Getting lo to sleep

My lo is now 14 weeks old. He still won't settle on his own in the cot. If i put him in asleep he cries and cries, tears run down his face. I have to get him to sleep on me first. Is anyone else still going through this? Please does anyone have any advice? I have tried the bedtime routine. I bath him then give him baby massage before a bottle. x

20 Replies

  • My bubba stills gets to sleep with me and then I lay him down. He only settles himself for daytime naps. I'm really not worried about this though, as when he gets older his behaviour changes. He never used to settle for daytime naps alone......he never used to have daytime naps at all!! Lol. Some babies like the comfort and they are still young and have time to move on to getting themselves to sleep. We have an evening routine too and he knows what's coming so settles quicker and earlier than he used to anyway. I see it all as progression really. Is it a big problem for you to settle him first? x

  • Thank you for your reply. No it's not a problem getting him to settle first. x

  • Cool....I'm snuggling my boy to sleep as I type :-) enjoy your cuddles x

  • awwwwww. Thank you, you too x

  • Hi, yes in short and just had the worst night with my LO. Don't want to talk about it publicly so PM me if you want to chat Xx

  • I let my son whose 14 weeks settle on me calms him and hes usually in his basket basket by 10..I think we hav got yo remember these babies r just 14 weeks old...!

    The mote active they r and the more they do the more tired they become. .I find tht on days when I go to baby group hes absolutely shattered and the evening is easy. X

  • Thank you for your reply x

  • What you're describing is totally normal. 14 weeks is still very young. Remember he's been in your womb for all those months and had the sound of your heartbeat and your warmth and then suddenly he's out in the big bad world. Enjoy the snuggles with your young baby. Let him fall asleep on you and try not to worry about advice or queries from well meaning friends or family (if I'd a pound for every time I'd been asked "is he sleeping through the night yet" I'd be a rich woman! )Contrary to some popular thinking letting baba sleep on you won't turn him into a clingy demanding baby. Children who are allowed to reach independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence than those who are forced to become independent prematurely. It is so hard at the start but try not to put too much pressure on yourself or him. No two babies are the same! You are doing an amazing job. Things will get easier!

  • Also for some interesting info on how babies sleep

  • Thank you so much for the support. You are right about all the people who go on about how they should be sleeping x

  • They certainly do, my HV wanted to me to put him to bed somewhere between 7-8pm but there is no way I can achieve that right now, everyone has an opinion too as to what's right for you and your baby. I have battled with myself over what's right, tears have fallen and now I am simply doing what's 'right' for him right now & like you, he will settle on me just fine, its laying him down....he's instantly awake! But am working on it & just had 2 awesome self soothing nights in the cot :-) Magic xx

  • Morning :-) I'll just echo the other ladies' good advice. 14 weeks is still really little to totally self soothe. It's really positive that you've established a routine as that will be endlessly helpful as he gets older!

    Like Fattyboom, my LO goes down for daytime naps awake but she has a rocking crib so 5 minutes of rocking sends her off. If 1 is awake and 10 is asleep I try to put her down at 7-8 in the evening - sometimes she'll settle like that and sometimes she'll need another cuddle - I just follow her lead. Keep persevering with the solid evening routine and don't be too hard on yourself for cuddling to sleep, it's totally normal. As he gets bigger and more active and independent he'll start learning to fall asleep without you xx

  • Thank you for that. It really helps x

  • Hi,

    My lo is 17 weeks now and after trying to put her down on her own several times where she would cry so much I would get upset I decided to make a plan and stick to it.

    Instead of walking around patting her/rocking her to sleep I started by just doing a few days of giving her a dummy and teddy amd holding her in my arms so she would go to sleep on her own but with the comfort of me.

    After a few days of doing this at every sleep time I then transitioned her to the cot and miraculously she now settles herself to sleep everytime.

    It may not work for everyone but consistency is key make sure you stick to your plan and I wanted to do my plan to make her feel secure again.

    I hope you find something that works for you both.

  • Thank you for the advice. My little one won't take a dummy x

  • Hi,

    The routine I have for my daughter is a lavender bubble bath (I use a baby body and hair wash for this) then on nights she struggles to get to sleep I use a candle/incense burner. (It's a stand where you put a lit candle on and then above the candle is a little pot which you fill with water and drops of your chosen smell) and that has worked since my daughter was 2 months old and she's nearly 2!

    Just have to add, I've never let Lily cry herself to sleep. I've either been incredibly lucky or the lavender really does calm and relax her :-)

  • I should give the lavendar a try lol..

  • Routine helps a lot aswell, I've gone with bath then story (used to have bottle with book) & bed.. you just have to stick at it :-)

  • My LO is 7 months now and I still cuddle him to sleep at night. But this only takes 5 mins and he then sleeps11 hours so my feelings are if he is sleeping and it's not causing me too much bother, why should I stress? They are only this size for a short time so enjoy them.

    Don't get me wrong I have punished myself for doing this but I know that eventually he will reach a stage where he will go into his cot and fall asleep on his own but right now I'm not bothered about rocking him for a short 5 minutes if it means he sleeps through the night. If he wakes at night he settles himself so it's fine!

    Just enjoy your LO and cherish the cuddles you have and don't punish yourself!

  • Thank you for the support x

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