I can't support my child

[Happymummy12]

I'm 16 and pregnant. I haven't done a test or gone to a GPS, but I'm supposed to be 9 weeks in and I can tell. My family and I don't have enough money to get all the things my child will need, and me and the daddy are struggling. How do I get money to feed and insure my baby's health?

[Hidden]

Hi hun.

I'm not sure where do you live so won't be able to give you specific answers. Either way, you should het yourself checked out by a medical professional, be it a midwife, obstetrician, gp or doctor at hospital. You have to make sure that you are pregnant and that the baby is healthy and in the right place(uterus). Ectopic pregnancy is a rare complication but having it can be dangerous and even life threatening. You should start taking prenatal vitamins, try to stay healthy, if you smoke or drink you should stop that. Maybe you or your other half have someone in family who recently had or will have a baby, they could help you out with some clothing for the new born as not everything must be new, just clean. Money wise you will have to consult with both of your families, see where you stand. If both you and your boyfriend are still in full time education, it might be difficult to support yourselves and Baby, you will have to find out is your family willing to help.

Good luck

[Munyze]

Hello! First of all you have to make a pregnancy test to be more sure that you really are pregnant. After that you need to think if you do want to have the baby and make a gp appointment. Then if you do want to have the baby check if there's support from local associations, go to websites online and inform yourself about what kind of benefits you can have. As expenses you can think it's expensive to have a baby but your biggest expense is nappies.. as you can breastfeed to cut on milk expenses, if you can't breastfeed there are milk banks in some hospitals, check that as well. I had a baby this year and I can tell that we didn't spend that much money as people say because we got a lot of stuff from charity shops, from neighbors and we bought cloth nappies (which in the beginning is a big expense but then you get your money "back") also there's always people that give gifts, if someone offers just ask if they can supply with whatever you need like nappies, a cot bed or a Moses basket, or a pram ( we got ours on eBay for 18£ and converts to stroller when he gets bigger).. also check if there's parents groups next to you.. they always have something from their babies stored...

Hope it helps! Good luck with your decision...

[Happymummy12 in reply to Munyze]

Thank you this really helps. And yes I do want to keep it

[Mum-of-three-to-be in reply to Happymummy12]

Congratulations.

You certainly don't need to worry about a nursery as baby stays with you in the same room until at least 6 months old.

There are so many materials around in our materialistic world that I'm sure you need to buy next to nothing. Don't spend your money or benefits on a fancy pushchair as you don't know what will suit you. With a first baby you don't have the experience of what's useful and what's not. You can always get a fancy item when baby is few months old.

Register with freecycle and other free recycling websites. Check gumtree and netmums for giveaways. When something is clean it is almost like new.

Once your GP knows of the baby you'll get a midwife allocated and she will give you a welcone pack with info on benefits.

Remember there're older families that also claim that they can't support another baby. I read recently that our perception is made up of 80% assumption and 20% reality! I find it crazy that parents are bombarded with long lists of "essentials" and "must haves" from every company that sells something when the most contended kids in the world have nothing like that and live in the rainforests (whatever is left of them).

Hope this helps.

Take care

[roxannacar]

Agreed with other posts. I'm not sure how you can't tell fit sure you are pregnant without a test and if you are pregnant and wanting to keep baby you need to get ante natal care sorted out. If you are in the U.K. You can speak to citizens bureau and your gp and they'll give you some guidance. No idea re other countries tho

[Ribena1987]

Hi. In regards to finances go on the Gov.uk website and find out if you are entitled to child-related benefits such as child benefit, child tax credit, maternity allowance, maternity sure start grant. Register with Emma’s Diary through their website. They give you a load of free baby stuff like baby wash, baby oil, nappies, maternity pads, breast pads etc. If you are on a budget Aldi and Lidl do cheap nappies. Do a spreadsheet of what you need (there are loads of checklists online) and work out a budget. Don’t worry about nursery furniture. Not necessary. You can get a changing mat from Asda or Babies r Us for £5. Asda do cheap baby clothes (including Disney Baby which doesn’t cost much more than the plain ones). Don’t buy loads of first size clothes as they grow out of them quickly. Bodysuits, sleepsuits and blankets are enough. Shop in the sales and look for bargains. Think about getting a travel system instead of just a pushchair. They come with a car seat and a carrycot. The carrycot can be used instead of a Moses basket saving you money. eBay do good ones. Hauck is an affordable brand that does travel systems. Also check Facebook selling pages.

Good luck with everything x

[the_tea_fairy]

Good luck lovely. If you're U.K. based, follow the GP/citizens advice advice above.

We've barely bought any baby clothes new (charity shops often have stuff for pence, plus hand-me-downs from family and friends), and don't have a pushchair/pram as we're in a tiny house and like walking cross-country anyway: get a second hand moby wrap on eBay instead. Read up on breastfeeding now and investigate local support groups: it's free, you don't need bottles and sterilising stuff, best for baby, and great for you (I lost my 'baby weight' within weeks feeding, but more importantly it reduces your risk of breast cancer and osteoporosis in later life). Our only big spends have been on a car seat, and we did also get a new cot and mattress but just got an IKEA one and it's fine!

Breathe: you can do this xx