Had my dating scan today and sadly discovered the sac ... - NCT

NCT
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Had my dating scan today and sadly discovered the sac and yolk sac but no baby.

Nicoleey
Nicoleey

Today had my dating scan I should of been 11 weeks and few days. My scan found that there was just the sac and the yolk sac. They measured this and discovered the baby had stopped developing as they told me at 6 weeks. I have to go back in a week to see if it's a miscarriage or if there is a heartbeat. Right now I feel so broken and gutted. A family is all I ever wanted and dreamt about. Had an abortion previously over 11 months could this maybe be a factor to the cause of this? Or?

I'm losing hope :( just need answers. Thanks.

40 Replies
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Hey...I'm so sorry for your awful situation and I also know how much anxiety waiting, wondering,hoping can bring. I am no expert but I do not believe that your abortion had any impact on your current situation.

You really need to go easy on yourself, as much as it hurts...you just have to accept that somethings in life are not meant to be..for reasons we may never know.

I lost my Lil girl at 21 weeks through a virus that went around my children's school...and I tortured myself over every detail of what I did and didn't do and what if I had done things different.

It took a while for me to realise that somethings in life are out of our control.

I really hope all goes well for you xx

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to maccmum4

I have a feeling that the termination I had because wasn't right timing as had an impact on my pregnancy. I can't help but blame myself for this because, of the choice I made before. Life is too precious. My baby as stopped at 6 wks cant help but question if my dates are wrong.. My last period was 16th August 2015 and fell pregnant. I should be just over 11 weeks, just do not know what to expect Tuesday next week for the scan again false hope is building up. The abortion I had over 10 months ago I can't help but think if it has caused problems inside my body the womb or something as I had a surgical abortion under anesthetic and thanks again xx

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to maccmum4

Rip to your little girl x

I'm really sorry to hear this. I lost my first baby in similar circumstances. I went for a scan at around 10 weeks and there was just the yolk sac. I blamed myself as I'd been drinking before I found out I was pregnant. But I'm pleased to say I'm pregnant again and I'm due in the next few weeks. You can't blame yourself, even though you want to. I hope you get through this difficult time and things work out for you.

X

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to hayley_m86

Oh dear guess lots of women go through the same situation as myself I did not realize. I just keep thinking maybe the dates are wrong but I have no hope. Thankyou again for your comment xx

Hidden
Hidden

Hi maccamu4

I am sorry about your situation, like Nicoleey said something in life are beyond our control dear, thing like that in life they are there to test how much do we trust in God whatever we come across he is aware and he knows our needs more than us. For this to happen to you God is preparing you for something big and good in your life. You just just have to stay faithful in him for you have managed to undergo a safe abortion God was there for you and he knew the reason more than anyone. Trust in him as well this time my dear he is above any situation. I wish you all the best for next week i Pray for you and your little one I put all things in God`s warm and caring hands for he said he will provide all our needs according to his riches in glory...

Kristina_15
Kristina_15 in reply to Hidden

Thanks for encouragement. May God bless you. God is indeed above every situation.

Hidden
Hidden

Hi Hayley

I am happy for you girl, that`s God for us he has never disappointed us in anyway. And whatever difficult times we face we need to remember that he is in control in any situation GOOd or BAD. He is the Lord of second chance the one can forgive a sinner. As human being we sin by talking and doing but yet he forgives us. Take care of that little one coming its a blessing from God.

Gaspode
Gaspode in reply to Hidden

"Take care of that little one coming its a blessing from God" ???

Did you even read her post or were you too busy trying to shoehorn god into the discussion?

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Gaspode

Yep i did read her post and understood it, it seems as if you are the one who is lost in being bitter and since i was not talking to you God bless you. For you not believing in God is not my problem and even not my duty to make you believe.

Gaspode
Gaspode in reply to Hidden

You don't have to be talking to me for me to point out you're an arsehole. Keep your delusions to yourself.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Gaspode

whatever you say mam..suite yourself .

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Gaspode

Being rude will not help any

I'm so sorry about what you are going through. I had the same situation back in April. The week wait is really horrible and there's nothing I can say to make it easier for you but just know you are not alone.

Big hugs x

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to mrs_k_79

Thankyou this is a woman's and her partners worst nightmare. I feel gutted I have a family nurse but I'm going to have to call her to cancel her feel devastated. Thanks again xxx

I'm so sorry your going through this. I was in a similar position in may, would have been 12 weeks but baby stopped developing at 6. I thought of all thr things I'd done, running round after my then 1 year old had I carried him too much etc. Its hard but u must stop thinking like that, I choose to believe something was wrong with my baby and thats why it died but its hard. I don't think your abortion is a factor as I ended up having surgical intervention as I didn't miscarry fully. An abortion is a v similar process and 4 weeks later I was pregnant again. Please let this put your mind at rest that it was not u! Feel free to message me, I remember all to well the pain u feel xxxx

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to Vixstix33

Thankyou it's horrible right now. A family is all I ever wanted feels like its all been taken away. Tuesday of next week I have another scan and then I'm not sure what my options are after that to remove :( things couldn't get any worse right now knowing my little one died in the same situation as you at 6 weeks. The baby should of been 11 weeks and a few days thankyou chick and all the best for you xxxx

I felt exactly the same and I felt like I had failed. I chose to have surgery as I couldn't face any other options. The dates could be wrong and the waiting game is the hardest bit. After I lost it I kept reading that people were pregnant again 1 month after but my periods were all over the place so I kept getting false hope. I'm telling you this because at that point I was really low and felt lost. But as 4 months later I fell pregnant. I honestly thought it would never happen for me but it did when my body was ready. Its such a hard thing to go through but you're not on your own. I found talking to others really helped me. Like vixstix said if you want to chat I'm here too. X

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to hayley_m86

Thankyou for the post, it seems like a horrible nightmare. Why do the hospital ask for you to come back in a weeks time if the sacs empty? What are they looking for? I should of been 11 weeks yesterday when i had my first scan. The nurse told me my baby stopped developing at 6 weeks?! But, when I went doctors I found out I were pregnant and was 8 weeks?! Think I'm going to ask to see a doctor or my gp today for questions and maybe a test or something need to know what's happening. & thankyou hun means loads it is helping having useful replys back xxx

They're looking to see if the fetal pole is there, if it is then it means the baby is developing. It's really awful but it's just a waiting game. I was told at my first scan that they'd just got the dates wrong so when I went back I was devestated as I wasn't prepared for it. My pregnancy was never right though as the pregnancy test at the doctors was negative but bloods were positive, so it just wasn't meant to be. When I went back for my second scan the hospital were great and explained everything. When I got pregnant again, due to all the period confusion, the hospital let me go for an early scan to check everything was ok. Anything else I can help with let me know x

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to hayley_m86

Oh ok do you think I should go see my gp today? I need to find out or to see if I have hcg still or something my minds all over the place x

hayley_m86
hayley_m86 in reply to Nicoleey

To be honest they'll probably just ask you to wait. It's such a horrible time. I coped by carrying on best I could and keeping busy. I wish I could say something to make it easier but I know how hard it is. Time does make it easier. Just try to keep positive, which I know is a stupid thing to say but makes the wait a bit easier. x

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to hayley_m86

Oh okay, I just want to know like I just want to be told everything is going to be ok :( but guess it's not going to be. Just feel gutted and I'll just have to wait and find some hope left thanks chick x very difficult time for me right now as I'm a full time student and already told friends and partners family we were expecting a little one. Just hoping I go back Tuesday to find out they can see something x

It's an awful situation and it's really hard day to day. At my dating scan they thought they could see the beginning of a bleed and I started with very light bleeding the day before my second scan, which strangely made me feel better as I knew what was happening. It's an awful wait but just take care of yourself.

I knew that my dates were correct so I knew as soon as they said the baby was measuring 6 weeks that he/she had died And like someone else said (sorry for not remembering who) we chose to believe that there was something wrong and this was natures way.

Xx

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to mrs_k_79

It is and I'm sorry for your loss too. Atleast you had a sign and knew what was happening where as myself I have had plenty time to have signs and nothing yet. I'm waiting sitting tight for next tuesday :( just hate how we have to go through with some unfortunate things in life. It really does devastate me. The sono said yesterday the baby stopped developing at 6wks.. I found out @ 8 wks i were pregnant by my doc surgery. I have seen the midwife and family nurse since I found out. Yesterday was my first scan and they told me baby stopped at 6weeks could not see a fetal pole. I haven't had no bleeding at my scan i should of been 11 weeks +4 days. I have actually had enough time to miscarry naturally I can't help but think maybe I conceived later than my dates or maybe the baby is tiny because I'm only 4ft 8! I just don't know. Got false hope for Tuesday just so worried! What will happen next if nothing has changed ;( just scarred xxx

mrs_k_79
mrs_k_79 in reply to Nicoleey

I had no signs or pains until after my dating scan when they had sent me home for a week. I should have been 12 weeks but was told the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks. If nothing has changed by Tuesday they will give you some options. I was given either wait for nature to take its cause, tablets or operation to remove. I had the operation. missed miscarriages and miscarriages in general are pretty common but you don't realise until you go through one yourself. The only advice I can give you is to tackle each thing as it comes and to give yourself time.

xx

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to mrs_k_79

Thankyou so much for replying back to me means so much! I'm just scared of going through the d&c again as it wasn't very nice the first time. I regretted making my decision last time however, it was forced upon me as I'm a younh adult. I know sometimes things happen and I now believe somethings happen maybe my baby had something wrong I just need to wait till next Tuesday.

Thanks again xx

Mrskey1984
Mrskey1984 in reply to Nicoleey

I understand 9/28/15 I found out I was pregnant but I would not have known this if I hadn't took a test because I bleed the whole time infact I had two periods four days apart... I have had numerous ultrasounds transvaginal and no fetus no sac nothing then they ruled out no ectopic pregnancy. I'm currently going back and forth to the doc for blood work this is very overwhelming.

I'm so sorry I've had a missed miscarriage too it's much more common than you realise. The reason they now check a week later is because incase the woman just has her dates wrong but if you know when yours are try not to get your hopes up :(

It wasn't the abortion. Lots of women who have a missed mc have a procedure called a d&c to remove everything and it's the same as an abortion procedure. I've since had a baby and so have thousands of ladies. So please don't blame yourself. as a lady said above I also chose to think there was probably something's wrong with my baby like they were very ill & so did't develop properly. They will probably give you the option of a d&c or some hospitals give you tablets, or see if you want to wait but if it happened 6 weeks ago they will probably urge you to pick the surgery or tablets x

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to claire16c

I should of been 11 wks and the baby apparently stopped at 6wks i found out i were pregnant at 8 wks! Had symptoms all the way up until a week ago! This is crazy! How can they find out your pregnant if your baby has stopped developing already :/ and how can you still have pregnancy symptoms which I had until last week! All strange to me unless my body is realising now it's not real no more that the baby isn't there just the sac...

& well true! I think the baby had something wrong or maybe wasn't the right timing yet I will never know. A family is what I wanted, had everything an amazing partner just needed our little family. Sure my time will come :) hope.

Thanks again xx

claire16c
claire16c in reply to Nicoleey

I had positive pregnancy tests for 3 weeks after the operation. Unfortunately they find out you are pregnant by doing the test which just measures the hormone called hcg. So although you are pregnant a test doesn't tell you anything else :( I had awful sickness which did start to get better at around the time the baby died but I continued feeling sick and even after the operation I felt sick for about another week. It's a real kick in the teeth when you are already so low! X

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to claire16c

Oh gosh I know you can still get positive test results and you can still feel pregnant having the symptoms... But, I'm just going to wait for next Tuesday thankyou x

claire16c
claire16c in reply to Nicoleey

It sucks doesn't it. I hope you in whatever way it happens you get a positive ending. Just remember women do go on to have babies after this xx

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to claire16c

It does honestly well and truly it hurts. & Yes I know chick xx

I cannot imagine what you are going through, but who knows there might still be a heartbeat when you go back for a check, if not, I am sure you will get pregnant again and when you do the 'bean' will stick till term.

Goodluck and God bless xx

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to Zahara

I have just called the hospital and spoke to a nurse there, they told me that there could be growth or development change Tuesday when i go so just need to sit and wait. If not then it's a failed pregnancy and meaning i can wait for nature to take it's course and lose the pregnancy naturally or meaning I can have a operation surgery d&c to remove it. Looking for some hope :( and thankyou chick reading your comment helped me this morning! This has really emotionally affected me x

Hey hun...there is nothing wrong with having hope, because a hopeless life is not worth contemplating! I too had to wait 1 week before they tried to give my Lil girl a blood transfusion but on the day there was no heart beat for me😳.

Just please don't blame your self. ..unfortunately miscarriages are extremely common..think figures for it is every 1 in 4-6 pregnancies end this way so it has nothing to do with you as a woman...or because of choices made previously. Please believe that hun xx

I have 4 children aged 9 and under at the time...Doctor told me if she survived she would be extremely poorly and need a heart transplant. I am not very religious but I must admit I prayed to god to make the situation right as how would I cope with 4 small kids and an extremely poorly baby in hospital hooked up to various machines needing a heart transplant for an enlarged heart.

I think my prayers were answered but not how I hoped!

Go easy on yourself girl....take your time and try and deal with the situation as it arises and try not to keep blaming yourself for something that has not yet happend. Sending you big hugs and just remember your not alone xx

Nicoleey
Nicoleey in reply to maccmum4

Aw thankyou hun, that was a lovely message meaning so much to me :) I know I shouldn't blame myself or previous things or thinking what if I did this... I also, prayed yesterday and I'm too not very religious. I can only have hope at the moment and I will know what exactly it is next week. The support on here and replies have really helped me. I got my family nurse coming out to see me later to talk and then I just need to sit tight till my scan Tuesday. I keep thinking what if I ovulated later and what if my weeks are mixed up and I'm not as far gone as I thought... Guess my answers will all be answered if not today next Tuesday. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of a little girl. I haven't had no loss of bleeding and my baby is still there the sacs are ther but no heartbeat.. Just hoping i go Tuesday and we get good news staying hopeful at the min... & in your situation it would be hard to look after a really poorly baby and have your little ones. & thanks again for this reply it does mean alot. Big hugs sent back thanks again xxx

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. But I can relate. And there is a possibility the abortion did have something to do with what's going on. I had an abortion in 2013..and then 2014 I miscarried. I was 10 weeks and started bleeding pretty bad. Found out the baby heartbeat had stopped. The Dr gave me false hope and said there was a chance the baby could make it. But with all the blood I was loosing I knew that probably wasn't going to happen. Well today I have a son who will be 2 next month!

I have had the exact same problem, with the exception that I started to m/c then had a scan to reveal a pregnancy of unknown location. Like you I terminated one about a year previously, that I'd had a few heavy nights out before I found out. I blamed that, to told its wouldn't be the termination that was the problem and PULs are really common. I'm about 9 weeks along now, terrified that I'll have the same again to the point we have told no one yet.

I know how hard it is, and I'm not sure my stance on it will work for you in the long run. I know it will take time.

I've decided to tell myself that I wasn't really pregnant with the pul. And we will be successful in the future, so far it's working (mostly) for me.

It's horrible no matter how you look at it. And I honestly wish you all the best. Just keep hope and remember that it will happen, if you conceived once remember it is likely to happen again!

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