Post natal depression

Me and my partner are trying for another baby. I lost my first son at 22weeks pregnant and then got pregnant with my now 3yr old a few months later and had bad post natal depression after I had him, I couldn't hold him I could look at him without being angry with him, I didn't enjoy him, it sounds awful but I'm not sure I even wanted to be a mum to him till something clicked when he was around 6months old. All is fine now, he's my best friend and I love him more than ever and feel guilt every day at how I treated him and felt about him when he was born. I'm just wondering if anyone had any experience with having post natal depression with their first, and did it come back with the second baby? Etc... I'm terrified I am going to struggle again and not enjoy it. Which will also have an effect on my 3yr old son.

4 Replies

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  • I've not had personal experience of this. There's no hard and fast rule, but if you had it once you could have it again. I think the important thing about pnd is to be honest about it. When you get pregnant I'd make sure that your midwife and health visitor as well as family are aware of what you went through and to look out for the symptoms. At the first sign you should seek help as it could alter things dramatically. Sounds like you struggled on your own, and it doesn't have to be that way

  • Sorry to hear that you had such a hard time. I am also worried about pnd returning with my second. I was the opposite and didn't want my son out of my sight or reach. I didn't even want my husband picking him up.

    I feel that the good thing is, we are aware of it and can look out for the signs earlier on and ask for help.

    My midwife said that having it before means it can return but it's not definite. Just got to look out for the signs I guess!

  • I had pnd after my first child but this was not treated fully so when i ha my 2nd child it came back big time. It isn't a definite that you will get it again, i didn't get it after my 3rd. When you have had it before you know the signs when it starts. Talk to your midwives etc now and open up if you notice any signs as the sooner things can be done the better. Pnd is nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't beat yourself up about your son, it wasn't your fault and there was nothing you could have done. It helps talking and not keeping it all inside. Take care hun x

  • Don't be terrified and talk about things if you feel you aren't coping of feel low, it really helps to talk about it! I had PND with my first and I did get it with my second (I don't think it ever really went away as they are only 21 months apart) although it didn't really hit until I went back to work full time which had a big effect on me. I had CBT which did really help, thwe key is to be able to to spot the signs and speak up for help, go to your GP, there is a lot of support out there, don't suffer alone and take care of yourself xxx

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