So fed up... is it all doom and gloom? Please send me some positive vibes!!

Hi all the lovely mummies and mummies to be! First of all I'd like to say I love reading all your posts and have been following what goes on here with interest for months even though I have not contributed. Feeling a bit shy and like no one would answer me, really, I suppose. I am a mother of two and 35+5 with my little girl. There is an 8 year gap between my last pregnancy and this one, I've got rid of the horrible husband and am now with the best guy in the world and this is our first together but I've forgotten a lot of the details haha I can't help but be scared all the time about whether I will cope and I tend to turn to this forum to try and remember what it is all like. I have to say I'm getting increasingly scared, not reassured!! I just wonder if it's all as hard as you all make it sound, I mean very difficult births, inductions, transfusions, babies that don't sleep, eat all the time, don't settle and don't poo right, my god, it all sounds terrible!!!!! I know we all turn to this forum when we need help but I'd love to see a post that says "the birth went well, my baby is feeding every 3 hours and sleeping through the night, my partner has been great, it's all lovely!" ha ha ha

I haven't had an easy pregnancy, I have hated almost every minute of it to be honest and feel like I should be happier than this but I can't. I can't wait to meet my little girl at last and be free but I feel low a lot of the time!! I have been better since my maternity leave but found out yesterday that my landlady is thinking of selling the house so of course, I spent the night worrying and didn't sleep much and am now back on feeling really down. It seems a bit like there's no light at the end of this tunnel!! So there you go, I'm asking for some nice stories from all of you! Tell me how wonderful it all is, it might make me feel a bit better. And sorry about the moan.

15 Replies

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  • This post made me laugh in bits of it. Well I didn't have a good birth at all and have been ill since. My boy is generally a good sleeper but lately isn't doing what he used and sleeping through. Unfortunately I can't lie to you and say it's all been amazing and wonderful. It can be hard. But as you will know from ur children, it's all so very worth it and the good far outweighs the bad. If I posted everyday about the nice day I had, people would tell me to do one after a while and I wouldn't blame them haha! But my boy is amazing and my boyfriend is fantastic and we are a happy little family! Congratulations on the pregnancy and the ditching of the horrible husband ;-) x

  • Hey..ahh dont b scared and dont think tht no one will answer u on here..i am on here frequently and often catch up during my night feed..to b honest I found first 6 weeks tough but I guess with 2 previous newborns u already have an idea whats in store...I had an ok pregnancy if I wasn't constantly sick..wud of been perfect. ..like I say first 6 weeks were tough but u kno everything else u hav mentioned is ok...my birth was relatively easy.i went into labour naturally just 3 days over due date and was in active labour for 6 hrs..i needed a few stitches but my son finley is now nearly 19 weeks he wakes about once a night but yeh he feeds every 4 hrs and my partner has been great and as u have someone new to share this experience with it will hopefully be a good experience for u 2..things are goin really well for us and although teeth r ready to appear so I am sure tht will b a challenge.

    Hopefully ur house situation will b ok but I hope u can stay xx

  • Oh thank you girls, I'm glad you answered me, long days at home can be testing sometimes, especially so close to the appearance!! She's dropped yesterday and is now lodged in my pelvis, I can feel it when she moves (I keep thinking I'm going to wet myself or that my pubic bone is about to be shattered in tiny pieces :-) ) so that has made me panic a bit as it's a bit early for her to come. I have just spoken to my mum and to my partner in the last hour and feel a bit better about it all. I would still read you Fattyboom if you posted happy posts every day ha ha

    It makes me feel better to read that you are coping regardless of the ups and downs. I must admit this pregnancy has surprised me in how bad it has made me feel mentally, especially now that I have someone who cares and is involved by my side and two children who can't wait to meet their little sister... But still I battle on and I know we're going to be a very happy little family too :-)

    Good luck with the teething Ceribean, no it's not nice but all I remember from it now is my daughter trying to eat my finger every time I attempted to put Calgel on her gums because she loved the taste so much!! I don't think I ever managed to get some on her gums, she just vacuumed it up :-)

    Thank you for sharing your happy thoughts :-)

  • lol I remember feeling like I was gonna wet myself lol. I bet ur other children r so excited and are of an age where they can help. obviously there r bad days but I don't remember them as much as the gd. lol yeh hes chewing everything..

    do u hav a name for ur daughter, r u nearly ready for her arrival i.e purchased everything u need too x

  • My kids are excited, yes. My little boy is nearly 8 and has admitted to me at the weekend that he was worried because the baby is obviously big, looking at my bump, so how on earth is it going to come out without ripping me to pieces? I felt so sorry for him, I never thought he'd panic about that but really, I should have explained earlier. I had to do a drawing for him about how the baby gets out so he's ok about it now. My daughter is 11 now,she has seen the whole thing as a biological experiment, having just learnt everything about the reproductive system at secondary school last term! I very often caught her staring at me when I was in the shower with a look of disbelief on her face, staring at the bump!!! That didn't make me feel like a freak at all, oh no! She has been wary of touching and interacting with the bump, she's been scared of hurting the baby or doing something to the placenta etc, quite funny really, but my little boy has played with his little sister, poked her waiting for a reply, written a song for her and generally has been very involved. They have both helped me so much with the chores too without even arguing or pulling a face, it's amazing! We have decided to call her Emily, a name I have always loved and one that my partner liked too so we had settled with Emily even before we knew it was a girl. If it had been a boy, he would still be nameless as we never found one that we both liked. I'm all ready, I have everything , got everything second hand or free from acquaintances over time so all I need now is her :-)

    You're right, I'm all set for the bad days because there will be some and days when I wonder why on earth I've decided to have another baby but I know they will soon be forgotten :-)

  • Awww!!! Oh your kids!! All that stuff is so lovely :D how sweet! X

  • Your children sound so sweet! Bless your son! Aren't they funny! My nephew who is five said to his mum the other day "mummy, guess what, I've seen auntie Rachel's boobies!! I saw them when she was feeding baby Hugo, I liked looking at them" I was a bit mortified!!! I stopped breastfeeding about 5 months ago so he has been "keeping it to himself" all this time!! Like the others said, you forget the crappy nights as soon as you see that gorgeous little face looking up at you. There is always someone on here that will reply to you!! :) xx

  • Haha rach!! Typical blokey behaviour....learning young lol!! xx

  • Oh my god, that's so funny about your nephew! And such typical blokey behaviour indeed. My son once asked me if I realised that my boobs had gone all blue and massive and I remember thinking at the time "trust him to comment about boobs and not my daughter"... They're just mini blokes!!

  • I know!! Unbelievable!! If he said that at 5 what will he be like at 15!! X

  • ahh my sister is called Emily and yes its a pretty name. thts gd yeh I got loads second hand, my boy had so many clothes and was great cz I only bought a few personal bits. ahh ur other children will love her too bits and least u hav some extra helpers with nappy changing etc. xx

  • This post made me lol!

    Ive had 3 easy (ish) pregnancies 3 very easy straight forward births and 3 beautiful babies ♥

    Im sure once your little lady is here you will remember everything lol. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and then your new addition to your family :-) xx

  • Wow! Super! That gives me hope :-) Thank you x

  • Hi there, I remember reading all the posts and thinking the same thing. The way I looked at it was all the horrible birth stories prepared me for the worst and anything better was a bonus. As the other ladies said no matter how hard it is when u meet her u would do it all over again for her. My son is 4 months now and I'm a first time mum so was overwhelmed at the start but if I managed to pick it up you defs will with other kids. He has only started to sleep through but when he woke up for night feeds he took it and went straight back to sleep so not too bad really. As for my husband he is really supportive which helps. He always helped out with night feeds and took baby when he came home from work so I could get a snooze. He dotes on Daniel too which is lovely to see. If you've got good support that's the main thing and take all the help that is offered. Good luck with everything, I hope your little one arrives safe and well and the whole thing is uneventful! Best piece of advice I got was to have some instant feeds in the cupboard if u r bottle feeding, that way until u get into a routine with feeds there will always be a supply of milk when little one needs it. Good luck!

  • Thank you for your reply, it's true in a way that it has opened my eyes to what could possibly happen to me even though my first two birth experiences were quite straightforward (apart from the two day struggle with number one because she was back to back - it could have ended worse if I go from what I've read on here!). I pray that number three comes out quickly and uneventfully (if there is such a word :-) ) and that she takes after her sister who slept through the night at 4 weeks old (her brother didn't until he was 1 1/2 year old!!) It's lovely to read that your partner was so involved from the start! I think mine will be too as when I asked the other day if he would be willing to give baths for example, the reply I got was one of disbelief that I would even ask such a stupid question because of course he would. So I think I'm safe :-) And even though I plan on breastfeeding at the beginning anyway (I'm not very good at sticking to it, it drives me INSANE), I have already got some bottles just in case it doesn't work out. It's a great idea to have a few instant feeds in the cupboard in case I have a hissy fit like I did with my son and could not for the life of me endure another breastfeed. My husband at the time had to run to the shop otherwise the poor baby wouldn't get fed. Well, that's another story but I think your tip is an excellent one!! Thanks for your encouragement x

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