7 week miscarriage

[smumtobe]

Hi all, we've just been that this, our first pregnancy has miscarried.

Anyone on here that has experienced the same offer any advice how to cope with these feelings. Im so so sad, but feel as though people ate just thinkibg pull your self together as i was so early on. Cant get over how attached i was though, still losing blood so i see it slipping away every day, and ive still got sore boobs etc... Its vile just want it to stop now its so cruel.

My partners been great stayed home with me all weekend (we found out fri night) but hes back to work today and i feel like i should be getting on with it too?

[roxannacar]

Different people need different times to "get on with it". Some people want to go back to work straight away as they feel it will get their mind off things, others need more time. Don't be too harsh on yourself and def don't listen to other people's opinions if they're not going to be supportive, not worth it!

[Major2116]

I know exactly how you feel hun. We lost our first and 9 and our second at 5 and a half. Since losing then I have suffered with depression and anxiety. I still suffer a bit now and I'm 16 weeks pregnant and baby is perfectly fine but it doesn't stop you worrying.

I constantly felt as though people at work and some of my friends had moved on and expected me to yet I just couldn't pull myself from this dark hole I was in. Me and my fiancé began arguing and eventually I realised after a few months I needed help and was put on medication and had counselling. My partner and family were my rock and still are!

It's all still raw for you hun as it's only recently happened. People won't think bad of you for crying at the loss of your baby. I found a baby memorial candle holder on Amazon and I used to light it every night just to feel like our babies were close which actually really helped me. People say try to keep busy which I did for a bit but the inevitable happened and once I'd let it build up, my emotions came pouring out.

Maybe try a memorial candle, letting some balloons/lanterns off, have a little memorial garden or some place to go to feel close to them but most of all just grieve. Cry if you need to cry, scream if you want to scream, write down how you feel maybe but don't hold it in. Take each day as it comes. If you're really struggling, book in with your GP. They can give you some helplines and maybe even counselling places that will help you.

Thinking of you x

[smumtobe in reply to Major2116]

Thank you lovlies. Yes i might try the candle memorial think that will help. I know so many others go through so much worse and get through it so i take comfort from that too. So sorry to hear about yours and pleased for you now with your new baby.

Xxx

[Major2116 in reply to smumtobe]

I think we got ours for about 15 quid. The words were so lovely. Strange how the smallest thing can bring you comfort. If you need a chat hun I'm here anytime! You can get through this. Dont feel guilty when you start feeling happier again. Your baby will always be with you no matter what! Thank you xx

[Sisi14 in reply to smumtobe]

I know the pain and I’m so sorry for your loss ! I lost my twins in August when I found out at my 13 week scan ! I had a missed miscarriage and they didn’t want to come away I had to go for surgery and I was poorly so had to stay in , it breaks my heart because even though unplanned I was so excited to be a mum again ! I didn’t know what to do for my babies , they were creameted together and now I’m getting a tattoo of the day they were angels and left me ! My own family were supportive but said it’s one of those things which I kind of understand but still wanted to punch their face ! Time is a healer and take each day as it comes , you will never forget that little one and I wish you all the best for your rainbow baby xx

[Major2116 in reply to Sisi14]

Gosh hun, so sorry to hear about the loss of your twins. Our first miscarriage was complicated as our baby had got stuck in my cervix so when I though I was 11 weeks, our baby had died at 9. It lasted around a month in n out of hospital. Our second was the total opposite, pain for a day and not much bleeding.

I also decided to get a tattoo for our Angel and after waiting 3 months on the waiting list, 2 days before I was meant to have it, I found out I was pregnant with our rainbow! Still going to have it once s/he is born.

Thank you hun. Best of luck to you for the future xx

[Sisi14 in reply to Major2116]

Thank you so much , it’s hard what we all go through but very true that we are blessed to experience babies before and after! Congratulations on being pregnant and I wish you the very best xx

[Major2116 in reply to Sisi14]

Thank you hun xx

[Hidden]

I know how you feel, I found out last week at my scan that I’d had a missed miscarriage, but even today I still haven’t had any signs of impending miscarriage so I’m going for ERPC tomorrow. I’ve been through a range of emotions, I refused to believe it until I had a second scan yesterday. I have spoken to all my family about it and mums especially just have a way of putting things into perspective.

Everyone deals with things differently and everyone’s experience is different so own your feelings and let yourself feel them. Talk to friends and family who you feel comfortable with. I’m very much one to bottle things up usually and it’s helped to just cry and talk. It doesn’t matter how early or late in pregnancy a loss is a loss and it really hurts, no one will be thinking you need to get over it, I promise!

Just know that although it’s little comfort, 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage so you’re really not alone, and most people go on to have a healthy pregnancy afterwards (when they’re ready of course - just don’t rush into anything until you’ve processed your emotions)

Big hugs xx

[Sisi14 in reply to Hidden]

I hope your ok and I’m very sorry for your loss! I had to have my 2 angels removed from me as they wanted to stay put, but now they are sleeping angels with all of our precious little ones! Xx

[smumtobe in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Chloe, i feel for you having to go through what you are. Will be thinking of you hun.

Thank god fot this place, its so nice to be able to talk to and hear stories from other people who have or are going through this, i dont feel so alone in this so much now. Thanks to everyone for sharing and for your kind words. Big hugs and love to you all xxx

[KellyTrip]

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage around the same time. I couldn't stop crying. I kept telling myself that it just wasn't meant to be that time. I now have two children and I wouldn't change a thing. It made me feel lucky to have them.

[Lou2505]

Hi I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss. I know how devastating it is for you! I lost my first last sept at 10.5 weeks and needed a D&C. Was in hospital for 3 days

It took me weeks to grieve and begin to feel ok again. My doctor was a great support and fully agreed that was normal to cry and I had to take time to grieve. My fiancé was a great support but coped better than me but remember it's your body that has to go thru it all!

I lost my second in Feb at 5.5 weeks and I took a week off work just until the bleeding stopped cos it's such a constant reminder of what's happening to you every time you go to the toilet!

I felt like I just had to get on with it but it was still hard and I had many a teary day

The support of my friends family and colleagues was brilliant who would let me cry

I'm happy to say tho we fell pregnant in April and I'm now 30 plus 2

I've spent my whole pregnancy worrying but praying all is well

Give yourself time and talk to people about your experience don't bottle it up!

Good luck x

[smumtobe in reply to Lou2505]

Im so happy for you, gives me hope there is light at the end of this dark dark tunnel xxx

[MeganLilly]

I am so sorry for your lost, I went though this less than two months ago, and the pain you feel physically and mentally is horrible. But don’t blame yourself, I was trying to find anything and anyone to blame but it just wasn’t the right time for me and my partner.

I didn’t really have anyone to talk to, my partner wasn’t overly thrilled about having the baby to begin with but when he saw the pain I felt he came round and was supportive.

I am now pregnant again, (only found out last week) which means if it’s a new pregnancy I got caught as soon as I was fertile again! Scary but I am so pleased.

Anything is possible, but you will never ever forget that first little bundle, I think about my misscarriage every day!

Here if you need to talk x