Scaremongering: Hi ladies, so I posted... - Pregnancy and Par...

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Scaremongering

sa4ahlh profile image
4 Replies

Hi ladies, so I posted on here a while ago about a very traumatic first birth and being terrified about my second and I had some lovely and positive responses so thank you. I did mention in my last post that I was going to book in to see a specialist midwife to talk things through and try to put my mind as rest a little (as a summary, i had an assisted birth and lost quite a lot of blood).

So I went to see the specialist midwife a few weeks ago and it was definitely the right thing to do. We talked through all my notes from the first birth and she was really reassuring and definitely helped me to feel more relaxed about the whole thing, saying that it would be fine for me to even try for a waterbirth this time around and that it was highly unlikely that anything like that would happen again etc. I left feeling happy and positive.

Further to this, the midwife also advised me to book in to see a consultant to talk through a plan of care for when i go into labour just so i was clear what i wanted. So i also went along to that appt last week and to be honest I wish I hadn't. All the consultant did was stress and worry me by saying that she recommended i be admitted to the consultant led unit when i go into labour, (previously all the midwifes had said that i would be in the midwive led unit and that i was still low risk) that i should have a canula fitted in case something happened, and also said (the first time i'd heard this during my whole pregnancy - i'm 34 weeks!) that my baby was measuring 'slight;y' big so wants me to go in for a growth scan and check for diabetes!!! I have since checked the growth chart of my bump and it's actually been plotted wrong so i am not as big as it says on the growth chart anyway! Now surely this isn't a 'plan of care'. I really wish i hadn't gone to see her and i don't want to go for the growth scan because i think she was a real scaremonger!! My mum said she was probably just trying to poach patients from the midwives!! Any words of wisdom please? anyone experienced something like this? If i hadn't gone to this appt i would still be so happy and relaxed about the whole thing!

Sorry for the looong post!

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sa4ahlh profile image
sa4ahlh
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4 Replies
Muminspire1 profile image
Muminspire1

Hi there, sorry you are having to go through that, having a cannula just in case as a precaution should not worry you at all, some maternity units will put in one any way. As for the difference of opinions between the Midwives and the Consultant, It is the Consultant being on a safe side especially bearing in mind what happened before. Being on a consultant led team does not necessarily mean a lot of interventions unless they become necessary. If you are not happy ask to speak to the consultant again and hopefully this time it will be a better experience. I retained the placenta with my 2nd and so I had to be closely monitored, ended next time around, I ended up on the consultant led team, but with the 3rd baby all went well apart from the long labour. I had already told them I wanted minimal interventions and that was respected. I saw the consultant for 5 minutes as courtesy that if I needed one then they were available. I would advice you to listen to the consultant as they want the best for you and baby. If you are not happy with anything always say so, you are allowed to refuse investigations provided you fully understand the consequences. All the best and I wish you well.

Hopeful15 profile image
Hopeful15

At my first consultants appt, my consultant was running late and they sent me to see the registrar instead. What a mistake. I'm sure she was a nice person but all she did was go on about my age, said she didn't know anything about my condition, confirmed she hadn't read my notes then proceeded to tell me I would be forcibly induced, give birth on my back with canula's and heart monitoring etc because I was so high risk after the midwife had assured me I was low risk. She scared the hell out of me, threw all my plans in the air and left me feeling desperate and confused. Luckily I went back to my gynae consultant who had recommended the consultant I hadn't seen and he went mad, wrote a stern letter and referred me back to see the original consultant. What a difference!! I was told I couldn't be induced, had to either go elective c section or have completely natural birth and that I wasn't really high risk and they even suggested some positive work arounds to reduce the possibility of further adhesions if I decided to have the c section. Left feeling listened to, properly advised and very calm and happy about my birth plan. Moral: Always demand a second opinion if your instinct tells you something is wrong. Some Drs are just crap and have terrible bedside manners. You deserve to feel in control of your body and pregnancy. It's worth fighting for.

craftingfoxcub profile image
craftingfoxcub

Listen to whoever took the most time to consider your circumstances and history and preferences. Be sure you know what the plan is in case of emergency, and that you are happy with that contingency, e.g. transferring from midwife led unit. I also had a horrendous fist birth, which wasn't the home water birth I wanted, but you are having a totally new baby in a totally new pregnancy all you can do is stay as calm, happy and healthy as you can, and I guess try optimal foetal positioning to make sure the baby is in a good position for the birth. I learned from my experience that I can cope with whatever comes my way when I have to, and I'm sure you will too, but I also am determined bit to expect the worst and assuming no problems will be booking a homebirth or midwife led unit again next time around. Good luck. Take care of yourselves. X

sa4ahlh profile image
sa4ahlh

Thank you so much ladies. Hopeful15 - that sounds similar to what happened - she told me on the way to the room that she was actually a registrar and that she hadn't even read through my notes for the first birth!! So i didn't really understand how she could possibly know enough to advise me differently to what I had been told the whole way through my pregnancy?! The specialist midwife i saw previously has given me her email address so I think I will send her a note for reassurance. I also have me 34 week midwife appt tomorrow so i'm going to have a chat to my local midwife about it. She was there through my whole first pregnancy and aftercare, and has been there through the whole of this one.

Thanks again for your thoughts and advice.

xxx

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