I've had recent issues with my mental health including a drink problem which I have gotten help for. I am active in recovery and have really come a long way. A lot of my problems came about due to my struggling to accept I'd never be a mum, as I had had several miscarriages. I just could not seem to continue a pregnancy. It was these issues that really confirmed to us that we had to accept that children would not be in our lives. So we concentrated out efforts on being an amazing aunt and uncle to our nieces and nephews. I had finally come to a place where I felt some peace about it all.
I went to my GP complaining of cramping and other weird symptoms assuming that, like my mum, I was starting early menopause. I laughed when she suggested pregnancy. It turns out not only am I pregnant, I am almost three months! I've never made it this far.
I am very very happy. And very very dismayed. Firstly, I know things could still go wrong. I am cramping ( I just thought i was constipated.,.lol), and feeling generally weak and fatigued. No bleeding so far, and none of my previous pregnancies have ever gone this far. So it "looks" good. At the same time, I'm terrified that it looks good. I am scared I will be a bad mum. My husband is very supportive, but is worried about showing any excitement yet as in the past we have both been really disappointed.
I'm waiting for a call for a scan and have already seen a midwife...it all seems like it might actually happen...I have no idea how to be a mum. I know how to be a great aunt....but it's not the same is it?
I'm too old...too set in my ways, too non maternal..Maybe I can't do this?
I'm scared. Can anyone relate?