Bringing up baby as a single mother

Hi ladies,

Just wanted some advice about what your experiences are of bringing up a baby alone? I'm currently 14+2 pregnant and my ex partner and father of the baby does not want to be involved. I am currently temping for local government but wont be entitled to maternity pay, so not sure how I'm going to do this after I go on maternity leave? And then there's living alone and also bringing up a baby alone without support from the father. I do not have support from my family either. Just wanted your opinions if you've been in a similar situation as I am very lost and confused right now, but definitely will be continuing with the pregnancy.

Thanks

4 Replies

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  • First of all Im sorry you've found yourself facing this situation of raising the baby alone.

    Can i ask will this be your 1st child ?

    The best advise i can possibly give you is to not over-think the situation of "coping" as a single mother because as mothers & mothers to be we have an automatic maternal instinct to nurture & care for our child/ children even before they are born.

    In the father's case he should not be able to get away with pro-creating a life (baby) & walking away from his responsiblities.

    Get in touch with either the child support agency or Child maintainance for further details of how & when you are eligible to make a claim because not only you but the child you are now carrying is entitled to some sort of financial help & maintainance from the biological father.

    In some cases though you may need to wait until the child is born & sometimes provide an paternity test but you'll just have'to be patient. You can also have a look at entitledto.co.uk & this website will let you know what you (personally) may be entitiled to as a single mother.

    Stay as strong as you can & im sure you'll get through this.

    xx

  • Bless Ya not the greatest situation but u will be ok... ur entitled to some sort of maternity pay im sure u need to have s look at entitled to. Com think they have some info about it but when u leave work ur be entitled to income support maybe give them a call for some info think they have a helpline just so ur ready... and if u go on income support ur also entitled to a £500 grant for ur baby to help buy stuff like pram cot etc but def give them a call and look into it. . And when baby is born ur be entitled to child tax credits. .. and u can go to the csa for maintainance payments of he is refusing to help u. . And it doesn't affect any help u get. And When u decide to go back to work ur get extra help with child care. .. think the worry of money is Horrible and daunting when ur going thru it on ur own but if that major thing out the way u can relax a bit and concentrate on u and baby.... hope u have some good friends round u for a bit of support x

  • Hi, I'm not in your position but I did look into this as me & my partner have been having difficulties. Even if you are not entitled to mat pay you may be entitled to maternity allowance from the government, you will need to ring & check. If not you will be entitled to income support from you are 29 weeks pregnant & if you qualify for that you will get healthy start vouchers & the sure start mat grant aswell, you should also qualify for help with your rent, once the baby is born you show birth cert & you get child benefit, child tax credit, not sure if income support increases but the amount you get towards rent will & if you go back to work you will get working tax credit & 70 % of childcare paid I think. I think when I worked it out would be getting around 150 per week cash if you stayed at home not including rent help or child maintence. You would be best to ring the benefits advice line they are really nice & can talk you through it. No one wants to be in the situation were you have to raise a child on benefits but you have to claim what you are entitled to. As for being a single mother, you are already a good mother obviously as you are worrying how to provide for your child. You should talk to your midwife about it as I'm sure there are support groups in your area for people in the same position. You can definitely do this & do it well x

  • if you find reading gov websites as confusing as I do, maybe u could go to ur local citizens advice bureau and ask them to outline what u are entitled to. many of the volunteers are amazing and well versed in these matters. single parenthood is very common in todays society and many cope just fine. Im sure u'll be awesome as a single mom, just believe in urself and trust ur instincts. xx

    ps, ur ex is a jerk

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