Men!!

So otherhalf came home from offshore a few days ago and goes back next Monday for his last trip before the little one is due which will make me 37 weeks by the time he gets back. To say I'm peed off with him this morning would be an understatement! I was really looking forward to him coming home and he is usually fantastic when he is home but since he came home he has been nothing but a pain and I'm already counting down the days until he goes back away! He has been so lazy, refuses to get off the couch, will not do any simple things like walk the dog or do the dishes or even cook us some dinner! At night he is snoring like anything and I know this isn't his fault but I feel like I haven't slept since he came home and I had to sleep on the couch last night!! But the worst thing is since he has come home he is still expecting me and him to be intimate (sorry for tmi!) and to be quite honest I am not in the mood for it whatsoever!! And I feel like he is expecting it every night!! I am now 34+2 and I'm small but have a very large bump! For the last week things have changed as they were going so well but now I have constant heartburn and indigestion, morning sickness ALL the time which is including me actually being sick, not just feeling nauseous! And is all making me very very tired! I have tried explaining to him how I feel but he dosent seem to understand and just goes off and sulks! As if doing all his washing, cleaning, ironing, cooking, walking the dog and me having to drive everywhere isn't enough( his car broke down and won't be fixed until after he is back from his next trip). And now he is complaining his back is sore, as if he is wanting the sympathy vote! I have no sympathy for him whatsoever!! Here is me stuck on the couch all night with the hurl bucket in front of me, he comes through, says nothing and saunters off back to bed!! Has made me so mad this morning! I sound like such a big wuss saying this but all I would like is for someone to take care of me for my last few weeks as I'm feeling so awful now! I'm usually a person who hates being taken care of and is very independent but I just feel I need help now! The sooner little one is here, the better! Grr if only men could blooming feel what we women go through in pregnancy! But saying that I don't think he would be able to cope.. Seeing as what back ache for a night has done to him! Try constant back ache for the last five months love!!!

Sorry for the rant ladies but I do feel a bit better after letting it all out :( hope everyone is well x

17 Replies

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  • Have a good old rant. Men are so insensitive sometimes. Especially when they still think they're being sensitive. Mines driven me crackers the other way. Was so glad he's gone back to work. He's been insistent on doing everything and taking forever over doing it. Took him 10 mins to put up cot, yet four hours to do dishes? And kitchen still looked like a meteorite hit it! Getting a little more mobile now and day he went back, apart from getting the rubbish out took me less than an hour!!!

    Try and do something for yourself. The last few weeks are hard. Might be he just doesn't know how to treat you at mo, esp being away. You'll be changing every time he's home so maybe he just can't get used to you needing cared for? still needs a kick though x

  • Oh my OH keeps telling me how tired he is.. . ..... but at least he isn't up every hr or two for a wee or because my hips/pelvis are in agony.

    But no I have to sympathise with him and how tired he is. I just want to punch him in the face every time he says hes tired. And I'm not a violent person!!! :') but boy do they know how to annoy us.

    I just don't think they register how hard it is to be pregnant.

  • I'm in exactly the same boat as you. Every night i wake up with pressure pain on the side im lying on and need to roll myself over. I havent had a full night of unbroken sleep in forever, Ive forgotten what its like.

    My OH works nights and so doesnt get to see this, so when he is there on his night off (which is only 1night a week maximum) he blames me for fidgeting and keeping him awake! I have a lot of anger towards him for that. They just dont have a clue do they, men! xx

  • This is the best place to have a good rant "especially as it's about a man" I believe we all can identify / feel your pain :)

    My OH also seems to be very tired lately too so much that his snoring is just so loud at times I have'to give him a good nudge just to tell him to SHUT UP!

    Im starting to believe there could be some truth in that ( men can also get / feel our pregnancy symptoms) but without the physical, but that still doesn't give them the right to be pain in the arse's.

    Im now 37+5 with my 2nd so I honestly can sympathise with you but the best thing to do is take it easy as much as you can as the more he pisses you off the more your hormones kick in too.

    xx

    All the best

  • Lol! Poor men! However, you are all right! When I was pregnant, my boyfriend was sympathetic but clearly did not get how hard doing normal things became at the end!! And now the baby is here, I respect the fact he goes to work but the falling asleep on the sofa early and the urgency to get to bed winds me up a bit at times. He gets home and all he does is looks after the baby if I ask him to...and I have to ask him to do everything, he doesn't just get on and do it! He doesn't have to clean or do dinner. I don't think he understands how demanding it is being in with the baby all day then doing the night shift all week bar one night that he does (which I appreciate). Being in a new area and knowing no one means I dont get to socialise which he does at work at least! And I don't drive which makes it worse!! Definitely doing that next year to gain some freedom back. He really doesn't get it! x

  • It's so frustrating, I understand he works hard offshore and his time as home is his time to relax. I do all the cooking and cleaning, all the washing, walk the dogs regularly and take care of anything else that needs done. He literally dosent have to lift a finger at home!! But because things have got so bad for me the last week and have been threatened by GP that if I can't keep my food down then I will be put into hospital which is really something I don't want! I literally can't keep any food or drink down whatsoever and starting to become very poorly with it. All I ask of him is to do the dishes, or walk the dog for me, or cook dinner. Dinner dosent get cooked if I ask.. He will order a takeaway which makes me sick at the smell.. Fair enough the dishes will get done.. But it will be five days later than when I asked. And the poor dog will get shoved in the garden! It's not like I've been lazing round the house the past 34 weeks, I've been doing everything! And I don't mind it as he is working and I'm just working from home. But I am struggling now because things have started to go down hill, and all I want is a wee bit of help!! It's the sex thing that winds me up the most! Does he really think I'm going to be interested when I'm feeling like this and can't see my feet!! He asked last night, I said no and he is still in a grump! Counting down the days until he is offshore again.. At least I will be able to keep a tidy house!!xx

  • Lol. Oh that would majorly piss me off too. I am lucky in the respect that my bloke is very understanding in that respect at any time as I know many men aren't. But it's ridiculous! Not exactly a lot to ask, for them to put themselves in ur shoes and realise you may not be feeling up for it at the moment!! Sometimes I wonder just what goes on in a man's brain lol x

  • Ur oh probably sees his time at home as time to chill out rather than step up with domestic stuff and looking after u...I had a couple of days where I just cried cz I felt like he wasnt supporting me but in hindsight he was doing more than he usually wud but not as much as I wanted.when I was pregnant my boyfriend got annoyed cz I was throwing up every morning and parantly it was horrible tht he had to listen to it and I was like do u think I like chucking up every morning. To b fair my boyfriend will get on and cook and stuff and do housework so won't moan bout tht. I do appreciate he works and does college but the other day when I went to a wedding I left my son with his daddy from 9-6 when I got bk he was so quick to hand me our son i didnt even hav time to get out my bridesmaid dress and he was like tht was hard work and I was like try doing it for 6 weeks day and night. I bet he has a gd moan at work bout me lol. Xx

  • My lo is 12 weeks now and am with her 24x7 even on daddy duty days I would come down to. Breast feed her as my darling husband can't get the baby to drink expressed milk until baby gets really hysterical..... And today when I asked him to spend more time talking to her instead of putting her in a chair next to himself, he started preaching me about Mozart for babies (more annoying as he was probably sleep walking the house whole of previous week when baby was listening to Mozart ! God men !!)

  • Oh my goodness I thought it was just me who felt like that!!

    As you ladies already mentioned I've become frustrated at how their lives just carry on as usual with very little change but they think they're so hard done by! My husband plays golf and arranges days without asking and I'm like ...so whose looking after the baby then? He just assumes I won't have any plans and will be at home (I usually am if course but that's not the point!)

    I also moan at him for not talking to him enough as mentioned above by ritz21 - sitting next to them in a chair doesn't really qualify as child care in my book!!

    Having said all of this he does many things without being asked or prompted and always ask what more I need him to do which he usually does without question.

    I guess us Mummy's have standards for our little monkeys and nothing other than that is good enough!!!

  • Ha Ha Ha... Oh my days... It's not just me then?!?!...

    My OH is a nightmare too! I'm not working fair enough, but I swear to god I do EVERYTHING around the house and for him, except wipe his bloody bottom!!!... I found myself massaging HIS sore shoulders last night after I'd spent all day packing for a house move, lifting things I probably shouldn't at 6 months PG, cooking supper for him, and clearing up all with really bad back spasms...(because of the lifting no doubt)

  • Sorry... I got cut off mid rant!... I'm not done yet...

    So I'm sat rubbing his neck and strongly resisting the urge to wrap my hands around it and squeeze....TIGHTLY!... I swear, if he compares his symptoms to mine one more time I'm going to spontaneously combust!!! So this morning, when his alarm screams out at 7AM after me hardly sleeping anyway, he rolls into me and initiates sex!... Because HIS day can't function properly without it!!!! What the heck?!?!...

    I just can't believe the gall of it sometimes, but, somehow, that said... I love the bones of him. I think I'm a little bit mental! He works super hard for us and I'd be lost without him. I'm just relieved to read I'm not the only woman out there that feels as though they're flying solo through pregnancy!...

    There. That's better. Rant over! Ta for listening....

  • Lol! The continuation of ur rant made me laugh....welcome to the men are bizarre little beings club! Haha

  • Hahaha oh I must say I do feel better after everyone's rants lol! At least I'm not alone!! Yes I must admit I'm the same, if it wasn't for him working as hard as he does we wouldn't have half the things we do and a comfortable life. And I do completely adore him(most of the time)!! I think I wind myself up to though, I'm a very clean person.. And he is the most untidy person I know. How we work in that way I will never know!!

  • On the positive side: looking after a baby will be a piece of pie compared to looking after your 'man-child' ;)

  • Hahaha aw that is so true!! Aw this has cheered me up to no end!!

  • Saying that...you WILL have to actually wipe this ones bum though ;)

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