18 weeks and don't feel pregnant; worried

Hi all,

I'm currently 18 weeks and 3 days expecting but I don't feel pregnant in the slightest. I haven't really felt any movements yet either and this being my second baby I thought I'd feel movements sooner then what I did with my first. I also feel like I can't connect and bond with my unborn baby even though I now have a little bump and starting to see just how much the baby is growing. I also think because I don't feel pregnant I don't feel as excited about this pregnancy as I did with my first.How can I bond with my unborn and feel more involved?

Many thanks j xx

5 Replies

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  • Hi Jadey96.

    I'm pregnant with my first and know just how you feel. Because I'm only now just starting to feel her, and only just needed maternity clothes (because I seemed to get wider rather then bumpier for the first 18 or so weeks!) it took me a long time to be able to feel a connection to the baby inside me.

    My only advice would be not to worry about it too much! I'm sure you are eating right and taking vitamins etc so in that way you are doing lots already and already very involved with your baby. I'm sure you will feel more connected as you start to feel him/her more.

    Have you given the bump a nickname? The husband and I did that and we would occasionally talk to it; that was quite fun.

    I wonder if maybe your feelings are different towards this baby because it's number 2? After all, it's never going to be the same as first time around. Alot of my friends who are on number 2 say that number 1 pregnancy is always more special just because it's first time around and everything is new - so I really don't think you're alone in noticing a difference.

    Hope some of this helps and good luck with your pregnancy.

    x

  • Hi there, during my first pregnancy I was initially very excited which carried through until my first scan where we told everyone etc.... Following that everything sort of calmed down and I didn't feel pregnant in fact some days when I was busy I actually didn't even think about the baby. I felt I couldn't possibly be excited all of the time. However, when I went to my 16 week midwife appt I got to hear the heartbeat and it made everything so much more real. A few weeks after that I started to feel baby moving and then 20 week scan etc...so things all started to become more exciting and imminent.

    As you're pregnant with your second I imagine you're a busy mum - do you allow yourself any time to sit and reflect and think about you and the new baby and all the things to come?

    I'm sure with your 20 week scan, feeling movements etc you'll feel that bond and excitement soon enough -try to give yourself some alone time to imagine life with your new baby and family.

  • Hi jadey96,

    I know how you feel as I feel exactly the same even though these are my first babies. I've not felt pregnant at all and I'm now 19+4, doesn't help that I've had no symptoms of being pregnant apart from my growing bump. I feel really bad though as everyone who knows is really excited but I just can't as I have a feeling something is going to go wrong because I've felt nothing. Hopefully it'll change once I've had my 20 week scan, and begin to feel them moving.

    I hope you feel better knowing you're not the only one feeling this way as reading your post has made me feel a little better. All the best with your pregnancy.

    B x

  • Right there with you, Jadey. I'm at 18+2 (you're two days ahead!) and I'm not feeling much of a connection either. I'm aware of the fact that there's a small aquarium in my abdomen, and ACUTELY aware of the fact that my ligaments are like jelly - my hips are sore! but I've not felt any kind of movement down there, even though I've seen on the 12 week scan that the kid is throwing shapes down there like nobody's business.

    I'm just kinda trusting that my body and hormones/pheromones will take over at some point (maybe when I set eyes on the kid?) and I just have to be patient. Here's hoping! I'm kinda relieved to see that I'm not the only one! :)

  • Hi Jadey, i dont suppose you know if you have an anterior placenta do you? i know with my first i didnt feel movement until 21 weeks. It will happen, if you are very active then you probably wont notice the baby moving either. x

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