Size 20 mammy-2-be / BMI of 40 / rude health professionals

hi im a size 20 mammy-2-be with a BMI of 40

i still feel fit and healthy - but i often get spoken down to by health professionals

especially by the anaesthetist i saw at the hospital the other week - he basically had me grouped as FAT and to make his life easier he wanted me to have an epidural / c-section

which i dont want - i wanna go as natural as i can (unless i need help)

but he giggled and laughed when i told him why i didnt want this and went on about my weight and made me feel like i have no rights

has anyone else had this or been made to feel as small as i did??


28 Replies

  • Hi I was the same but with 2nd one me BMi was 48.6 dnt let them tell you that u need a c section dnt matter on size you cn still have baby natural I had help with first one as her shoulders got stick was induced at 38 wks as was dietbic thou pregnancy but if nt I would if had them both natural well I did it with no c section just ignore them Hun it's hard try nd rise above it I was a size 24 wen I had lil girl lot weight after as u go off food x

  • That's out of order! You cannot be forced into a c-section or any other form of procedure no matter what your weight. I've had similar things to deal with and my BMI is only 32! My suggestion would be to report him to your local health authority. Write them a letter detailing how he belittled your decisions for your birth plan and how he's a bully - no-one should be put through that!

    I'd then demand to see another consultant. You have the right to be seen by professionals who don't ride roughshod over your choices and who will back you up on what you want. Be strong, stand up to the bullies and you'll have the labour and birth you want. Good luck sweetie and don't forget, we're all here if you need us *hugs*

  • Tbh with that bmi you are quite likely to have complications so they're only trying to warn you. It's more dangerous for the baby so they will want you to have a medical birth.

  • My job involves working with the anaesthetists on a daily basis and I know it's hard but I have seen in the past where pregnant ladies with a higher BMI have been rushed into theatre for emergency c-sections, when they have complications (which unfortunately with a higher BMI, does put you more likely to have complications and need intervention) and sometimes the anesthetists if they have time can try and get a spinal in (if no epidural is already in place). But often if it's in the case of a lady with a higher BMI, this can be really hard and near impossible in an emergency situation and has often meant giving a patient a general anesthetic, which I wouldn't recommend for any pregnant lady as you don't get to hear your baby's first cry or be the first person to hold them properly. So I don't think the anaesthetist is trying to be mean, but he's looking out for your and your unborn child's best interests so you don't end up having to go through the trauma of an emergency c-section with a general anaesthetic.

  • Yh I had a emergency c section under general anaesthetic...not to do with size as I'm a size 12 and he said he doesn't know why he couldn't get the spinal in...and it was horrible to not see my baby straight away and my partner couldn't be in for the birth. My baby was all washed and dressed when I met him and people told me the wrong time that he was born. Not a nice experience at all and if can be avoided really should!! x

  • fattyboom im so sorry to hear this - i hope this dont happen to me - i bet it was terrible :( hugs

  • It was a long drawn out issue really. I now know for sure that my waters were leaking from 35weeks and I was in slow labour from 36 weeks. But I couldn't get anyone to listen to me about my waters and me and bubba ended up in hospital for a week after with infections. He had to have loads of tests and stuff and my aftercare was a joke. Nightmare! x

  • :( oh gosh u really did go through it didnt you? :(

    poor you - so sorry :(

    just so pleased both you and your little one are ok now - hugs hun :( xxx

  • Hopefully your experience will be nothing like that :-) hasn't put me off wanting another one in the future though :D lol x

  • oh good im pleased - dont let anything or anyone stop you from being a mummy - im sure your brilliant at it :)

  • i do understand what your saying - but it was his manner - he did not listen to my worries or want to talk about things - he was smug and giggly - made me feel quite rubbish - i wanted to know the dangers and risks or epidural - and how easy it would be to get one in - but he just wasnt bothered and wanted me gone so he was able to see another paitent :/

  • im terrified of being given a general anesthetic - but also scared of epidurals - i dont really know alot about them - im scared it will go wrong - and i wont get feeling back :/

  • Snap in in that boat to, I had to see a dietishen who told me what not to eat like I'm stupid I know what I'm supposed to have and what I'm not it's just hard not to have what you want... Plus I work very long hours so not always able to cook healthy every day sick of hearing prepair the day before i have done this and when the next day comes don't want it when I had my son 15 years ago I had natural without epidural against their wishes they wanted c-section I held my ground and said as long as my baby isn't in distress I want natural well I'm doing the same this time round to I feel great within myself apart from hormones going off on on every so often I'm taking every day as it comes so ladies do what your body tells you as you know it better than anyone else :-)

  • i had an appointment to see one of those but i didnt go - i didnt wanna go through more agro and humilliation and for another health professional to tell me im fat - i already know :/

    good on you for doing your own thing and for things being ok :)

    hopfully i will follow suit :)

    i just want the option - and if my baby is stressed then id defo say yes to epidural but im not getting pushed into it :)

  • Well I'm going for the same this time round unless baby needs help this mamma will push :-) if the baby needs help then I would go for c-section but only as last resort and even then they would have to knock me out don't wanna be awake for that I don't think. I would freak and panic scares me to even think about it xx

  • yeah it frightens me too but i dont want to miss out on being the first to hold my baby - it apparently takes ages for you to wake up properly :/

    hope we both bring our little ones into this world safely :)

    how far are you?

  • Im 18 weeks nearly half way got my next scan Xmas eve consultant talking about me only going to 36 weeks as had problems with my son ALL those years ago I feel old (I'm 36) had my son at 21 wow the differance in age really does count I have to have a nap every day or I'm a bitch to OH and all those I meet but hey I just blame the hormones ;-) get away with line toooo much ha ha

  • lol i like naps too - but dont always get them as BF likes to be out n about n doesnt get why im always so tired - i wish men would understand how tiring growing a baby is!! lol!!! enjoy ur scan :)

  • Good luck with you too hun I'm here if yôu need me x

  • :)

    awww thats kind - thanks - same to you too :)

  • They surely are quite rude aren't they, my midwife kept telling me last pregnancy "your BMI is high and you are not very tall" yes thank you I'm aware of that, it was a politer way of saying I am short and fat. I am classed as high risk just because I have a BMI of 31.

  • thats not fair - 31 isnt high :/

  • Hi, I agree, you should not have been made to feel like this, and the doctor should have been more sympathetic or tactful.

    You should not be forced into doing anything you don't want to however I think you need to make yourself fully aware of the increased risks you may encounter. Of course, any pregnant woman, big or small, is at risk in pregnancy and childbirth but it's significantly higher in those with a high bmi.

    So long as you are aware of what could happen, and think you can live with the consequences if it does, then of course it's entirely your choice how you give birth!

    Good luck!

  • thanks for replies :)

    i understand there are more risks with my bmi but it was the way he wouldnt talk about anything with me - he wouldnt talk about my worries or a epidural or the operation - he just spoke down to me throughout the whole appointment - made me feel about 2ft tall :/

    like i wasnt a human being

  • Yh that's really horrible :-( there is never any need for anyone to speak to you in a rude manner x

  • Hi there,

    If you read my post from a few weeks ago ive had the same problem. The woman who done my scan spoke to me as though i shouldnt be pregnant as im heavier. The best advice ive had off the girls on this page is complain about it! Dont let them think just cause your heavier your any different to any other girl thats pregnant!! xxx

  • yeah our first sonographer was horrible - she spoke down to me and made a point of telling me i had fat on my stomach and she kept pushing REALLY hard with the monitor head even though there was no need as you could see our baby really clearly from the second she placed it on my stomach :/ xx

  • Yea i had the same she was saying "i cant get a clear picture because of your weight" I actually left the place in pain she had pushed it that hard into my stomach. I have another scan on friday i will let you know how i get on at that one :) xx

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