Im so paranoid.... (long post sorry)

[suzie_27]

Hi ladies i havent been on here for a while but i just need to talk to someone, im really struggling! My life has changed so much no we have our son. since ive been pregnant/give birth house life has changed, im stuck doing all the housework, cooking cleaning shopping getting the baby ready , getring my oh ready for work or to go out. i dont hardly get time to wash and barley eat once a day. my oh doesnt really talk to me anymore unless he wants me to do something for him and doesnt really spend time with me... Hes either out or sleeping. he didnt ever used to go out. recently hes started to go out more with the lads he works with. and after a night in work they have been starting to go and have drinks and watch movies afterwork and he comes home happy. hes always got his head in his phone and doesnt really touch me anymore..... I know they say a baby usualy makes or breaks and im fearing it has broke us... I dont want to think the worst of the situation but i just feel so lonley.....

sorry for such a long post, hope everyone is well!! Xx

[Hidden]

Oh him you poor thing, this must be really hard for you.

It's a big thing to admit, that things in a relationship aren't quite right... he sounds like he has just totally put the barriers up. I appreciate he is being difficult, but have you tried to talk to him. Literally sit him down, no tv, no phone and make him talk? Most men ate pretty pants at getting talking about issues!! Xx

[Hidden]

oh -hun

i wouldn,t like to think the baby is breaking your relationship with your OH, but babies do take up alot of or time & it can feel very difficult to do just the simplist of things.

is / could there be a possibility he,s thinking the same things you,re thinking & because of this dosen,t want you feel pressured. men at times do like to think about themselfs but ive got a feeling he may be a bit worried about giving you attention / affection

if you can try having a good chat with him tonight about how you feel

x

[Hidden]

I agree with rach..u need to tlk to him..tell him how u feel and how what hes doing makes u feel, hav a proper honest conversation. Do u hav a relative or friend tht can had to hav a friend or family member too ,look after the baby for an hour or 2 whilst u 2 go out together. ..its gd for all of u. X

[Hidden]

Oh sounds poo hun. Especially after having a baby, us ladies are more vulnerable feeling usually. Definitely talk to him. Get him to really communicate with you. He may have reasons for his actions and you may be seeing it as worse than it is. Thought my bf was acting all weird and distant a couple of months back...well he was but I thought more into than it turned out to be. I made him sit and talk to me and it turned out to be pretty much nothing important andhe was just being a man really (code for a bit of an arse lol). Also in general he does a lot and is good with the bubba but quite often i have to ask him to do house stuff which hes happy to do but not off his own back lol. Hope it goes well hun xx

[Hidden]

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I agree with the other ladies, in saying that men are utterly terrible at communicating, which leaves us women guessing and over thinking! It's difficult for men to adjust to the role of being a Dad, because as Mothers, we tend to have more of a bond and nurturing instinct. It could be that he's not sure what he's "meant to be doing"?

But they're only my opinions. I think talking to him is the best thing to do. Explain your concerns, ask him how he's feeling and perhaps mention how his behaviour is affecting you? As for getting him ready for work and doing what he asks of you - maybe say 'No', once in a while - so you can have some more time to yourself?

Hope this helps in some way, keep us updated Xx

[suzie_27]

Thanks ladies, i got a little side tracked from my plans to attempt to talk to him as my cooker broke and i well and truly lost the will to live, now hes gone to work, no idea what time he will be back so ill be asleep when he gets back so maybe some point tomorrow when he eventually gets up i might be able to chat with him..... Xx

[Hidden in reply to suzie_27]

My cooker broke too I have to sellotape the oven door shut.

[suzie_27 in reply to Hidden]

Mine wont work at all! Keeps fizzing and blowing all the fuses in the house *sigh*

[Hidden in reply to suzie_27]

Ah that's no good. Mine won't be far behind I don't think x