Me and my partner are trying for another baby. I lost my first son at 22weeks pregnant and then got pregnant with my now 3yr old a few months later and had bad post natal depression after I had him, I couldn't hold him I could look at him without being angry with him, I didn't enjoy him, it sounds awful but I'm not sure I even wanted to be a mum to him till something clicked when he was around 6months old. All is fine now, he's my best friend and I love him more than ever and feel guilt every day at how I treated him and felt about him when he was born. I'm just wondering if anyone had any experience with having post natal depression with their first, and did it come back with the second baby? Etc... I'm terrified I am going to struggle again and not enjoy it. Which will also have an effect on my 3yr old son.