them, would you be able to look after baby properly if you had a bad mental health day? Thats the way i looked at it. Without mine I just wouldnt cope. Taking medication prescribed shows you are managing your health risks and coping with them, so dont worry x

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That’s so reassuring hun thank you I’m also on Zoloft which is sertaline and I’m on 100 so they can’t possibly say it’s unsafe if out out all these people that’s on this site that I’ve found someone in the same boat so thank you and all the best for your next little bundle of joy xx

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I know other people on the same one too, if you ever need someone to chat to just drop me a message. Enjoy your little boy, they are so wonderful x

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Thanks hun that’s lovely xx

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