26 year old party girl absolutely caned it thru January....Didn't know I was pregnant! Now super worried about the damage I've caused..Help!

January is always a busy party month for me as it's my birthday. However this month was particularly excessive as there was lots going on, I took a maximum of one ecstasy pill every weekend (3 weekends in Jan) plus several dabs of mdma, consumed around 1- 2g of cocaine throughout the whole month, drunk in excess of 10 units a week, smoked marijuana daily along with about 6-10 roll up cigarettes a day and was taking nurofen plus between 2 and 4 tablets a day around 3 times a week to deal with the hangovers. I was also a heavy coffee and tea drinker (between 3-4 cups a day) from the date of my last period right on 28th Dec through to when I found out I was pregnant on 31st Jan.

I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant on the 31st Jan (Totally unexpected but my boyfriend and I are over the moon) However in the run up to finding out I was taking nurofen plus (ibroprufen and codeine) daily to deal with what I THOUGHT was severe period pain when in fact I have recently learnt it was my womb stretching! I knew something was up when I had 3 days of pain and no period so I did a test... Positive.

I was honest with my doctor and told him everything however he said as long as I stop everything right away, which of course I did (and I feel amazing!) I shouldn't worry but I cannot stop thinking about the damage I may have done to this poor little creature trying to survive inside of me during this crazy time of excess. He said that usually nature has a way of sorting things out and I would probably miscarry if there WAS something severley wrong but both my partner and I have discussed this and we have agreed if there was something wrong we would terminate if there would be no real quality of life for the child and certainly no quality of life for us as parents and we would try again with a clean bill of health (from both our parts!)

Its actually the Nurofen Plus I am the most worried about as I read online this can cause neural development issues plus heart problems for the unborn baby from days 17 onwards.

Has anyone else been through a similar situation and what was the result? Was your baby OK? Did you not go through with it when you found out something was wrong? Have any specialists out there got any advice for me on the potential risks and how late in the pregnancy do you have to be before you can choose if you no longer want to go through with it? What kinds of tests for defects are available on the NHS, and when in your pregnancy can you elect to have these? Can you pay for more detailed testing? (we are prepared to pay if it means we will get more accurate results)

There is so much info on the internet I am not sure what to trust but it was would be so helpful to get a response from someone who has been through a similar issue or get some advice from a healthcare professional.

Please respond with constructive comments and advice only, I know some people will not agree or approve of my lifestyle but I have not come here to be made to feel worse or any more guilty than I already do; I have come here for honest, straight up advice from those who feel they may be able to help/put my mind at rest. Thank you all kindly. Xx

14 Replies

  • Hiya BB22

    I'm not the kinda woman to judge so my comment is honestly from my true opinions & feelings.

    Babies in the womb are far more resilient & tough for what we give them credit for. I didn't know I was pregnant with my 1st child till I was about 8 wks gone back in 2008 as I was very petite back then & honestly had nothing to show for it until I got to about 7 months.

    I was " then" drinking & smoking nearly 10 a day it wasn't till one day that I felt really light headed I took a pregnancy test & it was positive ( scared me to bits)

    I now have had another baby ( 3 mths ago) & their 100% perfect Lil children & I truly adore them more than myself.


  • Hi,

    I was away at my friends in Oxford and was drinking and smoking to excess and for some bizarre reason I didn't feel right one day and took a pregnancy test to my amazement I was pregnant, 5 weeks gone apparently. I stopped smoking straight away and knocked the drinking on the head, although indisputably

    My son was born on 5/1/14 healthy with no problems. I also had the odd glass or two of wine during my pregnancy so not to feel too alienated and just ate 3 meals a day not all particularly healthy but due to this I only put on baby weight and no more.

    I really wouldn't overly worry as long as you have stopped now your new addition with thrive and grow as it should. So don't stress and worry just enjoy it if you can Xxx

  • Like Fattyboom I happen to only have conceived whilst trying but a friend of mine who had been trying for absolutely ages - like double figures - conceived after 'giving up' whilst on a holiday in Southern France where she says she consumed more wine than at any other time of her life. As this was the long awaited baby she felt, like you, incredibly anxious about how she had been drinking - her midwife really had to counsel her a lot through the early weeks because she was just so worried and stressed... and although your experiences are a bit different the point I wanted to make was the same: stress is a toxin - you have made all the changes you need now and you mustn't let worry become a new 'risk factor' in your pregnancy. I think it was very brave and wise of you to be totally frank with your GP and I think his advice is really sound. When you think about the proportion of women who become pregnant unexpectedly and continue with 'life as normal' for them obliviously and the relatively low rate of neural defects (and the rate of early miscarriage where there is a problem) you can see that the odds are good. The detailed scan for anomalies is usually done at about 20 weeks but that doesn't mean that an obvious issue wouldn't be picked up earlier at 12 wks. I would personally be cautious of assuming that any 'anomaly' is a final sentence - things are misdiagnosed and it is worth finding out more about things. I faced the possibility in this pregnancy that my baby might have some degree of spina bifida which initially sounded completely terrifying but on further reading I realized that it might mean a whole range of things for the baby and us. Not saying this to put pressure on in any way or to encourage you to fret - just saying cross each bridge as it comes. Most importantly speak to your midwife about your feelings and anxieties and get the tests which are available to you explained in detail including their reliability. If you haven't met with a midwife yet then see if you can contact the community midwife direct and explain where you are coming from - they will support you when they know you need them but booking appointments can take a while so see if you can jump the queue! All the very best to you.

  • Hey I respect your honesty. .I conceived beginning of dec 2012 but didn't actually know was preg till jan 2013 so I ate and drank aalot of stuff over xmas I shudnt had I known. .my son of 21 weeks is fine and healthy. .u wont b the only one in ur situation. .I was also still taking my pill but my sons all gd..

    If u hav stopped theres no reason why you wint go on to hav perfectly healthy baby xx

  • Just like you said if you have done some real damage you probably would have had a miscarriage already but as I said in my 1st comment babies are well protected in the womb it amazing some of things they can survive through.


  • Hi, congrats on your pregnancy, no matter how pleased you are if it was unplanned you bound to be abit worried and scared aswell, that's normal. Your lifestyle before you found out is your choice and no one should judge you on it obviously that changes as soon as you found out and you have stopped all drugs, drink & painkillers now so you have done the best you knowingly could for your baby. I can't advise on the drugs but was drinking before I found out though not excessively but I was most worried about painkillers cos I had a bad dental infection & the dentist gave me heavy duty painkillers which I actually doubled up on cos it was that ba but my wee boy is perfect. They are well protected by your body & can stand a lot. Speak to your midwife honestly about all your options, if you feel they are not supportive of your options I would imagine there are charities or organisations out there who would speak to you and you partner and advise you of your options and tests etc. The ladies on here are always helpful and supportive aswell and are get when you want someone to talk things over.

  • I have a healthy 11 week old son! I didn't find out I was pregnant till I was 8 weeks! Preceding that I had my Hen do, wedding & honeymoon and lots of daily alcohol! I was also taking neurofen & co-codamol as strained my neck at my wedding ( head banging)

    Anyway I was worried and firstly paid for an early pregnancy scan - wait until your about 7 weeks! This will tell you in you have a healthy fetus - it's very reassuring to see that heart beat!

    Then your 12 week scan will look for abnormalities as well as dating!

    There are various tests could can have done - DNA testing to look for abnormalities which I think cost about £500 but I would wait till after your scans & see the results of those!

    But be reassured I'm sure everything is ok..! My little boy developed fine swimming in a world of alcohol for 8 weeks!

  • Hopefully these ladies have reassured you enough, but lots of my friends have found themselves in similar positions and gone on to have very healthy baby. It's great you found out when you were only 5 weeks gone. It's a bloody long wait till your 12 week scan try to stay positive! And congratulations!! Xx

  • Hi congratulations on ur news I found out quite soon and apart from the fact I had been doing kick boxing (not a great pregnancy activity) I hadnt really been taking anything else. My friend however was one of these crazy people who somehow didn't find out she was pregnant until they are about to pop she was 7 and a half months pregnant when she found out and was a major party girl we were working in a nightclub at the time drinking in excess and hammering the pain killer for hang overs aswell as drinking a ridiculous amount of energy drinks she obv stopped all this when she found out and gave birth a month later 2 weeks early 2 a perfect baby boy! Not that I would recommend doing all these things for this long as she may not of been ls lucky I think these babys are more resilient than u think! X

  • Hi, and congratulations!

    I'm 28, and I found out that I was about 6 weeks pregnant, after getting tattooed three times, caning the ibuprofen (from swelling), getting a minor needle stick injury at work, drinking, smoking cigarettes and drinking tea and coffee (despite feeling sick after drinking the latter, I wonder why!!)

    I am also terrified I've caused some form of damage to my baby. But, I had my 20 week scan on Monday, and was told that I have a normal little girl!

    The important thing is that you've stopped, and you should be proud that you've managed to do so! Try not to read things online about what drugs/tablets/everything under the sun does to harm a baby, it only adds to the worry...and the internet contains horror stories, not necessarily positive experiences.

    What's done is done, and now you have to look forward to the future. Try not to think negatively about what may happen whilst the baby is developing.

    In terms of tests, you will have blood tests when you see your midwife. At your 12 week scan, the baby will be tested for the likelihood of Downs Syndrome. Your 20 week scan is an anomaly scan, where the scan will pick up any major defects. If any are picked up (God forbid), you will be able to discuss next steps and given support.

    Like I said earlier, please try not to worry or think negatively - because being pregnant is awesome (apart from the sickness, farts, etc!) - enjoy it! X

  • Hi congrats, I didn't find out I was pregnant with my first till I was 25 weeks gone. I had been on an all inclusive 2 week holiday & going on banana boat, boxercise, eating all the foods your not meant to eat. Had been to the docs who did pregnancy test which came back negative so he then started treating me with strong meds for a hiatus hernia. In the end I did another test at home which came back positive & the end result was a perfectly healthy baby girl. You have done the right thing now by giving up all the drink & drugs, these wee babies are very resilient & stronger than we think. Xxx

  • any drugs at an early stage of pregnancy can cause damage ,start taking folic acid asap and pray you have a healthy baby, in 2008 I had chronic wisdom tooth pain and infections, I was unaware it was my 4th pregnancy and took the drs medications, im sure the painkillers resulted in an abnormal stillborn baby, born at 6 months I was told at 22 weeks there was a heart defect and baby might die( It did ).All my other babys where healthy & fine normal in every way and I never took anything other than vitamins with them,Get a dating scan,keep asking for scans,some damage may show up only after birth,in the future take care of what you do to your body as you will be a role to a small baby one day.Taking care of a small baby is not a party or a game and you need to be strong.Good luck and pray for a miracle let me know how you get on.If your test &scans are normal dont worry .I went on to have a cute heathy baby in my next pregnancy and really took care of myself.

  • You did have a busy January....

    If that's what the doctor has told you then all you can do is take their advise and wait for your 12 week scan to see if they can see any abnormalities, even though they don't really look until the 20 week scan. For reassurance I would pay for a private scan in a clinic. I did when I got pregnant after a mc and it was the best £90 I spent for peace of mind. Good luck.

  • Hi, congratulations! I was in a very similar boat - we weren't trying, although it's been a very happy accident! I found out at 6 weeks and had been caning it (MDMA, cocaine, weed, booze and fags) up til then too... Stopped as soon as I found out of course (a week before my 30th, an unexpected present, and a much quieter celebration than I had planned!) The baby has yet to show it's little face (I'm 25 + 4) so I can't say definitely but all the tests and scans etc so far have come back good. We decided the same thing, that if it looked liked there were any problems we'd terminate, and just take it all as it came. What will be will be

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