Help

[Bluelady-sing]

I am 41 years old did anyone have a baby at this age? what are my chances? I feel sick every time I think about life.

I have no husband no baby

[roxannacar]

With regards to chances nobody can tell you what you're chances are just dependant on age... fertility is fairly complicated... however for any person fertility decreases with age. Of course if you feel you need to have a husband to have a child that does make things more difficult. If that's not a must artificial insemination could be an option. I honestly don't know if this is offered on the NHS or not, but there are def. private options

[Bluelady-sing]

I would rather conceive with someone I knew - which I do know. I plan to try in March I have pcos

[Georgina_D]

I'm 33 and would have preferred to have waited a few more years tbh but my bf has been broody for the last 5 years!

As long as you're fit and healthy.. and eat healthy. Nobody can tell you your chance as everyone is different.

Both my grans gave birth after 40 and we're fine (although my mum was unplanned lol)

[Georgina_D]

My personal advice.. wait until you are in a secure steddy relationship, are financially stable and feel ready to become a parent. If it doesn't happen then please don't beat yourself up about it x

[Bluelady-sing in reply to Georgina_D]

Ido at the moment I am trying to change jobs just take my mind of it. Sorry to be a Bridget Jones ...but this year there has been no progress, no baby, no man nothing just pounds and carbohydrates. I going to loose two stone just in case

[Nicki1984]

Hi my mother in law had a baby around 40 I think you have every chance but may need to see a fertility doctor for advice if it's not happening naturally. Sorry to hear you feel bad about life but a baby won't necessarily solve this for you - have you thought about some counselling? X

[Munyze]

Hi hun! Not having a husband is not a reason to not have a baby if you really want to... but having a baby just because you think people want you to or because social pressure, then it's not a good idea... biologically you can have babies until menopause so you always have a chance of conceiving. After a certain age usually it's not advisable because there's bigger chances for complications with the pregnancy and with the baby... anyway if you really want to have a son/daughter and if you can't biologically you can always adopt one or two or more.. they just need love

[Bluelady-sing in reply to Munyze]

Munyze after what age is not advisable, I thought they had chromosomal testing etc..

[Munyze in reply to Bluelady-sing]

Usually after 35 it's more complicated on a biological basis to get pregnant not saying that it's applicable to you but the "ideal" biological age is apparently at 19 but nowadays who has a baby with that age? I had my son at 26 and everything was fine, my mom was born when her mom was 47 (and my mom is 55 now) my mom had a pregnancy at 38 but unfortunately had a natural abortion at 3 months... I would love to have that little brother angel... Just go to the doctor and ask what you have to do and proceed in conformity after that...

Best of luck

[KaleidoNoo]

Hello.

I know one woman who had additional children at 42 and 43. Both healthy pregnancies and both healthy delivery and children. I got pregnant unexpectedly earlier in the year aged 43 but sadly I miscarried. What happened to me could have had nothing at all to do with my age and just the sad and devastating truth that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.

I think it’s good to know what you want. Your body is calling out for you to reproduce and you have options. There are increased risks but if you are willing to proceed despite them then you could explore finding a co parent or going to a clinic for IVF using donor sperm or you could source donor sperm from a reputable sperm bank, chart your ovulation and inseminate yourself.

There are lots of women who become pregnant out of relationships so please don’t feel like you’re the only one. Some people have very strong views on those who have children outside of marriage or relationships so be prepared for that also.

Life does look different in your 40’s, things become more pressing if you haven’t yet in your life what you had hoped for. You’re doing well. Think this all through. Get help and support and do lots of research and see if you can find any like minded women to go through the journey with if you decide to do so.

[CrumbleBee]

You could use donor eggs- that increases your chances massively.

[Tessa369]

Just to give you some hope, I got married at 42, got pregnant at 43 and had my beautiful healthy daughter at 44.

We didn't have any of the tests as due to my age I would have come out as high risk anyway and I knew I was going to keep my baby whatever the results would have been.

I know this doesn't happen for many but it can happen and it did for us and I feel very blessed.

[Tessa369]

Sorry should have said we conceived naturally.

[Bluelady-sing]

Thanks guys your encouragement is greatly apprieciated

[Aydani]

My advise would be to be in relationship first unless you want go by sperm bank but its a massive responsibility and you may feel lonely and despressed if you dont have much support from surrounding.hormones in pregnancy are killin you, you want to be cuddled every minute)