Update; Inductions, stretch marks, waddling and worrying about the OH!!!

Hi everyone! havent been on here much the past couple of weeks. You know how it is. Well im 35 weeks on thursday, was told last wednesday at my 34 week midwife appointment that baby is engaged. I informed her i was having pelvic and hip pain on and off the past few days, and she confirmed hes getting ready. It was also my first appointment since being diagnosed with gestational diabetes, she was happy at how ive been managing my blood sugars since finding out.

I also had a hospital appointment on monday with the diabetic team, and i also got squeezed in for a scan that day too to see how baby has grown in the past couple of weeks. He seems to be getting more in proportion now, where as two weeks ago, his abdominal circumference was measuring large. They also checked the blood vessels in his head and the blood flow of the umbilical cord, which was all fine. They asked if i understood the risks in having gestational diabetes, and also if i fully understood it, which i think i demonstrated that i did understand. I have had two high readings with my blood sugar since testing, but i knew why those readings were high, and ive learned from that. Its amazing what a white roll can do!

I know that the risk of stillbirth is higher with gestational diabetes, which does worry me, but trying not to stress. I was told i would be induced a week or two before my due date to reduce this risk, they said it was safer for baby. Which is good, as i get to meet my little man sooner, but in two weeks time, i will most likely be given a date to be induced. I guess its good knowing when its going to happen, as most women dont get this sort of control, but in a way, not knowing has its own bonuses too. Ive also heard that induction hurts more.....which makes sence i guess as ur body is being forced into labor. I guess im just a bit apprehensive about it.

Well at 34+4 (this past monday) baby was estimated at being 5ibs 11oz. So hes most probably going to be a little bruiser :) i also noticed at the weekend that ive finally been hit with stretchmarks. They dont bother me, they are on my sides, and arent too dark yet, almost looks like leopard print lol. Bump is still flawless atm but i doubt that will last.

My man has been working so hard recently, up at 5am for work, then when he is done working, he is ferrying around his grandmother or mother or helping out his little boy and his ex with whatever it is they need help with. It doesnt bother me that he helps out his ex and son, of course not, why would it? He has a responsibility! (one of the reasons i knew i wanted to have children with him is knowing he would always be there from seeing him with his first born) but its getting to the point now where if he doesnt say something to everyone else who expects him to drop everything for them, then im going to. Its his dad, grandmother and mother. He does so much for all three which i cant really knock as they r his family, but its everyday. He has things to do here, at home, as I cant do everything and these things i cant physically do anyway. If i could i would, just to give him a break. But none of them seem to realise we are having a baby very very soon, and his grandmother almost has the attitude of 'back in my day...' bla bla bla. and everyone treats him like a taxi. I feel bad for him. And i feel frustrated as these things that he needs to do, have been waiting to be done for aaaages, but they keep getting put off as other things keep taking priority. We have argued about it, as i 'nag' that these things arent done and keep getting put off, and he seems to put everyone else first. But he really doesnt have any free time. He doesnt have any time to himself and i feel bad for him. Tonight he was feeling a bit ill and dizzy, because he has hardly slept in days, im worried hes gonna be fried out before baby even arrives. One thing im happy about is he is atleast having a fishing day with some friends tomorrow, he loves his fishing but even that has taken a back seat recently. Its his 'me time'! Even his family have had a moan about him doing this fishing day. I just cant believe it. He obviously needs this. he was in bed by 9:45 tonight, not like him. I hope hes feeling ok tomorrow as hes been suffering with headaches the past few days and was feeling dizzy tonight and was looking a bit pale. He cant really say no to his grandmother as she is an elderly woman, and his mother is disabled, i just wish they would cut him some slack and think "well maybe he should spend some time at home before baby arrives". Ive already decided that if this continues after baby arrives, im saying something. I was told today that his uncle (his mothers brother/grandmothers son) even said to his mother that she cant rely on my man as much as she does and apparently she just bit his head off. Of course i want us both to help her with whatever she needs help with, but we also have to help ourselves. My man goes round there every morning when hes working (hes a delivery driver) to have a coffee, and see how she is. He reports it back to his mother, but she isnt here all the time, she only gets half the picture. I just feel they all rely on him too much. I want to be able to rely on him, and i should be able to.

Wow, that was a rant and a half, must of needed it! Sorry people, didnt actually realise that all this bothered me this much! If anyone actually gets all the way through this post, well done, u have my respect lol! Seems im worrying more about the OH atm, than the birth. Hopefully everything will work itself out in the end.... :) *fingers crossed*

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8 Replies

  • Families who would have them!!! Glad all is well with your gd hope it stays that way! And think you or your other half def need to say something. Big changes coming up xxx

  • Ah sounds like he is trying to do everything!are his mum and dad together still if so them is her husband who should be helping her more.. ur oh has a life and he will make himself ill maybe u should say that to her if it comes to it. . Say that ur worried about him it's a difficult one cos she obviously expects him to be there for her all the time. . Also With his nan is great that he is involved but again to much..... sounds like he is run ragged. . Think U need to sit him down and have a chat with him x

  • No his mum and dad split up when he was 2, she re married, but hes alot older than her and is getting on himself, plus when she comes to visit from the isle of wight, he never comes with her. its a tricky situation, and i have spoke to him, told him he needs to make us his priority but he cant say no to his nan and his mother, they have helped us alot in the past, but like i said to him, them helping isnt a bribe, well at least it shouldnt be. Im just glad he is having a day to himself today. But things need to change! x

  • This is why I'm glad I moved. I love my family to bits but before I moved I was like your OH. Running ragged after everyone else and never having a second for my self. Was only actually when I moved (over 100miles) that I realised how much I was doing and that it was ok to be a bit selfish now and then. Does sound like he's ready to crash and burn, and while I hope he doesn't I do hope should it happen he sees that everyone else isn't going to run around after him. Why aren't they coming and helping you with the jobs they are taking him away from or giving him time? Simple, because they are selfish and he lets them be. That unfortunately is the key. He lets them be. My OH is very good with his family but he has had to teach me the word NO. Now having to rely on him so much I understand how much everyone else was just taking advantage of my helpful nature.

    In fact my brother has aspergers and has just turned 21. He was furious when he knew I was moving so far away as he simply didn't know how he was going to cope and made me feel super guilty for leaving him. However a year on and after coming up to Scotland by himself on the train he actually thanked me and told me was best thing I did. There are some who still complain, but that's not my problem. I hope he takes some time out soon because he sounds like I did at some points. Ready for an exhausted breakdown. He will make himself ill and you need him. In fact if you do have to put your foot down start with that. They are making him ill and he needs time out so they are just going to have to cope without him. Otherwise how is he going to manage with a crying baby? Bless, I really feel for you and for him. It's hard saying no to family, but definitely needs done! x

  • I totaly agree! I keep asking "why dont they offer to help" all the time, especially about his dad as he lives about two seconds round the corner, but they never offer. And we both need help round about now! Ur right, everyone is being selfish to their own needs and completely forgetting about ours. We did used to live down on the south coast which was over an hours drive away, then we inherited this house and moved back up. but even living down there, he still drove up every day. Think i need to teach him the word no!!!

    on an other note, Scotland, eh?! thats where all the most beautiful things come from :D lol (although ive actually lived down south for longer than i lived in scotland......still got my accent tho :) )

  • lol Scotland. I'm not really picking up the accent, but as lived as far north as could without being in Scotland before no one seems to mind. Is quite funny when they try to speak 'english' so I'll understand, in fairness lived in the borders before and Scottish accents were much stronger. Have to say is much friendlier here, and everyone helps everyone else. Hope you can get through to him. If he makes himself ill then he can't be any help to anyone. On saying that did take moving a few hours from my lot that made me realise. Don't think you want to do anything quite so drastic and wasn't cos of them moved. Just circumstances meant made sense. Is def best thing I did :) x

  • I agree with Joda...does sound like he needs to start saying no a bit more often...when baby comes you are going to need him more too then he will feel he has to split himself even more ways. Think you need to sit him down and tell him all of your concerns and then help him come up with a plan of action.....will probably mean backing away slowly from all he does a little at a time. Good luck and hope it all gets better for you xxxx

  • Thank you, my man just tries too hard to please everyone, hes also the first to admit it. Im going to talk to him (again) in the coming days, i just dont want to add to his stress. At least one person should be thinking about his stress levels! anyways, thank you :) x

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