Keep the baby or abort the baby?

I'm 17 nearly 18 and I have just found out I'm pregnant,I would say I'm about 5 weeks. When the doctor phoned me and told me I burst into tears I couldn't believe it. Two months ago I came off the pill so I could be incontroll of my body but that clearly didn't go well. My boyfriend doesn't want a baby he feels like it will Ruien our life's and our future. His mum was 15 when she had him so he knows what it feels like to grow up with young parents and knows what it feels like to not have a lot because your parents can't afford it. He said he wants to wait till we are older and have enough money to provide for the baby. I understand him and agree with him but there's still this dout in my head and I don't think I'm 100% mentally ready to get rid of it. I really don't know what to do.

5 Replies

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  • This is a decision only you can make really. Being a young mum has it's pros and cons, but then so does having a baby at anytime. Do you have a good support network of family and friends as this can be a huge help whatever you decide to do. I was 19 when I had my first and she is now 21! I never once regretted having her.

    Of course your boyfriend is looking at this from a sensible point of view but has he thought about the implications of having to live with the decision of a termination? Either way you will both be affected by what you choose to do now. You both need to consider all options and look at what you can do if you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy. Is he working? Would you consider college/further education later on? There are so many options available and having a baby now isn't going to ruin your lives if you have a plan. Keep talking and seek support from those closest to you and who you can trust. There is probably a young parents group near you so it would be worthwhile finding out where and speaking to others who have been in a similar situation.

    All the best to you both xXx

  • Have you spoken to the rest of family and friends? Have you discussed with ur bf that you might wanna keep baby and what are his feelings about that? I think these are things to look into as they might alter your decision.other options could be to speak to your gp or ask to be referred to a termination clinic and they will discuss things with you as well before making any decision. But ultimately it's up to you

  • It has to be your choice hun. I know where you boyfriend is coming from, but you can struggle at any age. You have to follow your heart and make a decision you don't want to regret at a later date. I have struggled with my children financially as done most of it on your own. But believe me hun when they get older it's not what you could spend on them that they remember it's the time and love you gave them x

  • It can only be your choice at the end of the day, obviously the dad has to have a say but it is ultimately your decision. I'm 25 weeks now and had a really hard time at the beginning with similar issues - i've never been maternal in any way and never really wanted kids, but of course it happened. i'm 22 and was half way through my final year at uni, which due do medical reasons i have had to defer and return when i'm (hopefully) ready. I really struggled up to approx 20 weeks with prenatal depression and wanted to get a termination so much some days, but also from the beginning was unsure if i could actually go through with getting an abortion or not. i am much happier with everything now and feel that it's all going to be okay! :P whatever you decide it needs to be right for you, even if you have to battle some demons along the way. There's always a support network out there from family, friends and online if needed to get you through and give you advice/help. If you decide to keep it, there's lots of ways you can still go to uni and/or have a decent career with a child, i really dont think it will ruin anyones life. It'll be difficult i'm sure but very doable. Hope everything goes okay for you! :)

  • I think if you are going to have a termination it needs to be something that YOU more than anyone needs to be comfortable with.

    If you went ahead with a termination and it wasn't what you really wanted, it could be something that you live to regret. Would you hold it against your boyfriend? Would it spilt you up? Is your boyfriend just scared of having a baby/being a father? Would you raise a child alone?

    Lots of questions which I'm sure your asking yourself. Just don't do anything just to satisfy others. It's your life and intimately your decision.

    Good luck xx

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