need to vent :(

So, for the past 3 days I've had really irregular contractions but with each big contraction, I've had the trickle feeling and a tiny leakage. Yesterday, I was walking around and felt a big trickle and couldnt stop it, so I went to maternity ward to query if my waters had ruptured a little. They basically told me I'd wet myself. My wee is nuclear and stinks most of the time as its usually really concentrated so I think I'd notice the smell and realise it was only wee...but alas, we went home anyways and the contractions continued and got stronger.

This morning at 5am I was woke up by more contractions, only this time they were regular and only 5mins apart. I monitored this for 2hrs and it still remained at 5mins apart. At 7am I phoned maternity ward only to be told that as I'm coping with the pains, best thing I could do was stay home and run a bath. Do not call unless I'm literally crying out for painkillers coz only then will I be in established labour. I hung up the phone in complete despair! From all angles we are told to phone when any contractions you have are spaced 4-5mins apart. I did what I was told and was made to feel like a neurotic idiot. I'm still getting regular contractions, some worse than others but I'm mentally coping without the need for drugs. Right now I feel like I dont know what I should be looking out for, when is best to phone without being chided for being silly and I feel like baby needs to be literally crowning before they will even attempt to take me seriously. Ive been told that we get these false alarms but to always get them checked out as you never know when your brushing off a false false alarm that could mean a complication. Why must they contradict themselves at every turn!

Sorry for the rant, I really needed it. Just feeling really low, stupid and frustrated. I'm 37+4 and just want this to all be over already. I wish baby would stop playing with me if this is just another practice run.

17 Replies

  • Be really careful with the leaking. I was told I probably wet myself too which I told them was not the case I had leakage from 36 wks. No one listened and when they did check said nothing was happening except dilation. I was monitored and 6 contractions were recorded in the hour but they said it meant nothing. Was monitored every week leading up to birth due to the labour symptoms I had. Anyway, as you know, by the time my waters went in a major way, me and baby had infections and he was distressed. Ended up with meconium in my waters and the c section under general anaesthetic. All because they didn't listen to me. Your waters can leak from elsewhere too, hind waters and fore waters. When I got ill due to infection and called them the night before he came, they told me it was normal to feel like I did......I felt TERRIBLE and couldn't sleep with constant headache. Keep an eye on it all. If you feel unwell, force them to listen. We went through more than we needed to because I didn't know how to make them listen xx

  • u had such a terrible time, its horrible how they take advantage of our inexperience but we know our own bodies. I really feel like crying now and have no idea how to get my voice heard as I think it depends which midwife is in charge where we are. I've got my 38wk midwife appt this Friday coming but hoping something meaningful happens before then. Me and partner are keeping sex off the menu for now as we dont trust the "no" verdict about the waters and are doing all the other things to try and bring it all along like curry and pineapple and driving on bumpy roads. Just wish they would listen :( x

  • Can you not call your midwife to see them earlier than Friday? x

  • unfortunately they are only in the doc surgery once a week and I have no direct contact number for her. If I could, I would coz shes awesome and even took the antenatal class on labour prep. It was a good idea though x

  • Ah that's crap. I had my midwifes mobile number! If it get worse or you leak again, call the hospital and say you are leaking fluid and you need to come in. Don't let them put you off. Once there, insist they are absolutely thorough about the examination and that you get baby monitored. Every time I was monitored they said baby wasn't behaving how they wanted and yet they kept sending me home. Just believe in your body and stand by how you feel. X

  • thank u, I'll give that a try. just bombard them with calls and hope they eventually take note x

  • Lol or campaign outside the doors haha x

  • Sounds like an absolute nightmare. I agree, keep ringing, be really pushy and difficult if that's what is needed for them to see you. Be that awkward patient that you don't really want to be. It's ridiculous - we keep getting told that it's better to get checked and err on the safe side, then you can't get anyone to listen!

    Really hope this is the start of labour for you, and you get to meet your LO soon! Mine still shows no sign of budging - lazy bugger! ;o)

  • It definetely sounds promising of the baby ready to be delivered but also worrying as its hard to tell when or if the baby may be getting distressed.

    Just like "fattyboom" said keep ringing your maternity unit & persereve to be monitored as a lot of NHS staff these days do like to be rather rude

  • If you feel like you need to be checked over then call them and tell them you want to be seen hun xx

  • This happened to a friend of mine and she ended up giving birth in the bath with her bf delivering their son (shes due to b in a national magazine about it)

    they told me not to go to hospital till I cudnt walk anymore so thts what I did and when examined I was 6cm

    I wud turn up at the epau and say u hav felt a big gush and ur in soo much pain. .if u need to exaggerate do it so they examine u. Xx

  • I agree. We all have different pain thresholds for pain.

  • My contractions were 3 mins apart when I 1st called but like you because I wasn't kicking and screaming like most people would be I was told to stay home and have a bath till I couldn't cope with the pain. It was only another hour before I went in! I just rocked up because I couldn't get through on the phone! Was admitted and was almost 5cm in active labour!! If you are concerned for any reason or if you just want some re assurance bubba is ok as this has been going on for so long, call up and say you can't cope with the pain any more, or just show up and ask to be checked!! It's not fair to keep turning you away over the phone without even physically seeing you! For all they know you could have a high pain threshold and be 9cm!! Xx

  • Definitely. I have a high pain threshold. I was having contractions the day I had him and was 4cm dilated but although they were strong contractions, I was just enjoying it...the pain meant he was finally coming lol. If I'd have stayed home, I would have found it hard to say pain became unbearable as I try to get through it so probs would end up leaving far too close to the time due to stubbornness lol. xx

  • hmmmmmmmmm I do not really know what to say about this,as this is my first baby. I have ni clue either,I know most hospitals and midwives are cruel,as others have rightfully said try and be a little pushy and see what happens. Thanks to God I opted for a an elective c-section so no one will tell me crap. it's been written by my consultants and signed. All the same sorry about your pain dear,hope you get attended to quickly xx

  • still refused and contractions have now eased and practically stopped. My OH overheard the midwives talking when he was there with me the other night that under no circumstances were they to admit anybody unless in absolute emergency as there was no bed space at either there or the nearest maternity hospital....sad state of affairs! Thats why I've been getting refused to be seen and being told to stay home for aslong as possible. :( its a real shame.

    Thanks for all the advice ladies, it is great knowing u are all here like a big fountain of knowledge and a real comfort in trying times xx

  • Yh that was the problem one of the times I went midwife had sent me and even she said they probably wouldn't admit me because they were full. Try to relax now and keep an eye on yourself. Sometimes switching off from it helps progression :) x

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