Miscarriage

Lost my baby through a early miscarriage! My partner isn’t taken it so well! Which is causing stupid arguments cause all we want is a baby and after trying for a year and to lose it has been so devastating

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  • Hi I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I've also been through something similar called a hydatitiform molar pregnancy, and the grief you feel is a physical pain in your heart. Not many hospitals provide support either however there are several charities in my area been creating memory boxes for families whom have lost a baby.

    Don't forget your both grieving and both in pain, snapping and arguing with one another is just a way of letting this anger out, although it's the last thing you need. Unfortunately anger is just one of the stages of grief and let's not forget your hormones will be all over at this time so emotions will be running high.

    May I suggest you perhaps look for an online forum to get some support from other mothers who have suffered and also ask your GP for counselling? I did neither and waited 19 years to actually acknowledge the mental distress it had caused me which was far too long, but back then there was no counselling and it was a very rare condition. I have a memory box and a little butterfly in my garden, not much I know but i see it everyday and it brings me comfort.

    I now have two boys, but I can still remember that day as clear as anything and that was 22years ago. One thing I can remember someone saying to me back then was it mustn't of meant to be, omg I wanted to batter them! But now I think I wouldn't of had my boys if I'd had my other baby. I know my situation is slightly different to yours however the loss of a child is the worst thing ever to happen and I just wanted to share my experience.

    Please get some support and I admire you for taking the first step and posting in here

    Take care

    Jk

  • Completely agree with this post. Having experienced two miscarriages myself and not really dealing with the first the second hit me like a bus. Take time to acknowledge how you are feeling. You both have every right to feel angry, sad, hurt, lost, confused and hopeless. But at some point you will find the strength to try again, millions have been in your situation and go onto have children. I am currently feeding my beautiful 3 month old daughter. A long road but worth every step!

    Good luck to you xxx

  • Honey take heart all will be well

  • Take heart, my daughter had an early miscarriage after 2 years of trying, we were all devastated. Our heart was breaking for her and her husband, especially as it was Christmas time too! She'd found out she was pregnant in hospital about to have a laparoscopy to investigate why she wasn't getting pregnant. We thought it was miracle! And it turned out to be true despite the heartache. The following month she was pregnant again! At that time my husband had taken to his bed ill with flu and for a very active man he didn't seem to be getting over it but when she had a very positive test he seemed to fight the flu. Sadly, her dad passed away when she was 6 months pregnant. So it was bittersweet that he never got to meet Cameron in this life, but Cameron always stared at his picture when he was very young. I digress though, Cameron is now nearly 10 and is an amazing young man and has a sister of 7 (6 months of trying ) and in December he will, god willing, have a little brother ( after 2 years of trying). We will never forget that first little one, but take heart and don't lose faith that you will one day hold a precious little one in your arms. Please show this to your partner.

  • I am so sorry for your lots .I have been throw it Iost my baby when I was coming up to 2 months pregnant . It was the worse thing I have been throw . I have no family or no boy friend to help me throw it jut me . And I am 19 years old . But I am getting there now . So I am sure you and your boy friend will get there x

  • So sorry to hear of your loss hun. We have had 2 miscarriages and lost our 2 babies before our rainbow baby. If you need someone to talk to, I'll happily lend an ear xx

  • I am very sorry to hear about your loss..

    Please stay strong! Everything will go okay and by god's grace you will be blessed with an angel soon.

    May god bless you..

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my little Baby Batman at 11w2d back in March. It was the single most difficult thing I've ever been through. We’d been trying for 6 months when we conceived. I was pretty much unable to do anything without help for the first month as I was in pain for two weeks then felt so depressed. I then went back to work part time and sought some counselling for a couple of weeks. It does take time and there is no set time it will take. But you will both start to learn how to deal with the grief. I am currently going through my second round of counselling with a different counsellor and it has helped me massively. Whatever you are feeling, please know that it is ok to feel it. And it is the same for your partner. We all process grief differently. The most important thing right now is that you both try to take care of yourselves and each other and talk through what you’re both feeling. It took a few weeks to get my husband to open up to me because he was trying to be strong for me but we got there eventually. It takes time but you do start to learn how to deal with it and the days do get easier. Xxxx

  • Hi Hun I am so sorry for your loss and I understand your hurt and pain, I previously lost my twins in August I found out at when I went for my scan at 13 weeks, it was the worst moment ever and it’s been hard! I am now coming to terms with it wasn’t my time turn and hopefully soon it will be but I feel blessed to have them for the weeks I did ! I also had to have them removed surgically as they wanted to stay put which was hard to but I had them cremated together and now their my sleeping angels! I hope you get the strength to get through this with your partner. God bless xx

  • So sorry to hear of your loss hun. We have lost 2 babies through 2 separate miscarriages. After the first, Me and my fiancé argued a lot. More so because of me. I took all my frustration out on him and ended up in a bad place suffering with depression and anxiety. After declining medication numerous times, eventually I accepted help, took some medication and did counselling. You're both hurting over the loss of your baby. It's going to be hard. If you are struggling, counselling has helped me, I went to my gp and they gave me some numbers I could call.

    I also found having a remembrance candle helped me feel closer to our babies. We got it off Amazon. If that's not your thing, may be planting a flower in your garden, letting off some laterns/balloons, having a place where you can go and remember them. No matter how early you miscarried, s/he is still your baby and no one can take that away from you.

    Here anytime for a chat if you need. Thinking of you both xx

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