When does this end..?! : I feel like... - Pregnancy and Par...

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When does this end..?!

Miss_slinky profile image
28 Replies

I feel like pregnancy is training for having a baby. I'm like 11 weeks 3 days and I'm still utterly, utterly exhausted. I don't think people talk about this as much as morning sickness. I am so tired that I just feel really emotional today and it's not nice. Went out for a 5km walk at lunch time and really had to push myself round, everything and I do mean everything feels like an effort just now. All I want to do is sleep and emotions - wow - one minute I'm fine - next minute I'm crying for no reason. It's like being depressed this - on my walk I was thinking it's nothing short of a miracle that the human race exists and women continue to put themselves through this (can you tell it's my first?!).

I get home from work and make dinner and just don't want to do anything else, no cleaning, washing, organizing of anything etc. - I really need to sort it out (normally quite a clean freak). Any tips from anyone?! Does this end or does it just get worse - I'm not sure that I could deal with worse than this...

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Miss_slinky
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28 Replies

Hi, I can so relate. Hopefully your energy levels will return mid term. Mine did in previous pregnancies but just haven't had that at all this time. Plus I am in agony with SPD in my hips, pelvis. I can hardly walk it's horrible. I am so unprepared this time. I usually go on a huge nesting cleaning spree but just in too much pain and too tired to do it. Also have gestational diabetes and since they put me on insulin my exhaustion has knocked me out. Wanting to get our living room painted but even washing dishes and hoovering is a real effort! I manage to do a bit but nowhere near as much as I should. I wish I did have tips but I am literally a mess haha x

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to

Oh KatieKatie - what we gonna do??! I don't even know what SPD is. My pal was telling me your joints and bones do go a bit funny with (yet another) hormone in the second trimester and it can be really sore. I hope the pain goes away, sounds horrible. Sounds like you have a lot going on at the mo. Hope you are getting a bit of help at home?

I'm honestly the same - can just about fill the dishwasher and put a wash on and hang it up - the rest is just like a total chore that I simply don't have the energy for.

I did wonder if I could be having twins? I'm 36 and this is my first. Oh my word, just googled chances of having twins and yes goes up with age and with height - I'm 5'11! Oh wow, just want this scan to get the thumbs up baby is OK and see how many I'm dealing with lol...Scan is on 31st - bring it on....!

Really hope you are feeling a bit better soon x

in reply to Miss_slinky

Aw thanks will be better when she is out! Hope you feel better also. She is being born in 12 days but hey who's counting? Haha.

Yes SPD is when the gaps in your joints widen too much due to the hormones causing pain its mainly in your pelvis but I was born with dislocated hips so it agrivates that. Never really fully recover from the SPD I had with my 3rd. My hips are knackered. I was on crutches with him but had it in all my pregnancies. Hasnt been that bad this time but suddenly come on me late and it's painful probably the worst it's been so far. I am 38 and not having twins. My last though, too old now and my body is wrecked!

My husband helps he is very good. He's had time off work to help out with the kids. His work are really good like that. So it's not all bad thank you

Hope the scan goes well, it's so amazing when you see baby for the first time. It's all worth it x

Thingandgeorge profile image
Thingandgeorge

Awww I'm nowhere near 11 weeks butility I'm absolutely drained by 1pm and look forward to coming home after work just to sleep! If your body is tired don't push yourself x

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to Thingandgeorge

No, you are right! I just used to be so active before I got pregnant that I feel I'm going a bit stir crazy not doing the same level of exercise. So trying to keep walking quite a bit at least, to get some fresh air and a bit of exercise. A jog or two a week if I can. Bar that it's sofa, tv and bed! :D

ChrisWest1983 profile image
ChrisWest1983

Usually second trimester turns out to be the best- so stay optimist! I never suffered from exhaustion neither mood swings (only very sensitive sometimes - just imagining holding my baby some days can bring tears to my eyes) however, nausea was a joy killer for me. I managed cycling till week 20 (got uncomfortable) and now at nearly 28 weeks I just as came home from 1,5h walk (7km)- can't believe I might will give birth in 10 weeks! 😱 After 12 week scan the time has passed way too quickly. 10 weeks ago my bump hardly was visible and in 10 weeks it will be already gone.

Our bodies are just amazing!

And yes, I agree: pregnancy is like a preparation for baby! My boy has been up and kicking since 5am. I think maybe birds singing encouraged him, as those buggers wake up way too early!

Enjoy the 12 week scan! I was laughing so much when I saw my little one. I love the photo I have of him - it's my screen saver ❤️

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to ChrisWest1983

I'm so nervous about scan - I just want someone to tell me the baby is OK - I don't really know what they even look at at the 12 week scan (this is my first) - what are they looking for? Are they checking particular things?

Everyone says the second trimester is the best - bring it on!! :) :D I'm done with feeling this tired. I'd like to get back to the gym as well, even if it is just to cycle a bit and do some stuff. I was told by PT just to give it a rest totally in the first twelve weeks.

10 weeks to go - wow! Is this your first? Is the baby kicking quite violent? I say this MRI video of a baby moving inside you and it was absolutely unbelievable!

ChrisWest1983 profile image
ChrisWest1983 in reply to Miss_slinky

I remember I drunk as was advised 2pints hour before the appointment and I was waiting my name to be called as I was bursting for the loo. Then announcement came that the appointments are delayed and running nearly hour behind the schedule... 🙈 So at some point during the ultrasound I was sent to the toilet to have a wee so they can finish measuring up.

The beauty of 12 week scan is that baby is only few cm big so you can see all body on the screen and on the photo ❤️! I love seeing his head, little spine and cute little bent legs 😍 (Only thing I did not like was to see his movements - as the muscles are not yet developed and movements were not coordinated then he was floating and hectically trowing hands around)

They will check the number of fetuses, measure baby and estimate its weight and will do few other measurements (head and rump) , will estimate due date, where's the placenta and if you have enough amniotic fluids. I also chose to be screened for T13/18/21 so they measured behind baby's neck and took my blood. As I am 5'5 and partner 5'10 - in each scan baby's measurements are often 42%-75% so it evens out an average 50% but there's a lady who has appointment each time after me and she's tall like you and her partner is quite tall, also her baby's measurements are always reaching 65% -90%

Yeah - now my boy is developing his muscles by kicking mummy quite a lot (this morning we started at 5am) 😂 I am a bit tired, but sitting in my bathing suit in the house with garden doors open and legs outside (trying to get some Vitamin D from the sun) and knitting his first blanket.

Have a lovely day! The scan will put your mind at ease! Firstly I was thinking maybe not to have it but then I thought: I would wonder and imagine all kind of stuff so better if I will see and know what's in my belly (also was worried about having twins as getting older) 😋

ChrisWest1983 profile image
ChrisWest1983 in reply to ChrisWest1983

PS: yes, my first one. Also I have been gym and workout addict on/off (best are spinning classes) and at some points had six pack and now I think I am entering baby's 28 week growth spur and my abdominal muscles are being stretched so my tummy was all hurting yesterday and this morning. Midwife said it's normal and that probably there will be another growth spur around week 34 😩 A bit painful. I already worried that baby wants to come out and had a chat with him that it's too early and he's too small (around 1kg) and has not grown enough fat to keep himself warm. Glad he sometimes listens to me!

ChrisWest1983 profile image
ChrisWest1983 in reply to ChrisWest1983

Not sure if you'll be able to see the Facebook attachment - but if you can : I think that's what mine is up to 🙊

facebook.com/PregnantLife/v...

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to ChrisWest1983

Regarding the gym and stuff, I'm waiting to week 12 to go back to the gym - just for cycling and stuff. I was doing heavy duty HIT training and weight training before, but the gym (it's private) recommended that I leave it, to be on the safe side, they know how important this baby is to me. So I've just been jogging a bit and lots and lots of walks! I don't want to get really unfit.

Sounds like baby is making himself well and truly known with you! Wow. I can't imagine getting a really big bump. Not really sure how I'll feel about it! Seems such an odd thing. I'm on the Palmer's creams and Bio Oil already as I really don't want loads of stretch marks, whether it works or not, is another matter! :D

At least you know why you are having these pains, it's just the bambino stretching and growing!

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to ChrisWest1983

I'm with you on that one - mildly worried about twins as I was 35 when conceived and turned 36 other week, so I'm tick - old and apparently the taller you are, the more likely you are to have twins - eeeek! I doubt I am, there are no twins on either side but you never know...

I've heard everyone say the same about the scan and needing to go to the toilet, I'm sure I'll be the same. I am nervous but can't flipping wait to see it, nervous and excited in equal measure. I honestly was so pessimistic about the chances of conceiving due to my age (it ended up happening straight away the minute we decided to try - I blame the gym and dry January! :D ), that it actually came as a total shock to us, so to see it will definitely make it more real.

I have to say I'm freaking out about the size of baby I'll be carrying - I'm 5'11 and my man is 6'5 - I asked the midwife and she said she couldn't say at that point but at least if it was a larger baby, I'd have more room for it :)

I'm just back from a 5.5km walk at lunchtime - what a beautiful day....shame I'm back in the office now!

How quickly do they give you the results regarding the Down's syndrome tests? I've said to do them at the scan - same ones as you have had. Again you want to know straight away. I've just said testing wise, do what you need to - unless it's invasive, then I'll need to have a good think and discussion with family.

Have a lovely day x

ChrisWest1983 profile image
ChrisWest1983 in reply to Miss_slinky

I think my letter came within a week. Again - as we are older the risk increase :( well - my partner is much older than me so we thought it will take some time to conceive but once we agreed in September that we will start to try in Jan - by a surprise I fell pregnant in September - I think baby heard that we are so ready so it came to us straight away (I am so so happy as many friends have been trying for months / years with no results , my neighbours now adopted a 6m old as they tried ivf and no results and here's me- even did not try and got it -then again I come from a super fertile family, also no one smokes, no one drinks, no one's over weight, everyone's active!) Whilst I was waiting for the results I regretted doing them as I was so in love with my baby that I would love him however he was and those tests are giving the estimates. For example I got pregnant at age 33 and they calculated in that letter that the risk of Down's syndrome for us is 1:3,100 but a bit older mum got a result 1:150 and the Edward's & Patau's were for us estimated 1:24,000. They are just a bunch of numbers... my baby can be any in that sequence of 3100...

I have my fingers crossed that your scan will go very smooth! I am so excited for you!!!

Great that you're preparing your skin for that stretch! Me too- Bio oil/ coconut and other oils 2x day. (My mum had 5 kids and no stretchmarks, neither of sisters got them- so there's a hope I inherited similar skin, then again- I am much older than my sisters when they had their kids. Then again: our skin is more mature and looses its elasticity - so means: easier to stretch with no stretchmarks but harder to tone afterwards... Well- will see! At the end- We'll have baby to hold and love that we won't have time to worry about silver lines 😍

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to ChrisWest1983

They seem to be quite quick with all the test results, which is good. It's quite scary really but we'll wait and see. Fingers and toes crossed this lil' one is healthy.

Sounds like you have a super fertile family and good skin genes! My dad was like, why didn't you ask us about fertility and stop being so negative - apparently literally everyone in our family has got pregnant straight away too. We're all the same as you - non smokers, healthy, hardly drink (I was on dry January but do hardly drink anyway!), fit. The man is super fit and teetotal and younger than me. Should have maybe factored this in. However, I couldn't care less, it feels like this bambino wants to be born and we're more than happy to have him/her! :D :)

You are right the first priority will be the baby once it's born, not a couple of lines or us! Eeek, so excited! :)

becci81 profile image
becci81

This all sounds completely normal. Having my second - imagine the exhaustion when you have a 3 yr old running g round!

Most people think growing a baby is the difficult bit but in the first trimester you are basically growing a new organ (placenta) which is the same size as a liver . This is on top of feeling sick and in my case struggling to eat. I would advise you to rest as much as you can . Good luck

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to becci81

Oh I know, my sister in law has three, she said with her third, she had no energy at all, she'd have a shower and then just want to lie down again but have to entertain 2 other kids!

I hope you are feeling a bit better soon becci81! Oh and congrats on your second!

newtoallthis85 profile image
newtoallthis85

I'm 9 weeks and exactly the same! The only way to describe it is having a constant hangover and feeling like I've been out all night (without the fun)

Sooo tired everyday and like you as soon as I get through the door I just want to eat something beige and sleep. House is a mess and so am I! Have to force myself in the bath

Fingers crossed we're nearly over this stage, although I know there's worse to come!!

X

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to newtoallthis85

Hi newtoallthis85 - congrats to you! Yup, yup and yup haha - it is like a ridiculous hangover where you just want to veg in front of the TV, eat nonsense and do nothing :D except it's not just for a day, it's for months!

I know everyone keeps going on about how great the second trimester is but I've heard nothing about the third trimester - which I'm assuming means it's awful haha - a return of total tiredness, probably unable to touch your feet and moody as hell :P :)

I was proud of myself last night after work - managed to go to doctors and do a shop quickly, clean the bathroom, hoover the flat and clean the kitchen and do a wash and cook dinner. This was a momentous evening for me (comparative to last month) :P :D - I'm hoping it's a turning point! I'm a bit of a neat freak, so it's been really annoying me how lazy/exhausted/tired I've been.

I hope you are feeling better soon x

lauren1982 profile image
lauren1982

Hi Miss_slinky I'm nearly 10 weeks 34 years old and same as you was so active before I found out I was pregnant couldn't keep me out the gym and walked my dog several times a day . Now I'm lucky if I'm managing gym twice a week and my poor dog is suffering from lack of walks . My pregnancy was a surprise a pleasant one but I was so unprepared for feeling so rubbish and exhausted I'm nauseous all the time and when I do fancy eating its junk so that's probably not helping with the tiredness . This is really the most exhausting thing I've ever done and we aren't even stated yet . I hope you feel better soon - good luck with the scan and finding out if there is more than one in there 😱

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to lauren1982

Hi Lauren1982 - congrats on your news. Hope you feel better soon. I'm glad it's not just me that feels utterly crap at the moment (not that I'm wishing everyone to feel rubbish!) :P I've just turned 36 (!) and although we'd agreed to start trying, I didn't expect it to happen straight away, I was thinking it would take ages, so it came as a total surprise to us too as I'd been really negative about chances.

I was thinking that this morning about food - as they say the baby is kind of fully formed by 12 weeks, just needs to grow from there and I was thinking, have I eaten well enough the last twelve weeks...? Probably not to be honest, I normally eat really well and steer clear of carbs and eat loads of protein and veg and fruit. I've kind of had major carb cravings and been eating really beige, boring food that probably isn't that good for you. I've been eating some fish, eggs, nuts, lots of fruit, loads of water and taking pregnacare supplements - so I'm hoping that makes up for some of the not so good food I've been eating :)

I miss the gym and more intense runs but hey, you got to do, what you got to do...it's all for a good cause. I'm sure I'll be able to get out there at some point?! I'll need to - still got 7 sessions with personal trainer which is paid for!

Hope the tiredness goes away for you and you're feeling a bit better soon too! x

annieb27 profile image
annieb27

Hi hun I'm 37 weeks with my third she's a girl so explains it all as my boys were a breeze from start to finish I was tired n drained no matter if I had eight hours sleep crying over the smallest things crying at adverts that weren't even sad lol crying over the cardboard from toilet roll being left in bathroom just seems pathetic to most people but mine calmed down around week 17 but the morn ing sickness I still get at tea time and then the tiredness n lack of energy to do anything came back around 26 weeks n still have it along with the spd so tbh hun who knows everyone and every pregnancy different but u learn to just deal with it coz that's all u cam do hun just keep well hydrated makes u feel slightly better

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to annieb27

Hi and congrats on your third, a little girl!! I've come to the conclusion it's just training for the bambino! Crying - oh my, I've just cried over a video of a girl running a half marathon being helped over finishing line by two men when her legs caved and just now a programme on homelessness. It's quite annoying :D lol

annieb27 profile image
annieb27

Just think when baby's here it will have all been worth it only thing I keep telling myself lol

buckgi92 profile image
buckgi92

Hi

Just read this, I know it was posted a while ago. But I can completely sympathise.

Also beige food is the only answer in your first trimester, so don't stress. And my midwife agreed and laughed at that too!

I'm now 27+1 and I still feel exactly the same way. I can't wait to meet my little princess but I am seriously and I've sworn since about 6 weeks not doing this again!

I didn't get that wonderful glow and mermaid hair or strong nails everyones talked about. I'm just hungry and tired constantly, and to the point of having zero motivation. I'm still working full time plus all the over time I can do until the very last week of my pregnancy, which I'm sure isn't helping but unfortunately as people keep reminding me pregnancy isn't an illness (eye roll, sure feels like it).

I cry at everything and wonder how I can cope, but I know its going nothing to do with the love I will have so I'm not concerned about post/pre natal depression.

All I do is drink water and walk. But even walking for half an hour causes me to ache like I've done a half marathon. I'm having a normal low risk pregnancy so I'm incredibly lucky. But I cannot wait for it be over and to start feeling how normal actually does feel.

To be completely honest the people who are most understanding/sympathetic are the women who haven't had children as they can only imagine. I tend to find existing mums to be quite 'just get on with it'. And sometimes all you need is for someone to take pity and send you home from work early so you can lay in your pregnancy pillow and sleep....

Enjoy the good bits and cry through the bad bits. I know its going to be well worth all this hassle!!

Good luck xxx

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to buckgi92

Hi buckgi92, thanks for your message. It's the dose of reality I need! Glad I'm not the only one who feels like this & not all earth mother like!

You are right, many mums aren't the most sympathetic. I feel bad for my baby just now as I'm already fed up and I'm only 18 weeks 😀...got a long way to go!! I don't think I realised the reality of pregnancy, I thought you just got morning sickness and that was it. How wrong was I?!

In one sense I should just shut up as I've been doing well really. I've not had morning sickness, just utter exhaustion and emotional liability/breakdown times! And needing to pee ALL the time. I hope it returns to normal. I'm looking forward to birth (really!) and baby, I just really hope hormones settle after birth!! I don't like not being in control of emotions.

I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy and birth and rest assured you aren't the only one feeling this way 😘xx

buckgi92 profile image
buckgi92 in reply to Miss_slinky

Thank you! Makes you feel more human knowing that you aren't a terrible person for not loving being pregnant! Haha!

Good luck! We're going to be amazing mums. 👍🏻X

IsaacsMummy profile image
IsaacsMummy

Hi. I also suffered from this in the early days of my pregnancy, there's not really any telling how long it will last as every pregnancy is different. I'd say if you don't feel like cleaning etc then don't, or if you have a partner you could ask them to help out a bit more? Have your iron levels been tested? It's common for them to be low during pregnancy so could be an explanation.

Miss_slinky profile image
Miss_slinky in reply to IsaacsMummy

Thanks IsaacsMummy - I'm definitely better than I was (19 weeks now). It was really bad at the start. I still get tired quite easily however, I've got more energy to do stuff now. I did have my iron levels checked by midwife but it's the one test I didn't hear back about, so I'm presuming no news is good news! I'm anxiously awaiting the third trimester as I'm sure it comes back full force then :)

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