When to tell friends and family?

[Hannah27]

Hello lovelies!

I found out last week I am pregnant, I'm currently 4weeks and 6days.

I told my fiancé that night and had to tell work the following day. I am a chemotherapy nurse and handle very toxic drugs so for my safety had to tell work so I can avoid certain drugs. There are some drugs and gases which have been linked to spontaneous miscarriage so work were very high on the list. I told my best friend as she has been so supportive when I've been heartbroken when periods have arrived.

I have endometriosis and had surgery to treat this in January, my mum came with me to my follow up appointment where I was told to start trying for a baby immediately as the chances of my disease growing back and preventing natural conception was a risk. There was also a chance I would never conceive naturally, so my parents know we have been trying... I'll also get extra scans (first one at 8weeks) as I'm a higher risk of eptopic pregnancy or miscarriage until ten weeks.

My fiance and I are getting married on 7th July so I don't know whether or not to tell some family before then? As it WILL look weird I won't be drinking?

When did other people tell? And any tips for the wedding? People will want to buy me drinks so I'm thinking of having lemonade in a champagne glass etc but I don't even want carbonated drinks at the moment.

Any tips or advice would be appreciated!

[Hidden]

Firstly congratulations I know how it feels waiting every month. I had IVF. I personally didn’t tell many people until 12 weeks. My dad, sister, aunt and uncle knew as they knew about my journey but everyone was 12 weeks.

At my wedding (not that I was pregnant) people didn’t even notice if I was drinking or not. People bought me drinks but I actually didn’t really drink anything as I didn’t have the time. No one would have of noticed either way.

If someone asks to buy you a drink you could ask for something non alcoholic and if they question it then say you want to be able to remember the day and that you’ve already had a few drinks xx

[Major2116]

We found out at 4 weeks. We had 2 previous miscarriages and I still told my parents and sister straight away as we are a tight family. I also told my fiancé's brothers girlfriend as we are very close and she was there for me through miscarriages.

I'm a carer on an elderly ward in a hospital where we have patients with shingles and infections. We also have patients with dementia some being aggressive so I also had to tell people at work.

We told close friends but it was on the quiet. We had a private scan at 10 weeks and at that point we told my fiancé's nan. We were dying to tell her but she gets excited and finds it hard keeping a secret bless her haha!

I know people say don't say anything until 13 weeks as your out the danger zone but when we miscarried both times, it was hard to socialise as barely anyone knew.

In a way I wish we had of told more people we were pregnant because now when people ask if our son is our first, I always say he's our first born but we lost 2 babies before him so he's extra special. I'm very open about it as they're still our babies.

I think it just depends on how you feel about it. If you want to tell them then tell them hun. Obviously if you don't want everyone else knowing then I think what Hydromermaid-1 has a good idea. Just ask for a soft drink and say you've had a few already and don't want to get completely drunk. Every wedding I've been to, I've not even noticed if the bride is drinking or not as she's done the rounds to say hi and left her drink at her table.

Wishing you all the best! Sorry for the essay haha! X

[Jazzy313]

Congratulations 🎊💖🎉

[Hannah27 in reply to Jazzy313]

Thank you, I assumed we would have to go down IVF route so very happy! Early days but just knowing I can get pregnant is a huge relief! Xx

[Kata89]

Not a wedding but we found out just before Christmas. I spent a lot of the holiday walking round with a glass of alcohol and pretending to sip it occasionally. Never actually drinking it. It was a bit of a surprise for us so didn't tell anyone until January. Baby was planned, just happened quicker than expected. And had misscarrages so didn't want to share the news too early.

No one will notice you not drinking at your own wedding. All anyone will care about is that you are having the best day possible, definitely tell people it's more important that you don't forget the day. Also it is likely to be hot, so a good excuse to drink refreshing drinks rather than alcohol. Best of luck.

[Sisi14]

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and wish you the best day ever on the 7th July xx

[Hannah27 in reply to Sisi14]

Oww thats so sweet of you, thank you xx

[Sisi14 in reply to Hannah27]

Your very welcome xx