Hi everyone..

As I am new to this I need some advice.Even though I'm having a baby I'm terrified of child birth.Can you ask to have a c-section?


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32 Replies

  • Ask in your area for a good hypnobirthing teacher, they will give you all the information you need about childbirth, help you overcome anxieties and empower you to know you can give birth. If I was to have another baby, I would also pay to have a doula to be my voice when I'm concentrating on giving birth. I've had two babies now and was terrified of childbirth, but after doing hypnobirthing I was confident I could do it.

    Talk to your midwife about your fears and anxieties and she may be able to offer some counselling.

    Good luck.

  • Thankyou so much Winnie258.I will check out all this info for my area.

  • In UK, I don't think you can get a C section done by choice. They will only do it if it is deemed necessary. C section costs NHS way more than a normal delivery does. That's why.

    However, I was just like you 3 months ago. Terrified and horrified of letting the baby out. But it all just happens. I am not saying there won't be pain but trust me you will get through it. You just have to follow the midwife's instructions, take deep breaths, try and not think of the pain. I know it's easy said than done but try and stay calm.

  • You need to speak to your midwife...

    However c section are not an easy way out. Apart from the possible complications that can occur you need to think of the practicalities l eg you shouldn't drive for 6 weeks after a major operation etc.

  • I elected for a section twice. I asked my GP to refer me to a consultant and asked. I got my way and had two planned sections. Research both ways and once you're fully informed go for it. It's your body, your baby, go for whatever you think is best for you. If they refuse you can always go privately.

  • Actually the Private option is quite difficult outside of London. Not many private obstetricians

  • She can go to London. With a planned section you can go down the day before

  • That's an option. But of course you need to consider costs of medical care. Stay in hospital. Stay in London for your partner. What if you're not fit to travel after? Etc

  • Yes, it's not the cheap option. Depends on how much you value your fufu I suppose- l am kidding ladies, I'm kidding!

  • Hi Littlelamb2,

    Thankyou.Thats just what I wanted to hear.Im really nervous and want to enjoy this pregnancy without the fear of childbirth making me worried and stressed for 9 months

  • Don't be worried. Enjoy it,enjoy sleep lol. Which ever way you go you'll do great. Neither way is nice but as long as your baba is fine you won't care.

  • I had a section not by choice the recovery is awful hun it by far isnt the easiest path to choose just try to think about how many women go through child birth and are absolutely fine afterwards its like it never happened lol sections take months to recover fully from and walking for the first week or 2 is really painful and washing is a nightmare trust me lol good luck hun xx

  • Hi Clairelouise91,

    Yes I'm thinking you're right.Ive just found out I'm pregnant 2 days and you worry about everything lol! I'm starting to chill out now and enjoy being pregnant.Were thrilled and we found out on my 38th Birthday! :) we live abroad so seeing a consultant this week..things happen very quick in Spain!

  • Aww how lovely! I tried to not think about it till last minute then it was all rushed because she was breech and they couldnt turn her 2 days later im booked in for a section 🙈 Lol youll be absolutely fine it annoys me that i havent experienced a normal labour fingers crossed for next time lol x

  • Thankyou Clairelouise91 for all your helpful advice :)

    If I could just get rid of this morning sickness that lasts all day..I can only eat baked beans lol 🤢 x

  • Ginger is suppose to be good for morning sickness get some buscuits in lol x

  • I have had 3 c.sections ( not by choice) and one natural birth. Believe me c section is not the easier option x

  • Maybe I was very lucky but I gave a birth to my son vaginaly (I hated gas&air so I had 2 jabs in my leg as pain killer- not sure what it was called- also had second degree tear - not sure how bad it was) and the very next morning I was up and down the corridor like it never happened!

    I had no pain, no swelling. I felt amazing, empowered!

    Wishing you best if luck and not to be scared!

  • I had an epidural and 3 rd degree tear.

    Was like bambi trying to walk for a few hours but after that was fine!

  • C- sections aren't an easy way out. They are major abdominal surgery, and actually I think it's good the NHS won't normally let be elected unless there have been problems high have led to them needing a c-section before.

    The simple fact is, it's not some simple routine operation, it's a really really big deal and should be treated as such. It's not easier and it won't make your life easier. It can cause huge amounts of pain and has a long recovery time and is associated with all kinds post birth issues. Equally whilst you feel like this now, you may find talking to other women, going to classes (yoga helped me), hypnobirthing, NCT will help. It's natural to feel a bit worried, it's painful. But there are a tonne of ways to control and manage that before leaping to c-section.

    Having said all this it is your choice. And you shouldn't feel judged. You can go private. However I really think you should talk to the medical experts, midwives, doctors etc. There are very good reasons they don't just give people c-sections. And it's because they are not actually good for you or the baby, unless and until they are a necessity. And, as someone who had difficulties during a birth a) I coped, and b) they almost gave me a c section but by the time they had realised quite how stressed my baby was it was very late and the surgeons and obstetricians actually advises against unless I really couldn't push him in a short space of time. They helped me to do that and everything was fine and now I'm so glad I didn't have one.

  • I was like you at first! Find out about pain killer options. You can also pay for a private aromatherapist and some hospitals give you water birth options if you are low risk.

    C section has a long recovery time (at least 6 weeks) has a risk of infection too.

  • A MASSIVE THANKYOU to everyone on this thread who have answered all my questions regarding c-section :)

    I've a lot to think about.I think I'm just worried as I'm going to be an older first time mum so I'm very new to all this and I'm also living abroad which makes me nervous.But I have a wonderful partner and family who will be on hand :)

    Did you all enjoy pregnancy? I love hearing your stories xx

  • Hi when you see your midwife again talk to her about child birth and booking a c-section. Explain how you feel and what you concerns are. I've had 2 c-sections botg my boys doing fine. Now have another one on the way. Don't know yet if it's a boy or girl. Good luck. Xx

  • Hi LindsayB24.Yes I will do.Im seeing my Spanish gynaecologist this week for my first scan so will know more then :)

    Congratulations on your great news! :) Xx

  • I'm also freaking about a natural delivery and prefer to go with an elected c section. I have an existing medical condition where if my body comes under any pressure I swell. I can't imagine childbirth to be a quick push and then I'm able to swell away. The consultant seemed more concerned with my throat closing and didn't think about what's going to happen to the birth canal but maybe he will have read up on it more before my next appointment! At the 20week scan I had a low lying placenta so if that stays it's a c section anyway.

    It's so strange the first few months you worry about keeping it in and then there's the transition of 'ah oh, this is going to come out'

    In the uk under NICE guidelines you can request a c section due to anxiety or non medical conditions but they may insist on counselling before being sent down that pathway.

  • Hi emmab178,

    Thankyou for the info.Im going for my first scan on Thursday in Spain so will speak to my Spanish Doctor.Il be back in the UK in 3 weeks time so will also see what the midwife suggests.

    How has your pregnancy been so far for you? This is my first and I'm very excited but also very nervous 😀 Xx

  • Your lucky to have set up a uk midwife appointment or do you live here some of the time? Sounds complicated.

    Pregnancy is going ok. I had a low lying placenta identified on the 20 week scan and got banned from flying which effected my job. No problem for me but it is one for my boss! They've set me up for alot more scans to check growth and the placenta so seeing how it goes.

  • Hi emmab178.Yes I have a midwife set up in the UK and a gynaecologist here.It happened at just the right time as we had just moved here after living in Indonesia .It would be a nightmare living there and being pregnant.My gynaecologist here is UK trained and he's fantastic.I just want him to give me something for the sickness as I'm sick 24/7 and I'm only 8 stone.

    Hope you're feeling ok and resting lots with your feet up :) xx

  • You can ask. You may find with a sympathetic consultant you may be granted one. Especially given your medical condition. The 'counselling' is just someone explaining all the pros and cons of a sections. Its good to hear it all so you can make the best decision for you and use baby.

    I heard it all and went for a section I believe it's safer for babies. Every one is different but for me recovery was fine. Yes it's painful afterwards and you'll need to take it easy. Having a support network would be helpful. My hubby was working away after two weeks and it was pretty ninja on my own. However, two weeks and I was back driving. A month later I was back to normal.

    Having said all that. . . Listen to all the facts and research it as much as you can. Rather than listening others who had an amazing/dreadful experience either way.

    Good luck xxx

  • Thankyou so much Littlelamb2.Im going to see my gynaecologist this morning for my aging scan :)

    I'm going to see my widwife when I'm home in the uk in 3 weeks and discuss it all with her.

    My big concern at the minute is I'm losing weight due to morning sickness and I'm already only 8 stone.I hope my Dr gives me something to take the nausea away as it's 24/7 xxx

  • How awful for you. Hope it passes. There are some wonderful, safe meds to relieve chronic morning sickness now. I had some with my first pregnancy. My sickness went by three months, hope yours goes quickly too x

  • Hi Littlelamb2..I'm just exhausted and if I'mnot sleeping I'm being sick.The Dr has put me on Caribbean so fingers crossed that will help :) xx

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