Advice when trying for a baby : Hey all, So here goes... - NCT


51,853 members16,257 posts

Advice when trying for a baby

Lauralibertine profile image

Hey all,

So here goes.... I’ve had 5 miscarriages and had an eptopic pregnancy. All miscarriages where when I was on contraception and when we weren’t trying for a baby (the pill and mirena coil). The eptopic pregnancy when we were actively trying to have a baby with me without any contraception for the first time In 20 years went as well as it could’ve gone in that I’m not damaged in any way and am still able to conceive.

The problem albeit not that big of a problem is that after three months of trying I’m not pregnant yet. This is causing petty arguements as my husband can’t understand why I’m not pregnant yet.

Ive changed my diet to be more healthy, I’ve reduced my smoking and I’m tracking my ovulation and I’m still not pregnant!

Does anyone have any tips that have helped them and think that can help us because at the moment although I want nothing more than to be a mum and for my husband to be the amazing dad that I know he’ll be, I’m struggling and I’m starting to think that maybe we’ll never be parents.

I know that you have to wait for a year of trying before you’ll be granted any tests through the nhs but I’m struggling to understand how I could get pregnant more than once when on contraception but nothing apart from panthom pregnancy now I’m on no contraception.

Thanks in advance


13 Replies

Hi Laura,

I think having fallen pregnant five times when on contraception has maybe given you a slightly wrong idea of how easy it is to become pregnant?

You’ve been trying for just three months, and even thought it’s frustrating every months - three months is really a very short time. A normal, healthy couple takes on average 12-18 months to fall pregnant!

By the sounds of it you haven’t lost a tube following the ectopic pregnancy but have been treated either with methotrexate or it dissolved itself? That’s very fortunate and puts you in a better position! I lost my right tube through an ectopic and am also in that frustrating time of ‘why haven’t I fallen pregnant yet’. They do say 60% of women are pregnant within a year following an ectopic, but that’s all statistics.

To me it sounds like you are doing all the right things (maybe just try and stop smoking completely), and the two of you just need to give it a bit more time, however frustrating it is.

Make sure you go to the EPU as soon as you find out you are pregnant so they can monitor you for ectopic pregnancy.

All the best!

Ps: just remember one thing some women try that I’ve read about in a support group: ‘pre-seed’. Readily available. I’ve tried it just once so dar (waiting to be able to test for pregnancy in a few days), and I hear many people have success. It creates a sperm-friendly environment or something like that ;-) Look it up, I’m never sure what to make of these things...!

Thanks you for your advice! I’m going to completely stop smoking as lots of people have told me that will help!

I hope everything works out for you soon! X


Sorry to hear about your past experiences. I became pregnant after coming off the pill after 8 months. I was not actively trying and had changed jobs so I was less stressed I exercised and slept more and also took a multi vitamin with flic acid daily. I have heard and believe being stressed and pressured for any reason can affect being able to conceive quickly. So try more light exercise and relaxation is my advice you need a calm mind and healthy as possible body. Good luck x

Thank you for your advice I think I’m just stressing uneccasarily! X

Five pregnancies and five miscarriages when being on contraception doesn't sound right to me, how did you know you were pregnant and that you were having a miscarriage?

Lauralibertine profile image
Lauralibertine in reply to

I didn’t self diagnose. The first time I had pregnancy symptoms I did two pregnancy tests that were negative so I went to see my gp who did I blood test and confirmed I was pregnant. I also had to attend hospital on more than one occasion to have d&c. My gp or the hospital have confirmed each time.

in reply to Lauralibertine

I've never heard of contraception being so ineffective! Did any of the health professionals give you an idea of why that was? Just thinking it might help to understand this with regards to trying to conceive.

Lauralibertine profile image
Lauralibertine in reply to

I guess I’ve just been really unlucky! Nobody really knows why but I’m currently doing a trial at my local hospital regarding all of these Issues so hopefully they’ll be able to find out what’s been going on with me x

in reply to Lauralibertine

Most contraception is at least 95% effective so unless you were slipping up with taking the pil or taking antibiotics etc l I'd say that's more than just unlucky. Hopefully you'll get some answers from the hospital.

The pill doesn't cause miscarriages... Mirena may do as it is in the uterus.

However if you had five miscarriages you should have been investigated... where these miscarriages documented by gp/hospital?

All were documented by either my gp or at the hospital. I’m currently taking part in a trial at my local hospital so I’m always being monitored regarding the issues I’ve had x

If you're in a trial surely you would have been investigated... are you medication as part of the trial... could this be related to why you can't conceive? Could this be a bit too much on your plate.... stress is definitely not a good thing ttc

Hi Laura,

My partner and I were trying for two years before I got pregnant, I had a miscarriage while I was on the pill and I thought I would get pregnant straight away if I came off of it but I didn't it took two years! I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant with our little bub and got my scan tomorrow! Best advice I can give you is try not to stress yourself out and also your husband cause that can make things worse and also don't try if that makes sense? I stopped tracking my ovulation and we just had sex when we were in the mood for it and I got pregnant two months after! Good luck x

You may also like...