47 Should I try for another baby?

Hi I am new to here and looking for some honest advice. I had a beautiful little girl at 44 naturally conceived and healthy. I am 47 and me and my husband are considering trying to have a brother or sister for her. I have two older children 23 and 21 so would like our daughter to have someone close to her age but not sure on my age. I will go and speak to doctor too. Thanks for reading.

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roxannacar

2 years ago

I think the decision is yours and your husbands alone, as you need to deal with the baby. Of course you need to be aware of the downsides - aka health wise you're more likely to run into issues starting with getting pregnant naturally in the first place (if ivf is something you would want it would have to be private and probably overseas), higher chances of issues like Down syndrome and issues with your own health. Of course it could all turn out fine. Also dealing with a new born and small child is v tiring. Of course you might be a v fit and active person anyways so you can cope with these issues more easily.

In the longer term issues eg financially retiring when having a teenager etc and other health issues you might be facing.

Don't mean to put a negative light on this, but you asked for honest advice and as I'm sure you can see what the positives are, so might be worth looking at the other side. But finally the decision is yours.

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Miss_slinky

in reply to roxannacar

2 years ago

Yes, these are very good points regarding difficulties conceiving, higher chance of miscarriage, higher risk of Down's syndrome etc. It's all worth bearing in mind as well. But then this starts at after 30 and I was so, so worried about it, due to all the scare stories in the media, I thought it would take years to conceive or never happen for us - it happened straight away. I almost didn't understand this - I literally hadn't even contemplated this might happen as the media is so downbeat on women over 30/35 having children! It's so hard to say...I know this sounds quite cut and dried but maybe write a + and - list with the family - the positives of it happening and the potential negatives and if you can counteract the possible negatives with support from family, just be prepared for all outcomes.

Miss_slinky

2 years ago

It's hard isn't it. I've just started and I'm 36 (!) and pregnant for the first time. I hope to have 2 before I'm 40 (fingers and toes crossed). Congrats on your family so far! I guess there are two schools of thought - it's your life, live it as you want to with your family or that it's potentially a bit selfish due to age.

I genuinely don't think there is any point asking random people that you've never even met what they think...it's a decision that you and your husband and your kids (!) need to make together. It's you as a family unit that counts, not anybody else's opinion. How do you feel as a mum just now? How do your older kids feel about it? Have you spoken to them? Would they support you and your husband if you had any ill health etc.? The thing is anyone of us could come down with bad health tomorrow, irrespective of age, so again - is this even a question worth asking?

I'm just posing questions to help you think about it. I've not got an opinion either way, I've a friend who was 45 when she had her first child and she dotes on her like nothing else & is the best mum. Sit and work it out with your whole family - not with strangers! I wish you all the best x

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Niktuck53

2 years ago

I am 49 and had my 4th baby 9 months ago at 48. My other daughters are 20,22 and 24. We used my wife's (35 y.o.) egg and had IVF and I carried her. It reduced the risk of chromosomal abnormalities. I was well through the pregnancy and gave birth at term. Now we are asking ourselves a similar question . It makes me feel a bit sad to think of her growing up without a sibling alongside her, as I can see how close her sisters are to each other . Although she is surrounded by love , I think you also learn so much from having a close sibling. I worry about little about being tired with 2 little ones, but that is inevitable . I also don't relish the prospect of the stresses of early pregnancy and fear of miscarriage . But I believe that once the pregnancy is well established , antenatal care is so good that you have a very good chance of all going well . Good luck with your choices , and remember that she is a loved and lucky child whichever way it goes .

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