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As a result of my childhood I was physically, socially, emotionally abused by those who are supposed to protect me, and as a result I suffer with anxiety and depression, and I don't deal with stressful situations, and a as a result of this I kicked out at my eldest and resulted in a police caution and again my children played up and I hit out at my children I haven't heard from the police and the children services are now wanting to do a risk assessment but I am scared as I don't know what this entails, can someone please tell me what this means

3 Replies

Hi Steve,

It is unclear whether you are seeking advice based on a fear of repercussions or whether you are actually aware that you need help. I would strongly suggest talking to your GP about counselling and anger management as soon as possible in order to protect your children from any further outbursts.

I hope your children know that your anger is not their fault and they are not to blame.

I am sorry you have suffered as a child but please seek help.

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Hi Steve,

I imagine it took you quite some courage to write this post and ask for guidance. I'm sorry to read about your childhood or lack of it.

It is not uncommon for victims of childhood abuse to struggle with parenting themselves; if your only examples of parenting are negative ones then you have a steeper learning curve than those who had a happy/positive upbringing. It is clear, by the mere fact of you writing this post and asking for guidance, that you do want to be a better parent than those who failed you. I truly hope you succeed in this.

Firstly, your mental health. Are you already under the care of your GP? Are you medicated? Do you have a partner or close friends who know of your background and can support you? Have you attended counselling? Have you considered exploring some mindfulness techniques or classes to help you destress and cope with situations? It appears that there is a lot going on and you need to identify techniques which will enable you to manage your own mental health.

Secondly, children's services (CS). Please don't worry too much about them. Sadly, due to the media there are a lot of negative connatations to having children's services involved in your family but this really shouldn't be the case. Children's services are there for children, to protect them from having the childhood you suffered. They're there to help. They have the means with which to support you in raising your family, use them. Work with them in identifying what you need as a family to avoid the situations you've recently experienced. Sadly, CS caseworkers often experience sad and difficult cases, make sure yours isn't one of them. Build a partnership with them and take as much help and guidance as you need.

I have my fingers crossed that with the right support you and your family will heal. Good luck.


Social Services do a risk assessment too see that the Children are Safe with you.

They may want too speak to your Children but you too need to tell them about your Family History.

It's not your fault, your angry about your past and unhappy.

Social Services can help you like me suffered Domestic Abuse, mental abuse at the hands of my X.

Your GP would be a good start too as he can help. You might need Counselling and it shows SS that your doing your best to gett help and for The Children.