Things Have got worse but can only get better!

feeling A bit down today as things have finally come to a head and I have made the decision that I'm better off on my own. ..I have tried for a month to sort my relationship out but its clear is completely broken down.....I have tried so hard but being at the bottom of someone's list time and time again has just drained me physically and emotionally. .... he had become more I dont care about u because I think he feels I pushed him into having another baby and he resents me for it. ..well thats how I feel. ..I can't talk to him about anything he is just so immature and doesn't get the whole how to treat someone with love and respect. ....its crap timing! . Well we spilt up 3 months ago. .. but realisation came that we have completely broken down came on thurs taking the car away from me cos it's his car and he can do what he wants regardless of my feelings even though it's our car and I put money into buying it as well! . ... he wanted to lend it to his brother for a week its a seven seater but I didn't want to use his brothers car as I'm quite scatty at the moment and felt anxious about using someone else's car. . But he didn't care said he was lending it to his brother anyway so I said finei don't want nothing to do with the car then keep it and shove it. ..although I will really struggle out of pride now I won't drive it so I have limited myself as I can't walk far due to spd and sciatica but I'm so hurt and angry I won't ever step foot in that car again...I cancelled the insurance as it was in my name and I don't want other people driving it on my insurance but he said he now would put me on his insurance which I told him no thanks as he will just take the car when he pleases or someone wants to Borrow it and I'll be car less again. ... so now I'm hoping I can get a loan which I'm going to really struggle to pay back and get a car... but at least no one will be able to take it away from me this time. ... I've managed to buy all the baby's bits myself he rekons he will give me some money I won't hold my breath. .. but I have no money now. . Prob seems really petty but I am so hurt by his actions yet again..I need to look forward on my own. ... but he can be so nasty when he doesn't get his own way I'm anxious what his next nasty move will be.. if he doesn't get his own way he islike a spoilt child .... which I really don't need at the moment. ... after 3 days of tears and feeling a bit down I'm hoping things will get better. ...I should of never wasted my time trying to sort things out with him I was in a much better place when we first spilt up. ..but I tried for my kids. . So no one can take that away from me :)

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  • It doesn't seem petty in the slightest. What you have put here is just a tiny bit of your relationship.....nobody can know exactly how your relationship went except you two. I'm sorry to hear you are so upset especially at this time when as you said you really don't need it.

    I hope it starts feeling better for you soon. You tried to make it work and that's all you can do. Now you need to do what's right for you. And you were right when you said that things can only get better :-) :-) take care of yourself, your bump and your family now xx

  • Thanks Xx

  • you did the best you could and you can hold your head up high knowing that you made the effort for your kids sakes. He sounds like an absolute tool and has no notion of caring for or protecting his unborn child, is he at least good with the other little one? Imagine taking a vehicle away from you at a time when u need it most...what a despicable excuse of a human being!

    Best thing u can do is look after urself, baby and ur little one. Being self sufficient and able to live ur life perfectly without him will most likely be of annoyance to him. He sounds like he needs you to need him and went to the extremes to feed this requirement. Show him ur a strong woman as a final F-you salute to him, you are better off without that hun xx

  • I will don't want to as I wanted it all to work out all be ok finally but I know I'm fighting a losing battle x

  • I can only imagine you tried your best to make the relationship work so its important to not feel guilty with your decision.

    I've read a "quote" somewhere on-line which states; "in times of crisis we all get to see the difference between men & women. " women act & behave like mothers & men act & behave like kids.

    The best thing to do (in my opinion) is to keep things as simple as you can for the children's sake & if he feels as if he wants to see them ( away from you) for a period of time you should let him know it'll be fine.

    Give him space & time & you never know once this Lil one is born he may realise by then he's made a mistake.

    xx

  • Love The quote very true! X

  • He's never treated me properly really he just always thinks I'll be there for him and up to now I have but I dint know if it's me being pregnant but this time I've said no. ...u want us to get back together u treat me properly. .. but he can't quite grasp that. ... he sees the kids regularly and loves them dearly. ..I just need to keep away from him cos he really stoops to all time lows to hurt me when he doesn't get his own way. .. is all just so draining.. but have to concentrate on me and my children from now on :)

  • Definetely 100% agree with you.

    As i said before some men just dont know how to act / compose themselfs at times.

    I bet you'll even be surprised just how well you'll cope without him.

    xx

  • Stay strong xx hugs

  • Getting It back slowly x

  • Hey Hun if its the right path to take then take it there's no point being unhappy with someone for the sake of the kids. So long as they are number one and don't feel like they are being pushed and pulled. I'm just. Sorry its come to the decision to go seperate ways. Hopefully you can have a middle ground to both work from. How long have you got left cant be many weeks now 6-7? Think we all need cheering up at the mo. xx

  • Hi got 8 weeks this thurs if they induce me at 39 I've asked fora section of I get to 39 as dint want to pusha baby out if I go over as I've had a previous section and baby will be bigger but I need to keep my distance from him asi can't trust him to act like an adult but ill manage by hook or by Crook ! X

  • Hi Babymother, you poor thing, sending you good vibes. It sounds as though you have made the right decision and are being strong and independent, which can't be easy but you are obviously stronger than you think. X

  • Well i will agree with you, it does sound like u are better off without him. This makes me quite angry (as u can tell, my hormones are going nuts), hes in full control of his emotions and hormones atm, wheres the understanding?! And it sounds like u really need that car, so he would rather take it away from u and give it to his brother? He should of told his brother where to go as u need it. U are doing whats best in the long run! I hope he does the decent thing for ur sake and ur family. Atleast theres the support from the lovely ladies on here when ur having a bad day! Good luck with everything x *hugs*

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