Feeling really anxious...about EVERYTHING :(

I'm nearly 29 weeks and getting myself into a bit of a tizzy at the moment and just need to air my thoughts...

Because if my age and stats I have a 1:867 chance of my baby having Downs. I know this is technically low risk, and my husband is happy with those odds, but I can't get it out of my head and I'm a bit frightened. Before I knew of the risk of miscarriage I'd have considered an amnio, but when I found out the odds of miscarriage is greater than the risk of her having Downs, it made no sense.

Over the summer I got myself upset because I'd glossed all the skirting boards in the living room and dining room and convinced myself I'd hurt the baby by giving her nerve damage from the fumes :(

And now, because my baby isn't started by loud noises, I'm worried she's deaf :(

In my head, at the moment, I have a nerve damaged, deaf, Downs baby growing inside me :(

Oh yeah, as well as all the general worries and paranoia that I'm doing the right things and eating the right things and will I be a good enough Mum...blah di blah di blah.

Last week I was excited but all these negative feelings are getting on top of me today. Probably hormones & tiredness but I can't get it out of my head. Plus am getting increasingly anxious that my husband STILL hasn't sorted out driving lessons for himself (he said he'd do an intensive weekend thing so that he can drive us to hospital and bring us home after the birth) and I just feel like we're running out of time.

(Just typing this out is making me cry so I'm going to go and make myself a cup of tea.)

*sigh*

9 Replies

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  • First of all I can definetely say it seems like it's just within our "nature" to worry as mother's & mother's to be, so please don't feel as if you're being too hard on yourself

    You mentioned you may have a high risk of the baby having "downs" if you don't mind me asking how old are you ?

    Im 32 yrs old & I was offered the "amino" test several times by my Community midwife & G.P, the funniest thing is it never really used to cross my mind until I was actually offered it but in the end I refused as the whole procedure of the test didn't / dosen't sit well with me :(

    At 29wks you haven't got too long to go now so enjoy these last weeks of freedom while you can & Im sure everything will be fine :)

    xx

  • 1:150 is considered 'high risk, medically. However, 1:867 still sounds bad to me. I'm 35.

  • I'm 25 weeks and I am having these days very frequently too. Constantly worrying over the what ifs and how will I cope once baby is here as I feel inadequate due to a lack of knowledge.

    These feelings u are having, while irrational, are perfectly normal it appears. From the thread I put on when I had a wobble last week, everyone was really kind and reassuring and let me know I'm not alone. I hope u get the same from this.

    Your baby is at low risk of downs confirmed by the nuchal test, 1 in almost a thousand chance, I'd be quite reassured by that if ur age was possibly just a contributing factor.

    Maybe baby isn't startled by loud noises because ur womb isnt sending the soundwaves through efficiently and if the womb is situated further back in ur body, the sound would be more muffled to baby. If u are really worried though, baby can be tested by health visitor for reactions to sounds when born.

    The paint thing is actually better now as the chemicals they used to use to make them are now banned and the toxic fumes are not as bad as they used to be years ago. They may just not have updated the health advice for mums-to-be yet. Please dont beat urself up as it is highly unlikely that you have done any real harm to ur baby from painting the skirting board.

    You know years ago, when my mum was pregnant, she used to eat runny eggs and drink coffee and do all the things that we are told not to, she even smoked! We are all perfectly healthy normal kids now having kids of our own.

    Sorry for the really long response, I just hope it helps in some way. Sending muchos huggles!!

  • Thank you for your response; and it is comforting. Its also good to know that Im not the only one having wobbles and funny moments....the other week I cried because the swimming baths smelt of wee :S

    I'm 35 so although I don't FEEL that old, I remember looking over the midwifes shoulder and seeing 1:thousands for the younger age groups. I know that 1:150 is medically 'high risk' but it's all so scary know knowing what's going inside.

    As for the noise thing, the sonographer did say that the placenta is right at the front so maybe she's got a bit of a sound buffer ;)

  • I think you need to stop worrying and enjoy being pregnant before it is over. There is nothing more precious than carrying a baby & your wasting your positive pregnancy thoughts with worrying about silly things. My pregnancy was snatched away frm me at 32weeks & wud do anything to get it back.

  • So much easier to say "stop worrying" than to actually do it! I'm 26 weeks and have really struggled with negative thoughts in the last week - worrying whether the baby is alright, panicking when he doesn't move for a while. I think it's actually totally normal to worry in this way. I know it's not helping you, and it would be great if we could all stay positive throughout, but we're actually human and dealing with hormones/emotions/thoughts/physical changes we've never had to cope with before! I'm sure you're coping amazingly, and a cup of tea and a cry sounds perfectly reasonable to me :o)

    Re: paint fumes, modern paints are much safer now, and you're not working with them every day, so I'm sure it's fine. My baby doesn't react to loud noises either, so I wouldn't worry about that one. The Down Syndrome stats are so hard to get your head around - it just gives you a probability, not a certainty. But one in nearly a thousand is still low risk, so try to take heart from that.

    Sending you a virtual hug - hope you feel better and brighter soon. X

  • Thank you. You're right: were just human (oh...and very emotional, so perhaps I need to be a bit kinder on myself). I think it's the 'feeling out of control and not knowing what's going on down there and just wanting to know that she's ok. I've tried to regain a bit of control by starting to get my hospital bag together -I know its a bit early but it feels good to start ticking things off the list. And husband has planned to paint the nursery the week after next so I'm really looking forward to that :) x

  • Sending you hugs and happy thoughts. I'm having crap emotions right now as well. Sometimes things get in your mind and it's hard to get them back out. Try chilling out with bubble baths, reading slushy novels (anything you would previously do to relax), as far as hubby goes, why not book the lessons for him so then you know it's sorted. I've already asked my friend if she can drive us home from the hospital and I'm only 11 weeks :) It's one less thing for me to stress about.

    Try and take care huni. Hoping the worrying lifts for you xx

  • Thank you. I'm feeling better this week. I think that last week everything just got ontop of me a bit and I'm really tired from work etc and my defences are always low when I'm tired.

    As for hubby, we had a chat about the driving on friday and he said he's going to get it sorted. I want to take over and get the number off his friend for him, but it's better that he does it. He's going to get the number of the recommended driving instructor and book in for an intensive course and test. (Theres nothing wrong with his actual driving, he just needs to learn how to pass the test, and DO it.)

    xx

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