24,155 members9,881 posts

Having a second baby

I Have a 3 year old son who will be 4 this October, I feel like I want another baby but then get filled with dread when I think about all the lack of sleep and having to go through the terrible twos etc... what do people think is a good age gap? I know if I had one I'd manage as I'd have to. My son sleeps through but gets up between 5-6am. I'd be doing on my own. As me and my partner love seperatly due to him having 3 children from a previous relationship and our kids going to school/nursery 30mins from each other.

3 Replies

I think its a personal choice.. i was born 90 and brother was born 93. my step kids have 2 years between them, a lot of my friends who have multiple children have about 2-3 years between them. i am 29 weeks due in April and i want 2 children and will probably start trying again about April next year as i would rather get the younger years out of the way quickly. did you fall pregnant quickly first time as it took me 5 years, so i dont want to wait too long in case it takes just as long next time. Hope this helps x

1 like

2 of my oldest sisters has less than 2 year gap and so do my third sister and I (1y2months) It's fab to have a sibling similar age as we both grew up as best friend / nearly as twins (so did my older sisters: as my second sister was super smart - they moved her class up and she ended up graduating together with my oldest sister!)

I have a younger brother - 5 years younger than me. When I was a teenager I was not interested in him at all as different interests/priorities. Then I graduated and left country, went back 1-2x a year. Now he's a grown up man, has a job, family, child, but to me he's a stranger as I hardly know him... sad... However, I love when I go back for longer periods of time and they leave their daughter with me! So funny- I know my niece better than my brother.

What ever I just said here - you must listen to your self and how you feel about it!

Most my friends have children with age gaps around 2-3years.

So - good luck!

1 like


I have two children who are 4 years apart and I am currently expecting my third and there will be an almost 10 year gap and a 5 year gap. having the second was the best decision we ever made. My oldest adores her little sister and they play together all the time. They are best of friends. Because the oldest was a bit older when the youngest was born it meant that there was very little jealousy since the children wanted different things from me. The oldest was no longer a baby so she did not need the level of care but I was able to draw and read with her and to talk and interact while at the same time caring for an infant. The second was SOOOO MUCH EASIER than the first. You will not believe how much easier it is. You have your experience behind you, you won't panic so much, you will simply know what to do and well you have already adjusted to being a mum which lets face it is the worst bit. And finally, don't forget the oldest will help - will actually want to help because there is nothing better than feeling that they are the BIG one. Also, once the youngest is about 2, they will want to do nothing else than follow their older sibling around. Basically, I have pretty much been redundant as an 'entertainer' since then because they just want to play. At the same time because the youngest had to share and entertain by herself to a larger degree than the older one, the youngest is very content playing by herself at times. Hope this helps.


You may also like...