Confusion

I was on the pill and found out at 7 weeks that I was pregnant very scary!! I am finding it so hard and hardly anyone to talk to, I keep arguing with my partner not sure if this is hormones or the fact I don't feel he does enough and also trying my best to stop smoking but every time I get stressed I end up going to the shop for some! I have my first scan next week and scared something will be wrong :(

4 Replies

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  • Congratulations on your news. I am sure you want the best for your baby. Highly unlikely taking the pill while not knowing has done any harm, there is no evidence on this. You have to try and quit smoking, this is what will have adverse effects on your baby. Children whose mothers smoked during pregnancy are especially vulnerable to asthma, and have double or even triple the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Babies whose mother smoked in the first trimester of pregnancy are more likely to have a heart defect at birth e.t.c You can see your Gp for help on quitting while waiting for your appointment with your midwife. As for arguing with your partner, it is definitely the hormones playing harvoc. Pregnant women are over sensitive and hope this will settle. All the best to you.....

  • Thank you so much for your reply really appreciated I am having 1 - 3 cigs a day not every day just when I'm stressed so that is definitely my priority to find another stress buster! I have my scan next week so I'm

    Just worried something will

    Be wrong but think this is a normal feeling so I'm being told xx

  • Hi, You're right that everyone worries something will be wrong at the scan. I was really sick before mine from nerves. I wonder if you may be arguing a lot as you say the baby was a surprise to you both. I think women take these things better than men do. Men can close up and won't talk and also find it very hard to accept that the baby is real until it really shows or even arrives! Any niggling issues you have now will only get bigger as you get more tired or when the baby arrives and you have less time together, so I recommend meals together at the table when you both have time (not breakfast when you're rushing for example) and both honestly discuss what you are thinking. Ask questions about how he is coping and listen and ask him to do the same for you. Pregnancy and having a baby is tough and completely wonderful for a relationship, but you need to stick together as a team and accept each others failings and say something positive and thank each other every day for the little things. Men like their contributions to be noticed, however tiny! I also think if you want help, spell it out precisely as the men I know can't read signals!

    I have never smoked so have no concept of how hard it is to give up. I imagine it is very hard. But while are trying, EVERY time you light up, close your eyes and concentrating hard, visualise your beautiful tiny baby. It's innocent eyes, it's perfect tiny feet and fingers, it's silky soft hair and delicate new skin. Imagine smelling her head as you cradle her. Concentrate hard on how she may smell of baby powder or clean washing. Listen to her soft breathing. Now imagine taking the cigarette out of your mouth and giving your perfect, tiny baby a few puffs of your cigarette. That little face grimacing as she is forced to breathe in the toxic, cancer-causing chemicals that will clog up her once fresh and new lungs, setting her up for a life of risk of disease and disability. Keep concentrating on that. Do you want to finish that cigarette? Every time you do, your perfect, tiny, innocent child is being forced to take in dangerous chemicals too.

    You do not want that. You wouldn't let someone else hurt your baby.

    YOU can do this. YOU will do anything to protect your baby. YOU are stronger than this drug. Just stop.

  • If you contact your midwife, they should be able to get you some support to quit smoking.

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