HEART BROKEN

I had a scan today at 36+6, my baby girl has been head down since 27 weeks but this week she has decided to turn and is now breech, I also have gestational diabetes and she is weighing a massive 9lb 13 oz, I no these estimates can be wrong but my point is the doctors don't want me to have a natural birth they are insisting on a c section, im gutted by this, I feel like I have let my baby down and im really sad, how terrible is a c section? im worried I wont bond with her if I cant deliver her vaginally, am I being stupid?

10 Replies

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  • In all.honesty hun i think you are letting your emotions get away with you. A csection doesnt mean youve let yourchild down. Your going to put your body through hell just in a different way to a natural birth. Clearly drs are concerned about both yours and your childs safety.

  • I understand how you feel I had obstetric cholestasis and went in for an inducement at that point I was about 60% sure I'd end up with a c section. I was right mine was an emergency and although not pleasant it was not that bad I was up and about the same day and I've been told by many people a planned one is much better. As for not bonding I can't answer if it's any different from an natural birth but as long as they give her to you for skin to skin as soon as they can which for me was about 5-10 (it was hard to judge time) minutes after he was born and I feel totally bonded and I only managed to breastfeed for a week. Good luck you'll be fine xx

  • There's no reason you shouldn't bond.... honestly I don't think squeezing out a baby from a birth canal has anything to do with bonding .... otherwise dads would never bond with their children! If a c section is the safer option then you let your child down by going against the safe option not by making sure they have the best chance of being healthy.

  • I had a vaginal birth but couldn't hold my baby for several hours because I needed surgery. This meant he wasn't with me during the period they say is critical for the breastfeeding relationship. Nevertheless we are still breastfeeding 4 months later and I can't imagine a stronger bond is possible. I'm so in love with him and I love his warm smiles when I go to his cot in the morning and when he gazes up at me during a feed. I'd recommend following your doctors' advice because an elective c section could see you reunited with your baby much faster than I was with a vaginal birth that got complicated. Very best of luck - not long now!!! And of course you haven't let your baby down!!!! I know what you mean - I felt bad that I maxed out on all possible drugs after the first day of labour but honestly, he's such a smiley, happy baby I don't believe it has made any difference.

  • Hi, I had an emergency c-section as my baby wasn't growing properly. He spent a little while in hospital and I didn't hold him for two days. I don't think this has affected our bond at all! He in 9 months old now and we are so close, he always has a smile and giggles for me! I also didn't breastfeed him as he wasn't strong enough for a long time and by the time he was strong enough he just wanted the bottle, I don't think this affected our bond either. Try not to worry about it too much the worry you have already shows how much you already care for your baby I'm sure you will be fine!

  • Hi.

    Good luck with your birth. I hope it goes well.

    Bonding happens after the delivery- a c section won't change that. You are not being stupid. X

    Vaginal delivery of a large baby can carry risks....

    Sorry this is TMI- don't mean to scare you, but if I had had the choice of a c- section I would have taken it if I knew an emergency vaginal delivery of a large baby could be so hard to recover from.

    I had a traumatic emergency vaginal delivery.....

    TMI......

    ...................

    Induced due to pre-eclampsia, baby got stressed, had emergency forceps and episiotomy, baby 9lb- could not push her out in the hour they gave for emergency birth, cut through blood vessel, I lost a litre and needed a transfusion, was in lots of pain from the stitches for 6 weeks, got an infection in the wound needing 3 types of antibiotics, my breastmilk was delayed due to the blood transfusion but no-one told me and my baby got dehydrated and was put on formula feeding plan, my blood pressure would not stabilise on drugs and I was kept in hospital for 9 days, and now 11 weeks later I still can't poo properly but there's no explanation from doctors and I just have to take laxatives and hope the recent pelvic physio referral I fought for helps..........

    .................

    I have bonded with my baby since the birth, I worked hard to build up my breastmilk supply with expressing.

    My two friends who had a ceasarians at same time as my birth are physically recovered and have strong bonds with their babies; my body is still a mess after my vaginal birth.

    Many vaginal births are fine, but if your doctors advise a c-section, then my advice is go for it.

    X

  • You'll be fine, a section is not a nightmare, cuddles and contact make the bond, not delivery method. My baby was born via c section at 29 weeks as I had pre - eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. I couldn't hold him till the 2nd day as he was so tiny. I expressed milk and he was tube fed until he was big enough to breastfeed, after 5 weeks, and he came home after 7 weeks. We had no problem bonding and have a great relationship, still breastfeeding at 10 and a half months. Good luck x

  • The only thing that is important is the health and safety of you and your baby, not how they got hete. I had a planned c section because of placenta previa, and I had a great experience. Once baby is born you will forget why you were upset x

  • I had a c section as my baby was breached and the 1st doctor said it would be 9lb when delivered which got me worried , apparently this doctor isn't all that good and I complained and when my baby was born she was 7lb 4, get a second opinion on the weight of the baby to put your mind at ease.

    C sections I was worried more about the needles but the NHS are wonderful people put my mind at ease had a laugh with them and made the experience better as I am a worry wort. Ithink I have bonded with her as she just seems to sleep in my arms now and not in the basket lol. They will lay the baby down on you skin to skin contact after the cord is cut and after the vitamin injection they give.

  • I've had 2 C Sections out of my 3 births. Had an emergency C section with my first as he was head down and facing the wrong way and got stuck. I had a forceps birth with my 2nd as the same thing happened. I elected for a C section with my 3rd due to the problems I'd had before. C Sections weren't as bad as I thought. I had absolutely no problems bonding with my babies afterwards. Hope that puts your mind at ease.

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