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Help!

I have just been for my Dating scan which has put me at 13+3.

This makes absolutely no sense. My partner was in USA until 26th August and this date has out me at conceiving 10 days prior to him been in the country. I can't make any sense of it and he is obviously no accusing me of sleeping with someone else and the baby not been his.

I don't know what to do, can anyone offer any advice?

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They date a scan purely on the size of the baby and this is based on an average measurement so your baby is just a little bigger than those averages. I know the exact date I conceived which would make my due date 28th May but my dating scan says 23rd. It’s ridiculous of your husband to accuse you of that. Ask your midwife to speak to him to explain in more detail. Bloody men!!!

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Are you accounting for the 2 weeks at the beginning when you aren't actually pregnant! If you are 13 + 3 you actually conceived 11 weeks and 3 days ago as dates given correlate to first day of last period not date of conception. Also scans aren't accurate to the day and are commonly up to a week out. X

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Oh dear you poor thing. Please try and get him to understand that this does not actually mean when you conceived. I had ivf and my dating scan bought me forwards even though my partner and I know exactly when I conceived to the minute. Get him to read these posts if it helps or ask your midwife to explain this to him. good luck xxx

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Both my first scans worked out my babies a week further ahead than I thought, but they both arrived within a day of my original date, so I always said the scan date was wrong and my babies have long bodies as they measure from head to end of the tail bone. I was in France with work when I should have conceived my second according to the hospital scan date, while my hubby was at home - I got some ribbing from my colleagues but hubby was fine that the hospital scan date was just an estimated date.

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Thanks everyone

After a lot of research online the date given by a dating scan (in the UK) is the gestational age and not the actual age of the fetus. I found a really useful table which gave the crown to rump measurement, the gestational age and the date of conception. After showing him that and explaining that the gestation period is counted from the first day of your last period he seems to be ok. Works out I conceived the day after he came home, and as we didn't leave each others sides for that entire week he seems to have settled down now.

I am a little annoyed though, I actually voiced my confusion during the ultrasound scan! I explained that he was in a different country until nearly 12 weeks ago and the sonographer just said that the readings were showing me at 13+3, She didn't even attempt to explain that the first 2 weeks are when I wasn't pregnant and it went from the first day of my last period. Even after my partner made a comment about DNA testing and things got really obviously tense between us she still didn't say anything. He now feels a bit upset that it ruined his and my first scan, as pretty much after she said the dates he completely switched off and didn't even look at the screen.

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How horrible. You’re being very understanding of your partner I must say. For him to be suggesting DNA in the scan room must have been really humiliating and horrible for you. I think he owes you a massive apology and a private scan so you can have a nice positive experience and a nice lunch after too!!

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It's not their job to get into these kinds of things alot of hospitals tell their sonographers not to comment on things and to leave it to the drs as the sonographers are only trained to read what the measurements of baby say and work it out from that unfortunately.

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It would have been as simple as saying we measure gestational size and not fetus size! That would have prevented 12 hours of arguments, tears and a lot of stress on both me and the baby. Thats not commenting on anything to do with the baby's health.

She actually made a lot of comments about the baby, such as ways of measuring, why they take certain measurements, movement etc. She even managed to have a full discussion with my partner about his trip to america and what he's currently studying (MSc in Biomedical Science), plus tell him she has a masters degree in sonography.

I'm a Veterinary Nurse and if I see an owner/client distressed about something I do my best to help/explain the situation even though its not my job!

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They have to say certain terms in specific parameters and its not as simple as saying that because they are measuring the physical size of the baby but the measurements they get dictate the gestational size. It was the doctor or midwifes responsibility to explain if you had confusion.

Its not a case of it not being their jobs its a case of them not being allowed to say things because they dont have the same medical training.

Im very sorry for the problems youve had, but im about to make myself very unpopular here by telling you not to take it out on the sonographers that have to see an unbelieable amount of women a day, because you had an issue with your husband, it seems to me that your mis directing your anger at your husband on the staff because you dont want to admitt he should never have instantly had a go at you especially not in public.

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I'm not angry at him at all. I completely understand why he was so upset. Someone in a medical profession told him I conceived whilst he was in a completely different country, 2 weeks before he returned. How else was he supposed to react? I mean the logical explanation would be to think I had slept with someone else while he was away not it was an immaculate conception.

There was no doctor or midwife present at the scan, only the sonographer. Plus she has plenty of medical training (a MSc in Sonography specialising in pregnancy) and made a comment on almost everything else.

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Becci - i think she enjoyed live drama... how horrible of her! I can't believe she did not mentioned that they count from first day of last period hearing your discussion (and obviously he came back when you ovulated and Voila- baby announced itself :)

Good luck with your pregnancy! X

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I had one brought forward and one put back! They were 14 and 11 days late. Your partner should be more trusting!

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I’m sorry your partner was not very understanding at the time - I personally would have been fuming at the sonographer for not even attempting to explain why the dates seemed odd, especially as tempers were raised. I’m glad everything has been explained now though and you can both move on from it. Perhaps book a private scan that the two of you can enjoy together? This will give you something else to focus on rather than the bad experience you had. My sonographer has dated my baby as two days older than it is based on its size despite me knowing exactly when my last period was, when I was ovulating and which ‘session’ led to us conceiving! I’m expected to give birth early anyway due to other issues so it doesn’t make much difference to me but it can be very confusing at the time!

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You do know that week 1 is classed as period week?

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That's really bad of them to not explain it properly. My partner can't get his head around the due date, I just have to tell him it's a benchmark and not to get wound up!

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I had a similar experience, me and my babies dad had a few weeks apart and later found out i was pregnant i knew i conceived 24th december last year (too many drinks not enough precautions and it was the first time we had been intimate in around 2 months and i had only ever been with him) and when we went for the dating scan in early feb they said how many weeks which my partner worked out was the 6th December, he kicked off accusing me of being with someone else and even walked out the scan, we argued for weeks about this as he was demanding an amniosentisis to do a DNA test in the womb as he wouldnt go the the birth of a child that wasnt his! It took 3 midwives, 3 doctors and a consultant sitting him down and even drawing diagrams plus a large amount of time browsing the internet on conception calculator apps to prove that the 6th of December was the start of my last period and its an adverage of 14 days after that you actually do the deed to concieve! He finally conceeded that i was right after months of protesting i had not cheated, countless arguments and even his refusing to go to appointments till i was 30weeks. There was a point i thought i had got it through to him at 12 weeks but during a scan i was asked to go and part empty my bladder and while i was out the room my parter asked if i concieved on the 24th or the 6th and she just replied that he "needed an honest conversation with me and maybe a DNA test" when she knew full well from the measurements that there was no way i conceived on the 6th and all babies measure different! Fast forward a year and we now have a beautiful 3.5month old who is the spitting image of his dad and is crazy long already in 6-9month clothing so is going to be super tall the dating scans and all measurment scans i found to be pretty wrong tbh, my due date was changed 3 times throughout my pregnancy and they would swap and change each scan as to if he was going to be a big baby or a small baby! They only thing they did get right was that he was a boy!

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Does anyone know the margin of error of a 12 week dating scan when working out conception/implantation date?

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Scans are based on your last period not on conception date

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Thanks. I thought scans looked at the size of the baby to work out feutal age, which would tell you roughly when conception / implantation took place? I know some people ovulate early in their cycle and some much later so LMP is too vague a thing to go by.

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They measure gestational age and not fetal age, its from your last monthly period and not conception. This is where all my trouble came from.

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