I don't know if I can do this!!: I’m in shock. My period... - NCT

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I don't know if I can do this!!


I’m in shock. My period was late and I thought it was just because I had been stressed (moving house) plus my sleep pattern had been messed up. It got to day five of no period and I took a test just in case. I then took five more out of shock/denial….and yes all 6 confirmed that it wasn’t just stress or a stomach bug…

Anyway, I’m still struggling to get my head round it. We weren’t planning to have kids yet. In fact, I have suspected endometriosis so I didnt even know if i COULD have kids.. I’m due to get married soon and would be showing in my dress. I keep freaking out about the cost, and reduced pay on mat leave, and the cost of nurseries etc…I know the baby hasn’t ‘stuck’ yet but my mind is just everywhere. We don’t have a mortgage yet and may have to postpone the wedding.

I also took a lot of meds (prescription for various health problems) not knowing I was pregnant, and have also been drinking etc. So I’m worried I’ve already messed it up!

I feel sick and sooooo tired. Like you can’t believe. I’ve also lost my coping mechanisms for when I feel like this (Valium/a glass of wine/a nice strong coffee!), so I’m feeling very raw and uncomfortable sitting with my emotions.

I have told a few people close to me, just in case I become unwell and I need help. I have been taken aback by their attitudes. Yesterday I was saying how tired I felt, and I got a reply telling me oh but it's so so small as if I was being dramatic, and I also left work early yesterday as I didn't feel great. A friend said I shouldn't be going home early this early on, as I will be feeling even more rough in a few months and will need sick leave then!! Also I said I felt really sick and she said oh no you shouldn't be feeling sick yet (I'm just over 5 weeks). I feel so alone! (No she hasn't had a child herself!!)

I just don’t know if I’m able to do this!!

11 Replies

Bless ya hun. It's all new! As you weren't expecting to be pregnant.

What's your maternity pay like? Have you got family to help out with childcare?

I had everyone telling me what to do and how I should be feeling but I just ignored them. Every pregnancy is different. My friend had terrible sickness with her pregnancy yet I only had bad nausea. She was only 2 weeks ahead of me.

One of the reasons I guessed I was pregnant was because I was always tired! I'd sleep 9 hours at night, do an 8 hour shift then go home and sleep. No one else can tell you how you're feeling.

We went on holiday to Croatia when I was unknowingly around 3 weeks pregnant. I was drinking every day, I drunk heavily a couple of days and smoking. I quit as soon as I found out I was pregnant but our son is completely healthy. You can always go to the doctors and look at your medication and see if there is a substitute you can take that's okay to take when pregnant. I was panicking as I was on sertraline but it turns outfits okay to take while pregnant.

If this is your first baby then you won't start having a proper bump until about 6 months pregnant. I started showing around 5 months but my friend didn't show til 6 months.

Could your dress not be adjusted? My friends sister fell pregnant before she got married and they were able to take the dress out a bit and it fitted her perfectly (she was 6 months pregnant).

Just take a deep breath :). Have you spoken to your partner about it? X

Thank you; my mat pay is ok-ish but runs out pretty quickly. I'm on a good wage atm and we can just about get by on that! The doctor told me to just stop everything I'm on medication wise. I know I won't show for a little while but where all the hormones are running around my belly is already swollen, but I just look fat rather than preg!

I have contacted my dress fitter to ask, but we are trying to decide whether the money saved for the wedding would be better going elsewhere for the kid.

I keep thinking there's a mistake and everytime my symptoms reduce I'm like yep there we go I'm not pregnant haha

I have spoken to my partner and he's in as much shock as I am x

My maternity pay is good for 6 months then drops by at least half if not more. But we're working round it. My fella is on good money so we're lucky really.

We had a baby shower and although I told everyone I didn't want presents, I just wanted them to turn up and have a nice day but they all got us presents which helped massively.

Our furniture was from Mothercare and we got it in sale. Most places now offer monthly payments. Overall it was 23 quid a month. You could always look for people selling them in your local area.

I'm sure they'll be a way round it hun. As soon as you see your baby on the screen, nothing else will matter 😁 xx

thanks hun. We have booked an early 6 week scan due to my meds and drinking haha so maybe I will know more how i feel then?! x

Hopefully hun. It'll all become more real then. Fingers crossed for you! You'll be fine 😁 xx

My early scan is on August 4th...time is going so slowly and I can't concentrate at work :( x

Oh bless you hun! I know how you feel. I was in a car accident back in March and had stomach problems meaning I can't control my bowel movements and can go to the toilet up to 15 times a day, which I had been controlling with immodium. What my doctor didn't tell me is it would invalidate my contraceptive pill! So here I am (like you in shock) at approx 10 weeks pregnant with morning sickness and still unknown digestive problems and had to come off the immodium as it hasn't been tested on pregnant women ... but despite how wretched I feel some mornings I just know everything will turn out alright in the end, and my husband has been walking round with a grin like a cheshire cat and has been really supportive.

ah yes I also have IBS and now have to manage that without medication! aghhh!

Instead of proper meals I tend to snack on things 6 times a day. My system manages to cope better that way 😉

yeah I'm struggling to eat so Im trying to have bits and bobs here instead x

being tired shouldnt be a surprise to these people.. your body is growing a human no matter what stage you're at! and as for the 'you shouldnt be feeling sick yet' is utter crap.. i was diagnosed with HG at week 5 so if i were you i'd ignore all silly comments like those too.. you have a lot of hormones flooding your system, everybody's body reacts differently - i.e there is no right or wrong.

dont't doubt your own capabilities either.. i know that can be easier said than done but you'd be surprised at how strong us women really are when it comes to this stuff!

i wish you the best of luck, x

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