Anxiety in pregnancy - First baby : I am 12 weeks... - NCT


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Anxiety in pregnancy - First baby

Jessica2017 profile image

I am 12 weeks pregnant today. I am a sufferer of anxiety and in the past some depression also. I have been on anti-depressents for a long time now and me and my GP had spoken about all of the pros and cons of this before I tried to conceive and we agreed it is safer for my baby if I am on them.

I was so desperate to fall pregnant and so excited for the first few weeks of pregnancy but then the nausea and tiredness kicked in and I felt so low! I then started feeling awful and guilty for feeling this way! My midwife has said it is all normal and due to raging hormones but my worries keep me awake at night sometimes.. I worry about the pregnancy, about my baby being healthy, about whether I will bond with it and love it!

Anyone else been having similar problems? Any comments would be greatly appreciated x

23 Replies

The nausea and tiredness is so mentally and emotionally draining. I'm 23+6 now and I had a lot of worries at the start particularly about the health of my baby and I would be up all night worrying about it. I think it is normal and something a lot of mums experience. However if it is really beginning to get on top of you I think your midwife should be able to provide you with more advice or refer you to somebody else who can.

The best thing you can do is look after yourself - by looking after yourself you are looking after your baby. If you have any concerns that anything is wrong then contact your midwife immediately as it's better to be safe than sorry.

You're not on your own Hun, if you need anybody to talk to my inbox is always open.

All the best


I really appreciate the reply thank you so much!

My midwife did refer me to the mental health team for pregnancy at my local hospital but they have written me a letter saying they do not need to see me but let them know if things get worse as they are there to help!

I have my scan on Monday so I think that will finally put my mind at rest! x

Yeah your scan will help to put your mind at ease! And also the morning sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy too. I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine! Xx

Women who take drugs(heroine and crack) and drink throughout their pregnancy have (not healthy) successful pregnancies. Ur body's under a lot of stress at the moment but I promise u that it will be worth it! I had ptsd from a miscarriage so I was stressed to the max when I fell pregnant again all I can recommend is surround yourself with people that are really supportive, keep busy start looking at classes and keep active join a pregnancy yoga group. Mingle with other mums I found it comforting that all pregnant women worry about everything!!! It's not just me being mad!! 😊 Never feel guilty for how u feel find a way to express it. I'm 41 weeks now (overdue 🙁) but I swear to u once u see ur baby in a scan and feel it move for the first time that love and bond will grow just enjoy it. Eat whatever u fancy, sleep whenever u need to, pamper yourself as much as u can.

Always talk to ur doctor and midwife about how ur feeling. X

Hey Jessica,

Firstly huge congratulations! Eeek! I've been exactly the same, I'm almost 23weeks, and I'm better now, but I'd say the first 20weeks I was horrendous, really low and feeling bad for feeling low. I too have suffered with depression before and I couldn't really see how I was going to overcome these negative thoughts. My GP has put me on sertraline, although I've run out as it was a 2 week trial and with Christmas etc the surgery hasn't been open for me to have a review and a new prescription. I am feeling loads better though, so I have complete faith you will too! Not sure if my feelings were down to just hormones, or depression, but I don't think I've had the anti-depressants long enough to say they've helped? If that makes sense.

You will worry about your baby, I've had all the same thoughts, I'm sure you'll be fine, the best thing to do is to make sure your GP and midwife are aware of the feelings and to keep talking about them.

Wishing you all the very best,

Alice xx

Hi Alice,

What a lovely message. Thank you so much! That has put my mind at ease.

I had the first scan yesterday and I felt an overwhelming urge of love and protection so I know how much I want this baby it's just the evenings mainly when I have too much thinking time and I overthink EVERYTHING! I don't think this time of year helps either to be honest.

My family and friends have all told me to wait until I feel the baby moving and the bond becomes even stronger!

Good luck with everything xx

Hey Jessica!

Sounds as though we're kindred spirits! I'm a huge over thinker and I think cause this is all so new to both of us it's easy to over think even more! Though I never thought I could over think more! :-)

My baby (a girl-I'm too impatient, had to find out!) Issue wriggling around like nobody's business and it's an amazing feeling! She's a right little wriggler and it-shirt true what your family have said the connection you feel then is amazing. Although adds to the overthrowing if they don't move. And Google is not your friend! When you have your 16weeks they can listen to its heartbeat. Some places don't seem to automatically offer it though - my friend's hospital didn't, so just prompt them if they don't because they have the equipment! My midwife let me record it. It sounds amazing! You'll love it!

I'm pleased you're feeling better and that the scan went well! Eek it's all so exciting!

Good luck with everything! Xx

Hi Jessica,

I can relate a little as I also suffer with anxiety but came off the propranolol I was prescribed when we started trying as I'd had CBT which had helped a bit. I'm 21 weeks and it's also my first baby so I was so overwhelmed and excited when I found out at 4 weeks.

Then I felt utter rubbish had intense back spasms, got back to back coughs and felt so sick and lethargic all the time I felt really down, I couldn't even make dinner for me and my partner as the smell of the kitchen knocked me sick so I felt guilty and stressed. It's really tough and people don't talk about how it affects you in the first few months.

I have had a few anxiety blips along the way but if you are anything like me I promise things get better around week 16. I feel amazing now so much more energy no sickness and his kicks reassure me all is ok. You will get through it don't let yourself feel bad you can only do/think/ feel what you can just rest up and know it will improve. Hope this helps in some small way.

Jessica2017 profile image
Jessica2017 in reply to Kerri88

Thank you so much for the lovely reply. It is so reassuring to know it is not just me and I'm not alone xx

Hi Jessica

I too suffer from Anxiety. I'm 25 weeks and I have been on Citalopram for nearly 2 years.

What you are going through is completely normal. I found out I was pregnant when I was already 6 weeks! At first I was excited and couldn't believe it and then the symptoms started! I would wake up feeling sick, get through the day at work and then get home and feel like I was crumbling. I couldn't make dinner and when I could I could barely eat it due to nausea. I was never actually sick but felt awful most days. It really took its toll on me emotionally and physically.

I carried on taking my tablets and just took everyday one step at a time.

By the time I got to 16 weeks the nausea had stopped and I felt amazing! No more tiredness and I could make dinner again! The last few weeks have been awesome - I feel like me again!

Now I'm 25 weeks, I've got back pain which seems to be high up and my ribs have started to hurt. It's worse when I sit down which is horrible when I'm tired and all I want to do is sit on the sofa. I'm coping ok at the moment but it has started to get to me. I'm still taking my tablets as I do believe they help my mood. I'm taking my own advice and taking one day at a time and will start doing some stretches to hopefully relieve some of this pain.

I plan on taking my tablets all the way through my pregnancy and after as pregnancy is difficult enough without the challenge of a mental illness!

Just remember what you are going through is completely normal and there are lots of us out here who are doing it with anxiety so don't be afraid to speak up xx

Jessica2017 profile image
Jessica2017 in reply to LucieT87


Thank you so much for the lovely and reassuring reply! It really does mean a lot xx Good luck with everything xx

When my sister in law fell pregnant her GP said to come off antidepressants, but she felt much the same. When she spoke to her midwife she suggested going back on them and said she has lots of mums-to-be that still/start taking them as it's much better for mum and baby to be feeling well. Perhaps ask your midwife if she thinks that might be an option, as you shouldn't have to be feeling like this.

Maybe try a low dose and see if that helps you to start with?

But also remember the turmoil of emotions and guilty feelings are completely normal. Your body and mind are going through a huge adventure, and I'd say the fact you are feeling the way you are means you are already a wonderful mummy 😊 x x

Jessica2017 profile image
Jessica2017 in reply to Beth235

What a lovely message! Thank you so much xx

Hi Jessica,

You have received some wonderful posts above and I agree with all of them. It is clear from your message that you are very self aware and managing your condition which is exactly what you need to do for the health of your baby.

Your feeling awful, and in turn guilty about feeling awful, are perfectly normal and as your midwife described caused by your hormones being all over the place. Most women go through something similar when they are pregnant but you are doing so alongside a mental health condition which is really difficult. Cut yourself some slack, take a deep breath and know that you are doing amazingly. Continue talking about your feelings with healthcare professionals, your family/friends and here, the worst thing you can do is keep them bottled up.

As for being kept awake at night by your worries, you need to try and do something about this. Your body is doing something incredible, it is creating a human being, and it requires a lot of energy to do so. Your rest is vital in pregnancy. Have you tried taking a bath before bed to soothe your body and mind, or using lavender to aid a good night's sleep? If struggling with sleep continues I think you should speak to your midwife about it.

Finally, bonding with your baby. From your message I think it quite clear that you've already begun that process. You are already worried about your little one's well being and looking to safeguard him/her from harm. I have no concerns at all that you are incapable of loving your son/daughter! It must be said though that once your little one arrives your hormones will again be everywhere and sadly no one can predict how this will impact upon you or your mental health condition. Whilst I hope that the postnatal hormone roller coaster will have little impact upon you I think it would be wise for you to prepare yourself for the other possibilities. You can do this by continuing what you are doing now; being open about your feelings and concerns and by reading/discussing postnatal depression. Sadly, mental health services in the UK are limited but help is out there should you need it. You can ask your midwife or GP to refer you or you can self refer if you know of a service nearby. Fingers crossed you don't need them.

I wish you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy and beyond!

Such lovely words thank you so much xx

Aww I really feel for you. I struggled a lot with anxiety that I developed from the beginning of pregnancy for fear of losing due to many of my friends’s experiences. I struggled to talk about anything pregnancy-related as I didn’t want to curse anything and refused to buy anything baby-related for a very long time.

I mentioned this when I saw my midwife early on who recommended I saw my GP. My GP referred me for talking therapy (counselling) which has a little wait and through my work I was able to get free counselling sooner which really helped me. I was cynical about counselling but can say hand on my heart it was the best thing for me. My heightened anxiety calmed down around 24 weeks of my pregnancy - not to say my worrying disappeared completely though as I think most pregnant women will have some worries throughout the pregnancy and then worry in general as mums! However, the level of anxiety I had previously was really out of proportion and changed how I was significantly. At its worst I was too scared to get up out of bed in case I ‘did’ anything that could risk the pregnancy.

I also joined a pre-natal yoga group to help me relax and met others there who have been lovely to chat to and we support one another. I think being pregnant can be an isolating experience depending on your circumstances but even more so when experiencing anxiety and/or depression because you may not want to talk to anyone about it and I definitely withdrew from close friends (also because I was scared of jinxing anything in the first trimester and also because none of them have been pregnant before and I felt may not really understand how I was feeling). One of my best friends in fact made me feel guilty for feeling anxious and said ‘don’t you realise how lucky you are?’ when that was not the point and in fact she made my anxiety worse so I had to distance myself from her.

If anything, please see if you can get referred for some talking therapy or counselling. It may not work for everyone but again, as someone who was so cynical and after 2-3 sessions I thought ‘is this actually doing anything?!’ - well it did. So I really hope it can help you too. Other things like meditation and yoga can be effective as well. Smiling Mind is a free mindfulness/meditation app (as I didn’t want to pay for Headspace). It took a few attempts but after a week of trying I found the mindfulness and breathing activities and keeping a written journal invaluable.

hi so wonderful messages I was angshous when I found out I was pregnant with my second baby thinking my 7 year old son will not like me being pregnant because he is from a previous relationship with my ex and now I have a new boyfriend and my son likes my boyfriend and I let my son help me out threw my pregnancy

Hi! This is me down to a t! I am 10+3 today and a FTM too and my worries pre-Scan about this baby are doing my (and my husbands) head in! I’m convinced something is wrong, though I literally have zero reason to, it’s so hard isn’t it? I have my dating scan in 2 weeks, getting scared of it already... if you ever need to chat just let me know!

Willow321 profile image
Willow321 in reply to KBot17

I feel exactly the same!! I’m only 6+5 so ages away from my first scan . I’ve debated a private scan but the times are wrong for my husband so would need a wknd which means we’ll be so close to 12 weeks there’s no point.

Always here for a chat!! Feel free to send me a message. It’s scary being a first timer and not knowing what to expect!

Hi I sympathise. I've been worried about all sorts of things and people keep saying to me it's so exciting but I don't feel it. I've felt very overwhelmed at times as doing it on my own. I've just tried to take it one stage at a time but am getting some support from mental health team and have paid for some private counselling. I think don't beat yourself up about it and just try to make sure you have support and can talk things through with people. Happy to help if I can x

Seb9 profile image
Seb9 in reply to May37

I think the original post is 4 years old now, so you may not get a response from the op. Congratulations on your pregnancy xx

May37 profile image
May37 in reply to Seb9

Hi seb yes realised after thanks. Not sure why it Came up in my news feed

Seb9 profile image
Seb9 in reply to May37

That's good I didn't want you to feel ignored xx

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