Pregnant and over 40 😞

Hi everyone, 

I am 44 and last Friday, 1st April, I got a bfp........no it wasn't an April Fool......but it was the last thing I was expecting to happen!!! I have 5 children with my ex, we were together 20 yrs and our youngest is 15 this yr......I have been with my new partner for a yr now he is 43.........we are still in shock, I did 3 testso just to make sure lol and I've seen my GP and now I'm waiting for a scan date bcos not 100% on my dates but think I'm coming up to 6wks which gives me an edd 9th Dec.

I am so anxious though bcos of all the risks i face with being over 40 and the scanning come soon enough!!! I am having all the symptoms nausea, sensitive to certain smells, going to the loo a lot,  cramps, tender boobs etc and I haven't had any bleeding 😊

We've decided not to tell anyone until after my scan but I am going to burst so I thought I'd join a forum and chat to other Mums on here.

Congratulations to those of you who have recently had a bfp btw exciting times but scarey as well!!

xxx

35 Replies

oldest β€’ newest
  • Well, a woman aged 55 just had triplets in the UK so you're young compared to her! Congratulations, I assume your age just means you will be closely monitored with extra scans and I think they also section older mothers. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!

  • Oh and it sounds like you'll have no shortage of babysitters either 😊

  • Tlove I hope when you say section you mean csection and not in a mental health capacity πŸ˜‚!!! 

  • πŸ˜‚ yes, don't worry, not that type of sectioning!!!

  • Thank you Tlove and yes must admit I got a bit worried when you said older Mums get sectioned lol xx

  • πŸ˜„ Hope I didn't add to your anxiety!! I'm on my first pregnancy at 37, at least you've been there before and actually know how to change a nappy! I'm so clueless. As Dublin says, as long as you stay healthy and take care of yourself, you should be fine. My grandmother was in her 40s when she had my mum and they didn't have the same level of care back then. The extra scans will be reassuring too. I'm having twins so have been getting loads of scans. A friend had told me about mums over 40 getting c-section, I guess it's just something to ask your doctor about.

  • Hi there....i'm 44 and recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I have two kids from a previous relationship and they are now 22 and 23 years old so huge gap....but they adore their baby brother and if you have older daughters they can be a huge help...lol. I definatley enjoy this baby more being older and find i have the patience of a saint being an older mum, but do find it physically challenging and being at home and not at work took a lot of getting used to. If you have a supportive partner then it definatley helps unfortunatley i don't his useless. Congratulations on your pregnancy....eat as healthy as you can and stay as active as possible as it definatley helps. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy and enjoy your beautiful bundle of joy!πŸ˜†πŸ˜

  • Wow!!! Congratulations! I can well imagine your anxiety at having a baby at 44 but equally I see no reason why you should be worried!!! Im 37 almost 38 and 21 weeks pregnant with my second and had similar anxieties. However, I am fit and well, I'm not a smoker or a drinker and do my absolute best to walk everywhere and eat a balanced diet. If we look after ourselves there's no reason why we shouldn't have great pregnancies. Good luck to you!!!xx

  • Thanks Dublin77 yes I agree with you, I stopped smoking about 6mths ago and I'm not a big drinker, I don't drive so I walk everywhere so fingers crossed my healths not that bad. I do need to watch my weight but eating healthily when not feeling sick, bloated or suffering from indigestion lol good luck to you with your second pregnancy 

    xx

  • Congrats! I can imagine you're anxious but being an older mother now a days is much more common and even though the extra scans are annoying it's good to be reassured about the progress of things. Re section I'm not sure that's always a definite esp if you 5 children before, but obviously it's something to discuss with your midwife/consultant. 

  • Thanks roxannacar and yes the midwife I spoke to on the phone the other day said most of her Mums-to-be are late 30s and early 40s atm I think bcos I already have children who are older I'm worried how they will react as well πŸ˜• as for having a section I think you're right, I had all my other children naturally with no problems

    xx

  • Hi Kazzalee, if it helps my older brother and I were 13 and 17 when my youngest brother was born. My mum was very worried about how we would react but we absolutely loved it and doted on him. We have a very close relationship even now, mid twenties but still our baby 😍!!! I'm sure you're children will be delighted once the initial surprise has passed!!!xx

  • Hi Dublin77 

    Me and my brother were 16 & 13 when our baby brother was born......he's 28 now and we've always had a great relationship, he lives in Canada now and I miss him like crazy, my Mum was 42 when he was born but we had the same Dad and I think that can make a difference, not all my children like my partner, I had a volatile relationship with their Dad and left because of domestic abuse which has made them be over protective of me and now no one is good enough!! 

    xx

  • Hi Kazzalee. 

    Totally know what you mean about needing to talk. I'm 8 weeks and having to bite my tongue. First time for me though. But good grief, the early day symptoms are a real pain and wierdly debilitating. No doubts you'll be grand- all the best with T1 and beyond. 

  • Congratulations πŸ˜€

  • Just want to reiterate what almost everyone has said. You will be fine, just keep healthy etc. If it helps my aunty had two kids when she was 40 and 44 and everything was ok.

    Wishing you all the best xx

  • Congratulations! Hopefully it won't be long until you can share your exciting news!

  • Congratulations!  I had a healthy baby @42 18 months ago. We are ttc but I had a chemical pregnancy this week.  I am 44 now and u have given me hope!  Hope all goes well for u!  

  • Hi Ronnie12 

    Thank you and I hope you are successful in ttc, I am still coming to terms with the fact I'm pregnant @44!!! I'm worried about my health as I am already overweight so I am trying to eat healthier now but it's hard when I feel sick on & off all day, my midwife has reassured me that a lot of women are having children in their 40s now and my own Mum had my brother @42 and I was so excited when he was born (in was 16) but unfortunately 3 out of my 5 children do not like my partner and I am terrified they are going to let it affect how they feel about their brother/sister πŸ˜”

    xx

  • Omg congrats I know the feeling...well I was with my husband (partner then) for 8 yrs never no hint or clue we got marry then 3 months later I was 10 weeks now this was my first n he's 5th he's baby was 12 now 1 yr later we have a baby girl CONGRATS ENJOY YOUR BLESSING!!!God works in many ways 

  • It's a blessing God don't make no mistakes this is wonderful congrats again on this New improved journey

  • Congratulations to you, you will do just fine. I had my fourth around a similar age in 2015. I was put under the consultant due to a grand age. God is the greatest as the Doctor came to see me once and said that I didn't need him. My waters broke at midnight and was in the labour ward 30 minutes later then our miracle arrived 04:30 am with no complications, no stitches and was discharged exactly 6 hours after the birth

  • Eat well, stay active and God willing you will be okay. My eldest who is turning 20 years end of this week asked me what I was doing when I first told her, she was shocked but soon came around and now thinks she is the mother of this sweet angel. My kids are almost 20, 9, 5 and 1.

  • Hi everyone and thank you so much for your positive comments it definitely helps 😊 I've just opened my mail and I've got a scan THIS Thursday......I wasn't expecting one for another 3/4 wks I don't know whether to laugh or cry......I want to know everything is ok but obviously bcos of my age there is a higher risk of there being complications πŸ˜•

    I hope everyone else is feeling well atm 

    xx

  • Good luck for Thursday! Be sure to keep us posted!!xx

  • Hi kazzalee, how was your scan?x

  • Hi Dublin77 

    My scan went well ended up having an internal one.......everything as it should be atm approx 6wks so think my dates must be right giving me an edd 9th Dec and we saw the heartbeat 😊😊😊 

    I will have another scan at 12wks 

    Thanks for asking 

    xx

  • That's great news, at 6 weeks I would always expect an internal scan as baby is too small too be seen otherwise. Hopefully 12 weeks should be abdominal. Also dates might change at 12 week scan as it is more accurate with dating rather than at 6 weeks. 

    Exciting! 

  • Oh wow! You saw the heartbeat really early, that's great! I wasn't able to see a hb when I was scanned at 6 weeks, it wasn't until my 8 week scan that I saw it so it's very reassuring for you to have seen that and also measurements matching your dates. And yes, scanning early before 12 weeks is normally internal which is also more comfortable because you don't need the full bladder from what I remember!

  • Hi kazzalee,

    Im in a very similar position to you. I already have 6 children ages, 24,22,19,16,11&9, and recently discoverd i was pregnant. I was under the impression that i was menopausal being 43, and had a massive shock discovering i was pregnant! My husband and i went through  the stages of shock, disbelief and worry, and we booked a termination. A few days before the planned termination we have decided have the baby. My husband is terrified for my health and we are worried sick about telling our children and family! We have recently become grandparents also! Very scary time but was relieved to find this site and see that im not the only one in this position. I hope everything works out for you, stay strong  πŸ˜Š

  • Hi Melxx 

    How are you getting on? I've been really sick and very tired.......not told my children yet I'm dreading it!!

    Have you told yours or are you waiting until you're further on?

    I don't want to tell mine until I've had my 12wk scan and hopefully everything will be ok with that so I can reassure them 

    How old is your Grandchild?

    xx

  • Hi kazzalee

    Sorry to hear youve been sick, ive just suffered with the exhaustion! We sat down and told the kids, as my husband suggested that i would need more help while he works long hours, it worked out well, mixed emotions but all said they suport us. So glad we got it over with as it was really stressing me out! Im still waiting for the midwife to contact me, how about you? Our grandaughter is 10 months old, going to be strange her havingvan aunt/uncle thats younger than her :/  i really hope your feeling better soon 

    Best wishes xxx

  • Wow how lovely sweetheart I wish you a massive congrats I'm 40 expecting my 5th child I too feel worried etc about the tests but try not to be just take a day at a time & try & enjoy your pregnancy xxx

  • I am six weeks and 40 . I have a sixteen year old. I'm scared of all the horror stories scares and being old. It feels like everything is against us, but last night on the to I saw a mum who had had her first at 41 and the 43 her second ,very healthy normal family. Maybe we will be fine, I totally understand your worries and I haven't told anyone either!!

  • Hi I'm 41 and having my 5th baby I have a 22 , 14 , 13 year old and have a 10 month old and am due my next baby on 5th Nov 16 , my 2 baby's are with my partner of 4 years and my older 3 are from my marriage , I was worried my kids would react badly but they love their baby brother loads and am expecting another boy , I find I'm tired this time round as so busy with baby and am worried when new baby comes due to lack of sleep and don't do well without my sleep , hope your getting on well with your pregnancy xxx

You may also like...