Nasty teenager

Hi just need some advice on my partners 16year old son he's mentally abusive towards his dad also very aggressive. incidents have happened where it's become physical where my partner has just had to walk away.he's nasty with the rest of the family as well even his own Nan doesn't want to know him because of his behaviour.He doesn't want anything to do with his own mum either this is just a brief description we need help with him but don't know who to turn too,any advice would be great thanks

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  • What a difficult situation.....

    Will he sit down or stop and talk to you?

    Does he understand or know why he's feeling the way he is?

    In all honesty he may not know at all and the only way he can deal with any feelings is to lash out.

    I would get in contact with your GP as a first thought - there are plenty of support options available for teenagers but you need to know where to access them. The other people to talk to are school/college. If he goes still, of course.

    Don't despair - there are people out there. I'm not sure if you can self refer to the local CAMHS team - child and adolescent mental health team.

    Either way, he needs to know that you love him, are there for him and want to help him but you need to know how to do that.

    Keep us posted and good luck xx

  • If he does not have a diagnosis of mental health the CAMHS team won't get involve. I can suggest you speak to your local GPS who can support he family to do an assessment and make a referral if it's need. Not sure where you are but things like the turn around centre in the local community would be useful to him. I have a 17 year old and there life changes a lot at this stage which include pressure from his peers and just trying to fit in. As parent we need to be careful how we handle then at this stage as if can either break them or make them. Ask partner to make so man time for for where he relates to him man on man but not as a child as that is how your son see himself at this stage. Wish you all the best in getting help and support.

  • I am a mental health nurse and I also work with children sometimes it's things that are simple to us that means the world to them. The last think that you want is for him to get into the mental health services as that is a bran for life. I am here if you need any advice.

  • Agree so much with MelissaC8. I was a Connexions Adviser in Slough for 8 years, working with 13-19 year olds. May be struggling with seperation / Dad's relationship with you & his mum (positive or not), may just be worried about his exams or a school / friendship / girlfriend thing.

    Try to encourage male bonding & time out of his room / away from X Box to socialise & ask school or local youth service if any free counselling / anger management sessions so he can get it out. Also, try & see if he will get involved in something sporty / active - some martial arts are good for teaching discipline, but so is ballet :-) or any team sport. Swimming & running good if into non-team sports.

  • Thankyou for all your comments the situation hasnt changed.He refuses to talk to anybody we even had the schiil involved an banardoes but no joy

  • Hi i dont know what else to do its got to the point where his dads wants him out he wont talk to us he calls his dad some horrendus names even his nan doesnt want anything to do with him she says hes evil when he was at school he told the teachers he was getting abused at home we got the police involved as it wasnt true an he finally admited it wasnt true even banardoes got involved but he wouldnt speak to them dont know what else to do now

  • As the ladies above have said speak with your gp for advice. My sister was very similar (and still is) abusive, angry, promiscuous and got into drugs. At 14 my parents had to declare her homeless so she could go in to supported housing which had counsellors on call 24/7. She had sessions every day for five years and now 14 years later still isn't perfect, but is a lot better. Some nasty things triggered this for her, at a time when her body was going crazy with hormones and changes already. I'm not saying this is the reason, or that it wont get better, every child is different. But he needs to be made to sit down and talk. Even if its shouting at each other, maybe he'll tell someone. Good luck. Xxx

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