When did you try for a second baby?

Hi I've got a 14 week old baby and he's really settled down and we are loving him but my partner and I don't want to wait long to try for our second as we don't want much of a gap and my partner is 43 aswell so don't want him to be much older. Just wanted some input from any ladies who had two babies close together or any feedback?

13 Replies

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  • I'm of the opinion, that if you are happy, content and financially stable then have number 2 when ever you want!! We want an 18-24 month gap but it's going to be more 24 months due to holidays we have booked! There is a 10 month gap between my friend and her brother!! That's pretty extreme! But go for it when ever you want, and as you mentioned with your partners age it's probably better to have one sooner rather waiting and potentially having a problem conceiving later on down the line x

  • Hi Littlebean

    I guess it all depends on preference of what you would like your family life to be.

    I have 2 children, my 1st child is 5 yrs old & my 2nd child is just turned 3 months old.

    I always knew i wanted more than just the 1 child & It wasn't my intention to have a big gap " between births" but with the pressures of working & moving / setting up a home we simply just didn't have any time.

    I'm now 33 yrs old & my hubby is also 43. We have both come to a decision that we are also happy with the children we have & won't be trying for anymore due to our living situation as I am unemployed & he works full time to keep us going.

    Even though my hubby is happy with the way how we live I am hoping to get back into work around the time our Lil one turns 2 yrs of age.

    xx

  • Me & my husband discussed this before ours was born and I'd love to get cracking and have another one but I'm still waiting for my first period ... 12 weeks on :/ I reckon my time has finally come. I turned 40 last Sept and they thought I was starting the menopause 2 years ago - our little one is most definitely a miracle I'm sure :)

    But, there is still hope ... I know most people have their first Aunt Flo by 12 weeks but it's not unheard of.

    Anyway, I'd say go for it if, like Rach says, you have the stability xx

  • There is still hope for you to have another! Are you breast feeding? This might be stopping your period coming back? I only breast fed for 5 weeks and it may have been a coincidence, but a week after I stopped feeding, I got my period. You could always go to the doc for a blood test to see if you have hit the menopause, then you will know for sure, and if not perhaps there is something you can take to help you xx

  • Hiya!

    I just wanted to say I just got my period back a few days ago (after 3 months ).

    I'm not sure if its the fact that I am now combining my LO's feed with breast & bottle or the fact I started to take the mini pill about 3 wks ago.

    But I must admit I'm glad I got it as it was extremely heavy & I now feel relieved in some sort of weird way.

    x

  • No not breast feeding. I tried to but as my lo was in scub for 16 days (and I didn't actually start to bf or express for about 4 days - thanks to the lack of support from the midwives!) I was feeding her when I was visiting her at hospital and expressing when I was home but I just wasn't producing enough for her. It was weird though, when I was actually bf (ie when she was latched on), the flow got heavier! My lochia lasted in total for about 8 weeks however it was very light (almost like that lovely discharge we have during the pregnancy) for around the last 3 of those weeks. I was finally able to remove the panty liners after the 8 weeks. If there is no sign by 16 weeks, I will go the docs for some blood tests but been there, done that 2 years ago. Ah well, if I am, at least we have our little darling :) x

  • Im only on my first baby but me and my OH defo want a 2nd. We want to wait and try for a 2-3yr age gap just purely for financial reasons.

    My brother on the other hand has 3 kids. His girlfriend got pregnant 3months after my niece was born and it was nice to c them grow up at a very similar pace so they shared everything. But there is a 5yr age gap between the 2nd niece and my nephew who he had with a different girl. The girls are great with him and get all motherly around him. Its so cute!

    Really there is no best time as a rule. Its purely a personal decision based on how u feel. If ur ready then go for it. Wish u all the luck in the world hun xx

  • We have been having this discussion today! My little boy has just turned 6 mnths and we have decided to wait until he is about 21 months to start trying again. One of my reasons is that babies develop so much it is amazing to watch and be a part of, so I want to enjoy him first. And then be able to spend more time with out second as he wont be as dependent all the time :-D x

  • We are planning to try for our second next summer as James approaches his 2nd bday. We would ideally like a 2 and a half-3 year gap in between ours. I have a time frame in which id like to have any children we are gona have without big gaps....aiming for just the 2 really but you never know ;-) lol. If you are ready, willing and able to try soon then go for it! Whatever suits your family is what you should do :-) x

  • Thanks ladies, I would love to try again, the only thing I am worried about is will either baby loose out cos they are so close together but then I think about twins it doesnt do them any harm and think about the bond the children will share growing up so close together. It's always good to hear other opinions on here so thanks again ladies.

  • Whenever u do choose to start trying again for another baby your motherly instinct wouldn't let either one of your children loose out.

    " we're just amazing us women". :)

  • Hi, we wanted a really short gap - mainly because I was paranoid about having a jealous older child and had heard from other parents about children from 2-4 being the most jealous (having now had 4 (soon 5) with different age gaps I don't really think there is a magic solution to that question, all of ours have got on well from the off and I'm not sure that age has always been the main factor). We started trying as soon as my periods returned and were lucky enough to conceive on my first cycle afterwards - however as I was exclusively breastfeeding that took a while - I think my first period was six or seven months after my daughter was born. She was still breastfed but as soon as she started solids she would sleep through for 5-6 hrs and I think that was what kick started my cycles again. Anyway - net result, two daughters who were born 17 months apart and are the best of friends. Part of what made my experience so lovely was that I fed my eldest til she was over two and so they tandem fed for a while - they would lie in my arms holding hands and that was a lovely part of their bonding experience. I really hear what you are saying about the eldest 'missing out' too because as soon as we'd conceived no.2 I began to worry that I had ruined no.1's life! However I think that is always a concern when you have a second whatever the age of the first and it actually helps that they can do and enjoy the same things when there is a smaller age gap. One of my best friends has boys 13ms apart and her story is pretty much the same as mine. It is tiring in the early days but so worth it when they become a proper little twosome!

  • My brother and I are only 16 months apart and we both loved growing up so close in age. we're very close and its nice that he's only ever a year ahead of me so we enjoyed the same things at the same ages. His kids are only 18 months apart because he liked the small age gap between us. I'm due in May this year and I think I'll be breaking the family trend and going for a bigger gap but thats just down to my personal feelings and finances at this time. I loved having a big brother who was so close in age to me and I'm very excited that my baby will have 4 cousins who are around the same age too.

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