Baby wont settle alone

Hi ladies, hope someone can give me some ideas. Since my lo had a cold and has started teething, he wont settle on his own. He falls fast asleep in my arms but wakes as soon as i put him in his cot. If i leave him he cries until he is sick. I have also tried kneeling at side of his cot and patting him and soothing him, but still cries and wont settle. Has anyone else been through this or going through this? xx


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25 Replies

  • did you tried given a small size cuddly toy - My daughter when crying always wants to hold on to something and digg her face in so we got her a panda bear which is light, snugly and small enough not to choke her (and now when she cries or wants to sleep she dont settle until we give her the panda bear, so he is the best friend).

    Try letting your baby snuggle to something large enough to snuggle but small and safe

  • H has a small bunny which he chews on and have tried giving him that

  • Just out of interest did you have a bedtime routine in place before the cold/teething? Is LO feeling better in himself now or still need to comfort through symptoms?

    Have you tried making sure that everything is how it was before LO was poorly?

    When LO is settled in your arms do you wait until 100% asleep or just until sleepy? I guess you can just keep percevering and then put LO back in crib each time - exhausting I know. Only other thing I'd say would be to stick t the exact same routine every night. Hope things get better soon!!!x

  • I have tried to keep everything the same. I have tried when he is asleep and also when just sleepy. He is over the cold but still teething. Thank you for your response x

  • He sounds exactly like Archie, he's been like this a while and waking a lot more in the night too. It is at this age that they feel some separation anxiety and he might find it harder to be on his own, he might be 'shy' with new people too which I have noticed. I have been reading about it a little today.....their perception of the world and everyone in it has just changed. x

  • Thank you. Feels better to know i'm not the only one. Hope Archie is okay x

  • Thank you yes he is ok, teething symptoms but not teeth. I have been doing battle for sometimes, it feels never ending....I know they will come out the otherside! Just one nights sleep would be lovely! Hope Daniel is well otherwise x

  • I know what you mean about just one night lol.. I can see 2 teeth just under the skin but not broken through yet. He is fine apart from the nights, just got him a jumperoo which he loves x

  • Ah that's cool, we just got activity centre here, it's great but he gets frustrated trying to pull everything into his mouth! X

  • My wee man is a lot more like that since teething, I have the same routine every night & just keep fighting through it, if he's really upset I lift him and cuddle and then when he's quiet put him back in but otherwise I get into my bed which is next to his crib make sure he can see me and cup his face with my hand. He gradually falls asleep and as he does I move my hand away. I refuse to leave him to CIO most night he's so crafty I actually have to pretend to go to sleep so he will. What age is he? Mine is 16 weeks and apparently between 14-17 week mark alot going on developmentally which disrupts their sleep routine aswell. Good luck x

  • Thank you for your reply. My little man is 23 weeks. Sounds like you have a good system x

  • Hi, I was / am going through the same since Xmas. LO wouldn't settle and just clutched at my top every time I tried to put her back in cot. So I decided she must have her reasons for feeling insecure and instead of any 'sleep training' I've brought her to bed with me. She slept better and so did I. After about a month I've started to put her back again and she was fine. Then she got a cold and teething and the story continues so we are sleeping together again. Not everyone might agree with me but I think it's my job to give her comfort at this age (6 months), and not expect her to cry herself to sleep. She's still so small and I don't care what all the books say ;) Sorry not much help from me but I hope you'll make it work for you xx

  • I must admit i have put him in with me a couple of times when he just won't sleep. Beacause my partner doesn't live with me i do the nights alone x

  • My LO won't sleep in his own bed either, and I too have resorted to bringing him to bed as we needed sleep. He would cry until either he was sick or hyperventilating. We tried every trick in book to get him into his cot as he had been such a good sleeper but now, even in bed with us he figits and wakes and fights in his sleep but does sleep. It's similar to how I sleep when I'm stressed. He was still having night terrors but since putting him in with us he's had one incident, and is starting to settle a lot better. so much so he went back in his cot for 2 hours last night before wanting in with us. We know it'll be an uphill battle now but putting him in with us was best for us.

    We think it was several reasons he went off his cot. One definitely was his night terrors, but another was because he moves so much so part way through night he'd end up climbing out of his blankets and end up really cold even though we have our heating set to come on part way through night. We are going to try putting him back into a sleeping bag, they fasten over the shoulders so he can't shuffle down in it or out of it and with a pair of mits and extra blanket he was lovely and toasty warm. We used one at xmas when staying with my mum and he loved it, in fact sleeping right through which he hasn't done since, unfortunately he grew out of it very quickly so we'll have to buy a new one. You can get them in asda. He also has his sheepie to cuddle. Not sure if any of that helps, but you are not alone x

  • Joda, I use sleeping bag and as soon as he could roll my nights were all over the shop, he too is a wiggler so I tried using a blanket over the sleeping bag from waist down to stop him lifting legs to roll and knees to shuffle. Well....the little monkey has worked out that he can shuffle up in sleeping bag and then roll around! But say 7/10 times it will work so I persist :-) X

    Ps Up until this phase he was also sleeping 9-11 hours straight...

  • they soon catch on to things x

  • well last night someone slept in his own bed. Not in a sleeping bag because we can't find them, but oddly in pjs! He's so grown up the pain lol. We decided to try him on a sippy cup as bottle won't work and he drinks from it himself. We started feeding him 5 days ago and he won't open his mouth unless he has the spoon. And hits every time. So daddy suggested what if we try pyjamas - what a daft idea I replied, that won't work.... guess who was eating humble pie lol. He just wants to be like the grown ups, at 4 and a half months. Woke up super bouncy at 8.30 this morn with 1 nappy change and feed through night. Well done daddy x

  • That's fantastic. We sometimes forget because they are so small, but they really know what they want x

  • Thank you for the advice. It's comforting to know i am not the only one. I have put my little man in with me now as he wouldn't settle again x

  • Thank you for the advice. It's comforting to know i am not the only one. I have put my little man in with me now as he wouldn't settle again x

  • I know exactly what you are going through. My lo got a stomach upset and cold within days of each other and I also think her top teeth are coming through (didn't have much trouble with bottom 2 got these at Xmas) before she had her teeth I saw on TV program e about brush baby dental wipes which clean and rub their gums with I did this before she went to sleep and seemed to give her a bit of relief on her gums. She goes down ok at bedtime with a set routine (bath, bottle, teeth and bed) but has took to night waking and won't settle self (had done before so know she can do it) I am doing the up/pd with her at the min as if leave lo to cry is sick. Has taken about an hr each night which is not easy as it is usually bout 1-2am but teamed it with gradual retreat. She is going back over by herself gradually so just trying to stick with it at the mo.

  • Thank you, i will try to find those wipes

  • My boy was sleeping through 9/10 hours until 17 weeks. He then started waking a couple of times for cuddles then more and more. Then he just had his first cold and was waking constantly. I had him in bed with us a few hours each night so he and we could get some rest. Now his cold is better I'm not putting him in bed with us anymore. I go to him and comfort him when he cries as I'm not a CIO fan. Then lay him back down. The last 2 nights he has been up and down til midnight but then slept for an 9 and 8 hour stretch.....on his belly. He hates being on his back at the mo (was like this when tiny too and I laid him on his side at night and naps on his front - he was in scbu for his first 5 days and they laid him on his side) so it seems it may be helping. He's 24 weeks on Thursday x

  • Oh and I give him a cute flat teddy bear at nap times and bedtimes which he does sometimes fall asleep with now x

  • I am so glad your lo is feeling better and slowly sleeping better x

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