LO always cries the house down before falling asleep:(

My LO is now 13 weeks old, and I always have such a distressing time when I put her down to sleep:( She's showing me all her usual sleepy cues (eye rubbing, yawning, getting grizzly) and I rock/shush her. Sometimes she falls asleep in my arms, and I can put her down in her cot, but other days, like today, no matter what I do, she is still yelling the place down and refuses to settle! She is a really light sleeper and has never once nursed to sleep yet. I don't know what to do anymore, have tried just putting her down in her cot because I thought maybe I was overstimulating her, but that just made her even more upset! I don't think she's overtired, because she's had good naps today, and I didn't wait too long after seeing her sleepy cues before starting the winding down process this evening. Could it be that she slept too much during the day? In total, she has had 4 hours of sleep during the day. Even some reassurance that some of you may have gone through this before, and it passes, would be really helpful to know. (Also, would be good to know when your LOs stopped doing this!) At this point in time, it feels like pre-sleeping time will always be traumatic for all of us, and not the peaceful wind down I'd like it to be.

4 Replies

is she in pain do u think, does she hav trouble with wind. it could be colic if so, my son had this around 6-9 weeks and constantly cried in eve for few days and nothing I cud do helped, there're many things to try but the thing tht worked for us was colief, xx


Firstly get her checked by your health visitor or GP for problems like reflux as this can cause quite severe pain in young babies. As long as she's found to be healthy the other thing you may want to check out is something know as the wonder weeks (google it)

Babies go through growth spurts both physically and mentally more times than you'd imagine in their first year (I was surprised by how many of these wonder weeks there are!) The wonder weeks are normally preceded by a week or so of a cranky baby. 13 weeks sounds about right for a wonder week - this one is a mental leap instead of a physical one. She's hit the point where she can see more and do more and is simply showing her frustration that she hasn't mastered it yet. Patience here is the key, babies change so much and so fast trying to get any routine simply results it that routine being thrown out of the window a few days later!

Try to be as flexible as possible, if she'll only sleep while laying on/next to you then take a few days to reassure her thats what she'll get, she'll soon settle back down. Hope this has helped :)


Sound advice! So agree MadamAdams. She sounds a bit like my first if you find that it is actually as she gets tired that she gets more and more wound up. My daughter was really hard to soothe if we didn't catch her almost before she knew she was tired. She went off best if in a dark room being held firmly and sung to with patting on the bum and sometimes as marched back and forth across the room. My reading of her in retrospect was that she was really easily over wound and then needed help to 'drown out' the outside world and drop off (she is much the same in personality but is really capable of doing that herself now - aged 7! It did pass a long time ago though! She became a lot easier to settle by the time she was about 5/6 ms and it wasn't a constant thing) I found with her that sleep actually helped her sleep - so that if she missed a nap she was harder to settle. If your little girl is similar it will pass - no phase lasts forever and in the meantime although it is distressing for you I think there is a world of difference between her crying in your arms because she finds it hard to wind down and crying because she is distressed herself. I think for babies who do that 'crying themselves to sleep' thing it is almost like the crying serves as a way of blocking out the world. And as the wise lady above says - don't be hard on yourself and set yourself too much of a 'target' just do what works for you both for now. All the best to you. x


My little boy does this all of a sudden it drives me mad all I have to do I hold him sat up wonder round he just looks around the room and then we start again. It seems that when her is in the zone of screaming he is nt going to settle so I do that to take home mind off it and hr goes down easier


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