I've been visiting this site now for the past few days and wanted to write a post but always felt a little silly. My partner and I recently broke up which was my choice in the end because believe it or not, he was using me to help financially ie. pay his mortgage, bills. He also owed a friend £70k which he told me was also my debt because we were together. The £70k by the way was a loan he got from his friend to pay his ex because they used to own a house together. This loan was taken out months before I met him. There is more evidence that the relationship was a complete farse but because I guess I was so lonely when we first met I believed everything he said. I can't believe there are people out there that are so cold. There was no love and affection in the relationship.
Anyway, the reason I am writing is that I am 19 wks pregnant and already have a 3 year old son and feel like I've failed them both. The father to my 3 year old son has not been around from day 1 and now the father to this baby does not want anything to do with it. Infact he has been asking me to have an abortion and also his parents (who are ministers in the church) are saying I should. Luckily I have my parents support and they tell me I will be fine however I am just so worried about my son and my baby. I don't want to let them down but somehow I feel I have. I work full time as a Finance Manager so I know I will be fine financially but I am just so worried how not having a father in their lives will affect them in the future. I also feel completely stupid because I should have seen the signs along time ago but I so wanted the relationship to work and questioned my gut feelings when instead I should have gone with them. I'm a complete FAILURE.